Return of the Lamest
by ShadowMajin
Summary: Sequel to Survival of the Lamest. A couple months after the survival camp, Chichi is forcing Gohan to go to the last place he wishes to go: high school. Will he survive school or will the students of OSH kill him in the process?
1. The Mystery of the Missing Pie

The long wait is over. After a very, very, very, very, very, very long time stalling...I mean, sleeping...errr, writing; yes! writing, I have finally posted the first chapter of the SOL sequel I just know you people have been drooling about since I first mentioned it. Well, here you are, hot off the presses, and ready to be read by the masses. I'm getting back into the swing of things with this and it should prove to be an interesting ride.

And now: Welcome back to mind that is ShadowMajin.

* * *

**/CLANG/**

"But moooom…"

**/CLANG/CLANG/**

"Alright, alright, I'll go…Kami—"

**/CLANG/CLANG/CLANG**/

"You will not say your best friend's name in vain!!"

Gohan just crouched lower to the ground, his arms uselessly protecting his head. Scenes like this had been happening for the past few months at the Son household. Now what could be causing Gohan to argue with his mother so continuously?

He was going to school.

Oh, the inhumanity.

For the first time in his somewhat long life, Gohan was being forced to attend a public school. Yet, Gohan had been furiously campaigning to change his mother's mind.

No such luck.

For three straight months.

It was starting to look like the poor demi-saiyan would be attending the torturous…err, I mean wonderful building of somewhat higher learning. Now why wouldn't the scholarly Gohan attend such a facility?

It would mean that he had to deal with teenagers…again.

And there was no way he would do that again. No way. Not over his dead, rotting corpse.

Yet, unfortunately for Gohan, all of his efforts were in vain. His mother, the moment she had come up with this ridiculous…I mean brilliant idea (I don't want to get hit with that frying pan), it had been set in stone that he would go. And that stone was proving unbreakable now. If only there was someway to change her mind. He was running out of time. Leaving the combat area i.e. the living room, Gohan pondered his next course of action.

As Gohan entered his room to contemplate his very few options, he saw a very unusual sight. Before him, he saw an overly elaborate chain reaction of strings being pulled, books toppling over each other like dominoes, a bowling ball rolling around on his desk until it hit a trigger launching a few army men into the air. It was the most bizarre thing that Gohan had ever seen in his life. But what was the purpose of it all?

/SPLAT/

Now he knew what it was for. All of those strings, books, and triggers all accumulated just to accomplish one small thing.

To smash a pie into Gohan's face.

As Gohan wiped his face of what appeared to be a cherry pie…a pie that had mysteriously disappeared earlier that day…a pie that Chichi had made...

At least Gohan knew where it went now. Then he heard a sound. A sound that had plagued his dreams for a good two weeks.

Giggling.

Immediately, Gohan began looking around the surrounding area with his eyes. He remembered all to well what giggling implied.

Girls were nearby.

But not just any girls.

_Fangirls_.

There was no way Gohan was going to let them catch him off his guard. Not like last time. He shuddered. He still hadn't figured out what Erasa meant by "having their way with him."

Running to the first hiding spot he could find, the closet, he swung open the doors to reveal his little brother, trying to keep his giggling from becoming an all out laugh.

'So that's where all the giggling came from.'

"Uh, Goten, what are you doing in the closet?" Gohan asked.

That's when Goten's giggling became a roaring laugh upon looking at the pie covered face of his older brother. After waiting till his brother's laughing fit was over, Gohan reiterated his question.

"Nii-chan, I can't believe I got you with that pie. You look so hilarious!" Once again Goten began laughing at his brother's misfortune. Now Gohan was getting irritated with this. Not only was he being force against his will to go to some weird school place, he was dripping with pie…a cherry pie…a pie that Chichi had made…

And then it hit him. He would have his revenge. "Mom?! I found your missing pie!"

The sound of a charging bull running up the staircase was heard. In the doorway, Son Chichi appeared, a frantic look on her face. She had been looking for that pie for a long time now. Now she was ready to collect it.

The sight she came across, however, was not what she expected. Gohan's room was a mess. All kinds of…things…were scattered around it. Over by the closet she saw her two boys, Goten laughing in the closet, and Gohan standing over him…

Covered in her missing pie.

Chichi's frantic look soon became an all out pissed off look; red could be seen reflecting off of her eyes. Gohan could have sworn the temperature dropped a good fifteen degrees. Reaching to the place that held the deadliest weapon to all saiyan kind, she pulled out her frying pan.

Time stood still. The clouds in the evening sky evaporated. Vegeta felt a chill work its way up his spine. Goten's laughter came to an immediate halt.

Gohan just pointed his finger at Goten, fear evident in his face. "He did it."

**/CLANG/CLANG/CLANG/CLANG/**

It was a few good hours before Chichi stopped her all out attack on Goten's head. The little chibi never stood a chance. He wouldn't wake up till morning if he was lucky.

Gohan waited until Chichi had calmed down. Seeing another chance at getting out of school, he jumped at it. "Since I found your pie, can I not go to—"

"If you dare finish that sentence, you won't live to see that day."

As much as Gohan wanted to tempt fate, he was no fool, or at least thought he wasn't one. He could even name one kid that kept agitating his mother until he learned not to say anything to her. Plus, he wanted to live another day. Heck, from the stories his father told him about his first trip to Otherworld, he had an idea that the food there wasn't very good.

'Hmmm, I wonder what's for desert.'


	2. Enter the Almighty Banana

Imagine the shock I got when I first posted this fic. It's been quite awhile since I've gotten this kind of reaction. Thanks everyone for your reviews and for taking the time to read this fic. Something I also forgot to say in the first chapter, I'd like to thank everyone that has read the clips I've given them and for those who have given me ideas for this fic. It's been awhile so I have completely forgotten who ya'll are, but I'm sure you remember who you are. At least I hope you remember who you are.

* * *

It was D-day…again.

The day that Gohan had been dreading for the longest time; which was about three days. He had finally given up about fighting (riiiggghhhtttt) with his mother and agreed reluctantly with the Son matriarch. Unfortunately, Chichi made him put that in writing.

'What did I ever do to deserve this?'

It was six-thirty in the morning. Never in his life had he ever been up this early. He knew being that today was his first day and that he didn't want to be late but this was ridiculous. Why did the schools have to make him wake up at this ungodly hour?

That, my friends, is what I've been asking myself since my first day of school.

Gohan had woken up like he had everyday before this fateful day i.e. Goten jumping up and down on his stomach. However, he had a guest this time.

Chichi had decide to join her youngest as well.

It was a little weird having a forty year old…uhh…err, _thirty_ year old...uhh, make that _twenty _year old woman jumping up and down on his stomach along with his little brother. But Gohan had had weirder before. What that was you ask?

You don't want to know.

Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, Gohan got up shortly after that. After getting dressed in his red pants, black vest, and white, long sleeved shirt, that his mother threatened him to wear under pain of death by starvation, he went downstairs to eat his breakfast like any old day. Meaning, it was a food massacre. No shred of food escaped the black holes that were the Son boys' stomachs. They took no prisoners and showed no mercy.

Now why is this sounding like a war fic?

Finally, when the disgusting fireworks were over, Chichi ushered her first born out the door, clutching what ever breakfast he hadn't eaten yet and a book bag. /Sign/ kids today grow up so fast…wait a minute, I'm not that old.

It didn't take long for the brave saiyan to reach the city limits of the city that would hold his destiny or demise or any other philosophical D-word you can think of. The point is that he was reaching the place that was home to his prison…no, that's not right…incarceration? No, that doesn't work…oh well; it was home to something, that's for sure.

* * *

"Okay everybody; this is a hold up (cheesy, no?)! We want all of your valuables, money, credit cards, everything! Cujo, get the teller to open the vault. Grab anything and everything," a bank robber (so cliché) yelled out.

The citizens of Satan City cowered before the men robbing them. It seemed like they were getting robbed everyday nowadays. Probably were too. But they complied with the robbers; they weren't going to be causing trouble anytime soon.

Just then, literally, the cops showed up. The somewhat brave men in blue dove out of their cars and position themselves around the Satan City Bank. One of the officers pulled out a megaphone. "Alright then criminals! Come out with your hands up and surrender your firearms! If you don't comply, we will be forced to shoot!"

"Comply this!" shouted one of the robbers just as a few of the men unleashed their weapons. Bullets flew through the air, imprinting themselves in everything they touched. The officers huddled behind their respective covers. What had they ever done to be shot at?

Obviously, they're forgetting the parking ticket they so kindly gave me the other day.

Inside the bank, the other robbers had gathered their loot and were preparing to rush out to their getaway trucks. "Okay boys, we'll start firing at the pigs so we can jump in our cars, got it?"

All the men nodded their heads. "On the count of three, one…two…three!" All of the men came running out of the bank unloading all of their guns, distracting the officers. They all dove into the safety of their trunks, and began to speed off.

Unbeknownst to everyone, including the pigeons, a certain demi-saiyan was flying overhead. Miraculously, he didn't hear all of the commotion from the robbery that was occurring below him. Now what could have possibly been able to keep him from hearing it?

'Mmmm, banana.'

Oh. That's what.

As Gohan was flying overhead, he was concentrating on the last of his breakfast: the almighty banana. Carefully and precisely, he peeled the fruit until he had separated the peel and the…wait…what do you call the part of the banana you eat? Seriously, if anyone knows, let me know. Anyways, Gohan had just peeled the fruit and ate the edible part, dropping the peel to the ground. What he didn't know was that his peel fell right in front of the getaway trucks of a certain group of bank robbers that we all know and love…ish.

As the first truck ran over the peel, the truck slipped…lost traction…whatever, and flipped onto its side, sliding into a building.

Somehow, the peel came out unscathed until the second truck ran over it. Once again, traction was lost, but this time the driver managed to control the trunk. That was until the truck ran right into a light pole, a few parking meters, and another light pole.

Once again, the peel came out unscathed. How was it that this peel was undamaged?

I have no idea.

However, an old man had witnessed the incident, seeing both trucks crash along with the figure in the sky. The old dude could have sworn that the flying figure had golden hair, but he couldn't be too sure. For all he knew, the figure had an orange Mohawk and purple skin. However, he was certain that he saw the figure drop a ball of light that fell in front of the obviously speeding trucks, causing the wrecks.

The poor banana peel went unnoticed.

The cops soon showed up, seeing the wreck and began to investigate. It wasn't long before a young, teenage girl showed up (ten bucks goes to whoever can guess who this is).

Wearing a baggy white shirt, black shorts, and standing in all of her pigtailed glory, Videl Satan stared at the scene.

'What the hell happened here?'

Before her was the wrecks of two getaway trucks that the young Satan girl had been notified about. Naturally, she had come to help. She didn't expect to find this, though.

It took awhile, but after interrogating every person that could have been a potential witness, she finally came to the old man.

"Sir, did you see what happened here?" Videl asked.

"Oh! Hey Videl! You didn't see what happened here? It was amazing!" the old, somewhat senile man exclaimed loudly.

Very loudly.

"Well, what happened?" Videl asked as nicely as she could, impatience slowly eating her up.

"Well you see, these here bank robbers were driving like mad down the road when this golden warrior figure flew overhead. He dropped some kind of light in front of them and what you have before you is the result of it."

"Ball of light, huh?" Videl said skeptically. This old man must have been hallucinating. "So what did he look like?"

With the same fervor as before, the old twit carried on. "He looked to be very tall young man, maybe about your age, with golden blond hair."

Videl's eyes widen. She heard of a similar description before. Sharpner had a boogeyman that fit that description as well. There was just one problem.

That had been at the 439 mountain area.

Sure, a figure could travel from there to Satan City with ease but said person had never been in this area before. Why now?

Well, she would find out that was for certain. She was Videl Satan. She always found out her answers…except for one time…but that didn't count! She was on her territory now and she had never been stopped here before!

But right now, she had to get to class. No sense being late on the first day, right?

Right?

Seriously, right?

* * *

To dbzfan952: Lol, I don't blame you, it has been quite a long time since I promised to make this. And don't worry, he'll wear something different. It'll be quite unexpected I can guarantee.


	3. Students of OSH Unite!

I have something to ask all of you. I practically have everything I want to do with this fic planned out in my head but I need a little help. I need an idea of something a high school would do, like a school function. I don't need a field trip but just something to do around school. And by the way, nothing that has already been done, like that career day. Need something a bit more original. Just throw things at me and I'll let you know when I have what I want. Thanks if you can help.

* * *

It was the beginning of the new school year. Teens were returning to the building known as Orange Star High School, reuniting with their friends, some that they hadn't seen since the last school semester. Among them a blond girl was searching the crowd, looking for her friends, two specifically.

Erasa was a skillful huntress when she wanted to be. If it was something she deemed important, then she would stop at nothing, unless something distracted her, to find what she was after.

Ah, here was one of her first targets…I mean, buddies.

In front of the blond girl, in all of her tank top glory, was the city's most prized citizen.

Sharpner.

Okay, maybe he wasn't the most prized person out there but to Erasa he was important enough. Even that was still a stretch, though.

"Sharpner! Hey!" Erasa called out, trying to get her…friend's attention.

It didn't work.

At the present moment, Sharpner was in the middle of what he considered the most important part of his day. What could that possibly be you ask?

Do you really want to know?

'Where the heck is Videl? Doesn't she know that this is the first day of us going out?'

Need I say more?

As Sharpner was looking over the heads of his fellow students, he failed to hear or see his other friend. That was until she stomped onto his foot.

Hard.

Very hard.

"YEEOOOWWW!"

"I'm glad I have your attention Sharpner," Erasa said a little miffed.

"What do you want? I was busy looking out for Videl. You do know we're going out, right?" Sharpner said in his defense…wait, Sharpner actually came up with a defense? What is wrong with this picture?

"Really!" squealed Erasa. "You two are actually going out? Since when?"

"Since never," a very, very low growl said.

"Wow Sharpner that was a low growl, even for you."

"Um, Erasa? That wasn't me."

"Well who else could it be?" the confused girl asked. A hand tapped Erasa shoulder, gaining the blonds' attention. Turning around, her eyesight fell upon the source of the growl.

There stood her best friend of some odd years, Videl, and a very unhappy one at that.

"Hey Vi! Since when have you and Sharpner been going out?"

Videl looked at her friend. Didn't she just answer that a couple of seconds ago? The summer vacation must have fried more of her brain cells, or at least the few that she had left. And believe me; she didn't have that many left that she could afford to lose.

However, the pigtailed girl answered her friend's query. "We are not going out. I would rather stick my finger in an electrical socket…better yet, I'd rather stick Sharpner's finger in an electrical socket than be considered an item with that dolt."

"Um, Videl, I'm right here."

Turning her head slowly to the object of her…now what could it be…hatred, Videl used her rarely used Satan glare on the boy, freezing his blood in his veins. After Videl had discovered a more powerful glare, she had somewhat retired her old glare in favor of her new one but every once and a while, she would use it just to make sure she still had that magic.

"If you want to stay right there, you will keep your mouth shut and not utter another word. Understand?"

Sharpner, being the great guy he was, didn't heed this warning. "Now babe, you know you don't—"

Before he could even finish that sentence or breathe for that matter, Sharpner found himself in a world of…make that universe of pain. He wasn't even sure which part of him hurt worse: His gut or his face.

Leaving the crumpled mess that was now Sharpner, Videl and Erasa headed towards the classroom that they would be sleeping in…err, I mean learning in, that's better…for the rest of the year. Miraculously enough, Sharpner managed to catch up with them before they arrived at the room. How did he do it?

You'd have to watch "Unsolved Mysteries" to figure that one out.

After several minutes passed, the bells had rung, announcing that the new school year had started. The teacher had just entered the room when a knock had been heard from the door. After giving permission to enter, a new student entered the room.

Videl heard gasps form the other students and turned her attention to the new kid and her eyes grew big.

'It couldn't be.'

* * *

Gohan was standing in the now empty hallways of his new school. He had just left the office to get his room assignment with more than he wanted. Apparently, the school staff wasn't afraid of sexual harassment charges from their students, not that Gohan had understood the advances, living in a people free environment for Kami knows long.

It was still a little creepy.

Not that he would call the secretary unattractive, but she was nearly twice his age! Now that he thought about it, he had been noticing the opposite sex a little more often than he ever remembered. His mom had said that he was just growing up but he couldn't be too sure about that.

After escaping that awkward situation, Gohan had roamed the halls of OSH in search of his classroom, finally finding it. Just as he was approaching the door, it opened with a teen about his age with a sullen look; an older man's voice was heard telling him to get the hell out of his class.

Gohan gulped. If high school was like this, then he didn't know if he was going to survive here very long.

* * *

It couldn't be. Videl hadn't seen this kid since grade 5. She had known several kids that had moved to different schools since she had started school but she had never expected to see any of them coming back to the Orange Star school district.

The teacher approached the youth. "Hello son. Are you _psst psst psst_?" Videl couldn't make out the name that the teacher said, not that it mattered since the guy said no. That's when things got weird.

"You're not? Then what the hell are you doing in my classroom?! Get out you piece of garbage before I wring your neck!"

Needless to say, the student left, almost running into another student. The other new kid looked after the retreating youth with a look of apprehension before walking up to the suddenly calm teacher, or maybe he was just being bipolar. What ever the reason, the teacher once again asked "Are you _psst psst psst_?"

After a confirmation this time, the teacher said "Hello there young man. I'm glad you could join my class this year."

A look of relief crossed over his face before he turned to face the class and as he did, dropped his relief look in return for a look of fear and horror.

"Oh dear Kami NO!"

This little outburst surprised all of the students; and if they weren't, they were too far gone in their sleepiness to hear it.

"Now don't be shy boy. These aren't monsters, these are your peers or something close to peers," the teacher said as he pried the terrified youth from his death grip on the wall…wait, how does someone have a death grip on a wall?

To Videl, it looked like the teen was trying in vain to blend in with the wall. Now what could have caused this sudden change in behavior? Taking a closer look with her highly advanced Satan vision, the teen started to look very familiar to the Satan girl.

Then it clicked.

Videl's eyes grew wide. Never had she expected to see him again…again. The last time she had seen the teen was at a survival camp a few months ago.

Son Gohan.

* * *

Son Gohan was petrified (it's amazing how many words I can come up with for scared). Never had he thought he would see any of the survival camp people here. It never even crossed his mind once…well, maybe once, but that was in a nightmare. And that's another story for another time.

Gohan didn't have any problems talking with the teacher like he thought he would. It was when he turned to face the other students when everything went downhill. Almost immediately, he recognized a few of the students, Erasa and a couple of the girls especially.

Granted, not all of the former campers were in the class, about six or seven to be exact, but it was still enough to nearly make him soil his pants.

He was glad he hadn't by now.

"Oh dear Kami NO!" he screamed, backing up into the wall, hoping against hope that he would blend in with it.

No such luck.

The teacher managed to pull him away from the wall and place him in front of the class, sweating a river full of sweat. That was when the teacher began his introduction. "Alright class, before you is your newest classmate, Son Gohan. Be nice to him and make sure you don't drive him insane like you did the last new kid."

Ah, such memories. The last new kid they had had tried to fit in with the school but ended up in a straight jacket and a padded room. Why he ended up there, no one knows but it was something to brag about.

No other school could claim that.

Videl smirked. 'This should be interesting,' she thought. She wondered how long Gohan could actually stand being at OSH. Living out in the woods was one thing but being surrounded by people your own age was different.

Very different…ish.

And what luck! The only open seat left was the one next to Erasa. She'd get the chance to watch him squirm with a front row seat.

Wow, talk about being sadistic.

Slowly Gohan walked up the steps to the only available seat. Unfortunately for the demi-saiyan, it was right next to Erasa, the leader of the fangirls.

The very word sent shivers down his spine.

"Hey cutie!" Erasa greeted the nerve stricken Gohan.

"H-h-hey Erasa. L-long time, no s-see"

"You remembered me!" Erasa exclaimed.

"How could I not," Gohan mumbled, bypassing the head over heels Erasa but not Videl. She had caught that mumbling. She still had no idea as to why Gohan was scared of Erasa. She wasn't that scary of a person, or at least Videl thought she wasn't.

However, Videl wasn't one that just watched people suffer; she usually wanted a bit of the action too. "Hey Gohan."

Gohan slowly turned his attention to the raven haired girl. "Hey Videl. You look…good."

Videl almost smiled but caught herself in time. Couldn't ruin her image now can we (at least not this early)? So she just settled on a smirk instead. She was glad that Gohan recognized her.

However, the boy to the other side of her wasn't pleased. It was enough that Sharpner had to fight for what was rightfully his, but his main competition had just arrived to take it away…what ever it was that belonged to him, he forgot. But he was sure he'd remembered it eventually. Just as he was sure that a pair was better than a three of a kind.

Slipping his arm around Videl's shoulders or at least trying to, he stopped when Videl nearly bit his hand off…again. Retracting his arm, Sharpner decided to grace the newbie with his…uhh, give me a sec…ummm…well, I don't know what it was but Sharpner decide to grace Gohan with it.

Now if only I could figure out what that is.

"Hey Mountain Boy. Remember me?"

Gohan just stared at him. He could have sworn that he had seen the long haired guy from somewhere but…oh wait, now he knew…never mind.

"Hey Karpner."

Videl and Erasa busted out laughing. How Gohan could forget Sharpner was a mystery to them. If only they could do the same but noooooo, Sharpner had to keep bugging them everyday. Then their laughing died down to a melancholy silence. If only they could forget Sharpner, if only…

Sharpner, on the other hand, was furious. Not only did his chief rival for Videl's attention not remember him but he screwed up his name. How _dare_ he. "Try again," Sharpner said with his first ever dangerously low voice.

Give that man a cigar.

"Um…Tarpner?"

"Again."

"Garpner?"

"No."

"Garter?"

By now Sharpner was pissed. He would have liked nothing better than to beat Gohan down like the dog he was (ha! Like he stands a chance!). He'd just have to remind him who he was.

"It's Sharpner, baka."

"You sure it's not Garter?"

Sharpner clinched his teeth. "Positive."

"Well, if you say so."

Sharpner just glared or tried to glare. He would have his revenge when the time was right. And he would surely get it.

If he remembered to, at any rate.

But that would have to wait. The teacher guy was trying to do something weird that he claimed was teaching. Well, if Sharpner had any say so, he wouldn't let that guy teach him anything. After all, it was his teenager right to ignore anyone he deemed worthy to ignore.

And ignore he would, just like the way he ignored that annoying itch that wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he scratched it. Man, being a teenage was hard work.

* * *

To dbzfan952: Amazing what little things you can change to make a story completely different. Everyone has an actual appearence of the Gold Fighter; I have some senile old man seeing things. The same scenario but different ways to tell it. Too bad other people can't seem to do that anymore.


	4. Art is No Friend of Mine

I'd like to thank everyone who answered my question for ideas. Now I have another one: what exactly is a self insertion? I always thought it was just the author making themself into a character and putting them in the story but recently, that thoughts been challenged. If anyone knows, let me know.

* * *

'Oh Kami, just strike me down.'

That was the first and only thought of our beloved Son Gohan.

He was expecting something more challenging than this when he first arrived. Where did these so called teachers come from? The Stone Age? The things they were teaching were abysmally easy.

Slowly, as boredom settled in on Gohan, he laid his head on to his desk and closed his eyes. Ahh, such sweat, blissful sleep.

/WHAM/

Gohan's head shot up, eyes flying wide open. Before him stood his teacher, ruler in hand and she didn't seem too happy. What could have possibly been making her so unhappy?

"Mr. Son Gohan, what do you think you're doing sleeping in my class?"

"Umm, exactly that ma'am, sleeping," Gohan said, oblivious to the chuckling going on around him. His answer didn't seem to please the teacher too much either.

"Why would you be sleeping in my class when you should be taking notes like all of the other students? Are you too good to do that? Or are you just too lazy? Which is it?"

Gohan looked at the board for a couple of seconds before answering. "I already know this. I learned it when I was three."

The teacher had a skeptical look on her face. "Oh really now?"

Gohan's face took on a look of shame. "Okay, okay, I was four."

The same skeptical look was still perched on her face.

"Five?"

The look hardened.

"Fine, fine, I was eight. Three just sounded so much better though."

"Mr. Son, when will you stop telling lies?"

Gohan shook his head. "But I'm not lying." Turning to his book bag, Gohan pulled out a large textbook and handed it to the teacher.

The teacher eyed Gohan and then the book, her face becoming a look of shock. "B-but this is a college senior level math book. H-how could you be studying this?"

Gohan smoothly or somewhat smoothly took the book from her. "It's taken me a year but I think I have it all down."

The teacher stared at him in, aww I'll let you figure it out. Slowly, she descended down the stairs to the front of the room, collapsing in her chair, not moving an inch, centimeter…whatever.

The rest of the class was in silence. No one had bested their math teacher, much less left her speechless. What was going on?

BBBBRRRRIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG

Gohan stood up and gathered his things before leaving the classroom, the other students not moving out of paralysis. Hey, it's better then saying shock again.

* * *

Videl was on the hunt. Naturally being one of the first students to come out of their comas, Videl was now stalking her somewhat newly found prey…Son Gohan.

Originally, she had thoughts about eating lunch with him, to solve the puzzle he had left her with so many months ago. She had already searched the cafeteria and picnic areas, finding no sight of him. She was now searching the halls, once again not having any success.

'Now, if I was Gohan, where would I be,' Videl thought frustrated. She was starting to get hungry too. If she was right, and she always was, Gohan probably brought his mother's cooking with him; the same cooking that made her drool, though seeing the Son boy eating it wasn't something she wanted to see again. His disgusting eating habits had haunted her dreams…nightmares for the better part of three weeks. But Chichi did make a mean casserole. 'Maybe Gohan would share if I ever find him.'

Videl stopped in her tracks. 'Okay, let's review. Gohan's not in the cafeteria or outside, nor is in the halls or any of the classrooms. So where does that leave?'

Her eyes flew open. "The roof!"

After climbing the everlasting staircases full of back braking steps, she finally reached the top. Who ever created stairs was sure going to get a visit from her before the day was out. And she would introduce him…or her, can't forget about the her…to her fist.

Opening the door and stepping out on to the roof, Videl searched for her prey. The sound of chewing and burping caught her ear leading her over to where Gohan was sitting, devouring his mountain sized lunch.

'Kami, I almost forgot about that. Great, now I'll be having nightmares for another three weeks.'

After staring at the spectacle for a few minutes, the Satan girl came out of her reverie, due to seeing the sight of a Son challenging food, and called out to him to get his attention. No such luck. After a few more fruitless attempts, Videl smirked. Okay, what's wrong with her?

Pulling out a rock from nowhere…really she did. If you want to know how, here's my best explanation…Mystical Satan Powers.

Anyways, with rock in hand, Videl took careful aim, launching the rock at Gohan's head. She got the result she wanted but not in the way she expected it.

Before the rock collided with Gohan's head, Gohan caught the rock in midair without even turning away from his food. Almost absently, Gohan started eating the rock. Slowly, Gohan came out of his food crazed…mind thingy, and stopped chewing on the recently created pebbles in his mouth. 'Well this is different,' Gohan thought.

Spitting the chibi rocks in to his hand, Gohan was lost as to why they came out. He knew his mom wouldn't put a rock in his lunch on purpose or unless she was pregnant. Oh sweet Kami did he dread that time period. If there was ever a time when Son Chichi was off her rocker, not that she was on it to begin with, that time took the cake…mmmmm, cake.

Looking around, he finally spotted a bug eyed Videl, speechless due to the spectacle that was Gohan. 'Now what's her problem?'

"Um, hi," Gohan said for lack of anything better.

"Uh, same to ya," Videl said , once again, for lack of anything better.

"So what are you doing here?"

Finally coming out of her mindlessness due to the sudden growth of a brand new brain, Videl finally came to her senses. "I was looking for you. What are you doing up here?"

Gohan chuckled. "I don't think that everyone would like to see my eating habits. You can attest to that."

"Oh sure, spare them the eighth wonder of the world. Why didn't you show us the same considerations?"

"Well, growing up in the middle of nowhere, you don't really need to hide anything from everyone."

"You got a point," Videl said, sitting across from him. She eyed the food hungrily. "You don't mind if I steal some from you?"

Almost mournfully, Gohan replied "Knock yourself out."

Videl started munching on anything she could grab. She had spent a week trying to get her cooks to cook this well but gave up when she didn't get much success.

For those of you who have never read my fics, get use to the skipping of lunch scenes. I'm just too damn lazy to finish them.

Moving on, Videl got a stern look on her face. Now was the moment of truth. After all of the fruitless research she had done on the Sons, she hadn't been able to come up with anything worthwhile. Now she had her chance to get the answers she wanted, even if she had to beat it out of him, son of Goku be damned.

BBBBRRRRIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG

Great. Just great. Just when she got her chance to interrogate the Son boy, the stupid bell rings. Boy did she have some choice words to say about that abominable clock. But right now, I won't even give her the chance to say any.

* * *

Art. The last class of the day just had to be art.

Art was the bane of Gohan's existence. Despite being practically a genius in every school subject known to man and alien kind, he could never manage a decent piece of art. It was maddening. Even Goten's crude crayon pictures were better than his work.

Wow…that's pretty bad.

"Okay class," said the ever hyper art teacher. What made her hyper you ask?

Fifteen Dr. Peppers and a bag of M&Ms.

"Today, I want everyone to paint whatever suits you best. Today is your day to express yourself. Now go on, don't be shy. I won't laugh too hard if it's crap."

Gohan stared bewilderedly at the overactive teacher. Was this her way at comforting him?

Grabbing some paint and a large sheet of paper, Gohan sat at his table just staring at the horrendous creature…thing...that was drawing paper. Looking at his companions he saw that they were fairing just as much as he was, except that they were actually painting something.

'Well, might as well try to do something,' the Son boy thought, grabbing a paint brush and prepping to begin yet another horrible picture.

Moving on, it was just a few minutes before the end of class and the end of the prison term…err, school day that the teacher began inspecting the students' work.

"Oh Erasa I just love your work! I just love how the black mixes with the red!" the teacher exclaimed. Looking at Erasa's painting, black was just about everywhere. Below the center of the paper, three bodies laid all over each other, blood splattering all over the bodies. Although the painting was good for a high schooler, the crudely drawn arrows pointing at the bodies with mom, dad, and brother written as if a five year old had written with crayons, spoiled the effect. And I thought Erasa was already disturbed /sigh/.

Moving on to Videl's picture, it was very simple compared to Erasa's. Videl had just drawn some stick figures with smiley faces. You had to give her points for trying.

Next was Sharpner. On his paper was something that could be best described as something belonging to the Renaissances. The painting was of a blacked haired women with a curious half smile, oddly looking like a painting known as the Mona Lisa. However, the teacher was less then thrilled by it.

"This is absolute garbage Sharpner. You haven't improved one bit from last year." The teacher shook her head. There were just those people you couldn't help.

However, looking up to the last person, the teacher squealed with joy. "Oh my Kami! It's a masterpiece!"

Before her stood an embarrassed Gohan. On his paper were three dots in the center of the page, each a different color. How the teacher could have called that a masterpiece was beyond him. Probably from all of those Dr. Peppers.

"Mr. Son, I see such promise in you. I can't wait to see your future works."

"Um, thanks, I guess," Gohan said unsure of himself. The lady was starting to creep him out onto an all new level and that was saying something.

BBBBRRRRIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG

Yes! Freedom! Gohan tore out of the school as fast as he could within reason. He didn't think the other students would appreciate a sudden wind knocking them all over the place.

Nothing could stop his elated feelings as he took off in to the skies towards home.

/SPLAT/

Except for that bird dropping.

* * *

To dbzfan952: The school thing as in functions, banquets, that kind of stuff. What ever it is the school must tragically use money that they can't use for the football team. Lol, man that was mean but that's what it always seems like.


	5. Revenge of the Golden Statue

Well, I just learned something. Everyone is just as clueless on self inserts as I am. At least we all have company.

And now, thanks to Henry-Coreen-Lover125 for reminding me of something of the utmost importance, I know ask you all: What is the deal with girls liking Dirty Dancing? I know, if any of you read Battle Stain, then you know I asked the question there and didn't get much help so...I"m bringing it here. Maybe...just maybe, this all important question shall be answered.

* * *

Such a lovely sight. The colors of red, yellow, and orange mixed together as the sun sets on the world. Very few things could have ruined that moment.

Videl was unfortunately the one to find such a thing.

School had been let out hours ago, but with a few calls from the local police department, her journey home had been delayed for a while, especially with that cat in the tree.

Man that cat was pissed off.

As Videl walked towards her ever looming home, she noticed something very wrong. There was something standing on her porch. As Videl neared it, she began to see that it was a statue…

A golden statue.

A golden statue of her father.

Now why did that look so familiar?

On closer inspection, Videl noticed that her gold plated father seemed to be very crumpled, as if someone had tried to straighten it out from a ball…

'It couldn't be.'

Yes, you guessed it. The golden statue had returned. What it was doing here was a mystery to the Satan girl. Last she knew about it, she had personally trashed the statue and punted it to places unknown. Who ever the baka was that found it and gave to her father would pay dearly for it.

And for those of you who have no earthly clue as to what's going on, here's a quick flashback scene.

(cue Twilight Zone theme music)

_Right in front of her line of sight was the golden stuate of Hercule. How it was made, she didn't know, nor did she know where the gold came from._

_But that's besides the point._

_The point is there was a statue of her dad in all of his laughing glory. She had to destroy that...that...thing._

_Immediately, she began marching over to the idol, cracking her knuckles as she drew closer. However, a few students jumped in the middle of her warpath, blocking her from her target of aggression._

_"Videl, please, don't do anything rash," one student said._

_"Yeah Videl, we need this. You don't know what it's like sitting in a cage with nothing to do," another reasoned._

_In response, Videl decided to turn on her new Chichi glare. The students froze, fear laced in their eyes. Oh, she could get use to this. There was just one problem._

_The students were still in her way._

_A few punches and kicks later, the statue's defenders were defeated. A couple of broken bones and a kid who would never walk again wasn't too much collateral damage, was it?_

_Reaching up to the statue, Videl got a grip on the hideous thing and began squeezing. Slowly the pressure from the Satan girl began to overwhelm the statue as it twisted and turned like silly putty. When she finished, the once proud statue looked more like a large crumpled up paper wad, only made of gold. Then she punted the golden ball high into the mountains, never to be seen again, or at least that's what Videl thought would happen. Poor, deluded girl._

(exit Twilight Zone music)

Videl's hands began to shake. She knew what she had to then. She had to get rid of that hideous statue…again.

Videl style.

Reaching out with her arms, Videl started to begin the process of destroying the atrocity that was the statue. However, her plans of utter destruction came to an immediate halt as a voice pierced through her brief bout with insanity.

"Hey Videl! You're home! Finally!"

Appearing from behind the statue was none other than her almighty father (Hercule for you slower folk). His trademark smile…thingy…was firmly plastered to his face, just like it was on the statue. Kinda of creepy actually.

Now what was he up to?

"Hey Videl, look at the statue I found a couple days ago. I was traveling in the mountains on my way to East City when I ran into this ball of solid gold. When I took it to my gold specialist guy, he saw that it could be folded out and this is what popped out of it. This could only be a sign from above that the Kami love me!"

So this was the baka that Videl was going to kill. It was just her luck too. Only her father would have been able to stumble upon her handiwork and restore it, somewhat, just to annoy her.

If he wasn't her dad, she would have killed him a long time ago.

A very, _very_ long time ago.

Clinching her teeth and speaking as slowly as possible so she didn't blow up from anger, Videl asked "Dad, what the hell are you doing with this monstrosity?"

Hercule stood straight up with his hands on his hips, a look of complete seriousness covering his face. "We're going to keep it. I just haven't decided on where to put it yet."

'Oh hell no. There is no way I'm having that within a mile radius of me!' Videl thought.

"Dad…get rid of it."

"What? Why? What are you talking about?"

"Get rid of that damn thing or I will blow it to kingdom come."

"You, young lady, will do no such thing. I found it and I'm keepin' it. If you don't like it, tough."

Videl balled her hands into fists, her fury etched clearly on her face. In response, Hercule extended himself to his full height, trying and failing to look intimidating. Videl took a few…scratch that, a lot of deep breaths. She would just have to destroy the statue when her father wasn't looking.

And that could be arranged.

Trying to say something, anything, as civil as possible, Videl said "I'm going to my room. Call me when dinner's ready."

Nodding, Hercule stood aside, allowing his overly violent daughter into the house. He was gonna have to put a security system around his latest pride and joy.

A very _good_ security system.

* * *

The sound of water and nature's creatures could be heard for miles. The tranquility was of a different world that no city dweller could ever find.

"NIIII-CCCHHHAAAANNNNNN!"

Never mind.

With a peace shattering cry, the youngest son launched himself at the opening front door as Gohan arrived at his house. The demi-saiyan never stood a chance as the young chibi tackled him right outside of the doorway. Looking at his younger sibling as he laid on the ground, Gohan couldn't help but smile at his happiness…ness.

/brrrtttttttttttttt/

Okay, that took him out of his…uhh…happy mood. Damn I'm using happy a lot.

"Oh Kami that smells!"

Goten giggled before jumping off the suffering saiyan and took off into the house, leaving his brother to suffer in the noxious fumes. After his nose recovered from its torture, Gohan managed to walk into the Son home, albeit wobbly. Man that fart was strong.

Then his mother attacked him, figuratively of course.

"Hey sweetie! How was your day?"

Smiling for his mother's benefit, Gohan answered "Fine mom."

"Well that's good. Did you make any new friends?"

Gohan instantly became nervous. He didn't know how his mother would react to finding out that he ran into…_them_.

"Uh, about that. I kinda ran into those guys that we had for that survival camp."

What ever activity that Chichi was doing that I had completely forgotten to mention, she stopped it. The next thing that Gohan knew his mother was two inches from his face.

"Ahhh!" Gohan squeaked as he jumped back.

In a very serious tone, Chichi started her interrogation…questioning…that's not right, ahh…she started something, alright?

"Tell me Gohan, do you know if any of those _darling_ children took anything? Anything that didn't _belong_ to them?"

Gohan frowned. He didn't know of anything missing. Where was this going?

"What do you mean?"

"Just the other day, I went looking for some mushrooms, you know, for dinner, and for some reason, I couldn't find any. So I ask again, did they take any mushrooms?"

Gohan paled slightly. He couldn't afford to tell Chichi why the mushrooms were missing. About a couple of years ago, Yamcha had suddenly become interested in the mushrooms growing around the Sons' property. Said something about hallucinating like crazy or something. However, Yamcha couldn't just take any without asking and he knew that he wasn't Chichi's most favorite person. So he did the next best thing.

He made a deal with Gohan.

Simply, Gohan would collect many of the mushrooms that Yamcha requested and in return, he would pay Gohan for them. It became pretty lucrative considering Yamcha's job as a professional baseball player.

Losing all that money would pain him to no end. Besides, how would Chichi react to her son as a mushroom dealer?

"Uhh, I don't think so. I'll look into it, though."

Chichi's eyes bore into the pitiful saiyan. The halfway face off lasted until Chichi turned back to what ever it was she was doing earlier.

Gohan breathed in a deep sigh of relief. That was close…_very_ close. He'd have to be more careful about his mushroom activities.

If he wanted to survive his mother's wrath, he'd definitely have to make sure of it.

Definitely.

* * *

To dbzfan952: Hmmm, alright then. Geez, seems like no one here knows what that is. Oh well. Art is a fickle thing. Some people thing the most simple thing in the world is a masterpiece while I just nod my head and fall asleep. Lol, I'd make such a great critic.

To obi-wanster: Thanks, the chapters shall keep coming. No worry there.


	6. Enter the Gold Fighter or is it?

I'd like to dedicate the chapter to Rohan777. Thinking long and hard about your review, I liked the idea of a, lol, trade off. So I wrote one down. While not as violent as the one you described, I hope this is a worthy deal.

And onto the results of the Dirty Dancing question. I have surmised...that I came to the wrong site to ask this question. Many of you haven't seen the movie or don't understand the attraction to it, not that I blame you, since neither do I. I did get a response that pretty much said that it was the ideal 'girl getting swept away by the guy of her dreams' thing. Sounds more like Sixteen Candels to me, but oh well. I'll let this sink into your brains now. As far as the Dirty Dancing question goes now, I'm calling it case closed. If anyone would like to through in input, be my guest. I'll be racking my brain for another question to ask ya'll so keep your head up.

* * *

The moon shown high in the night sky, the stars twinkling as they dotted the heavens. The chirping of crickets created a peaceful atmosphere to all who were in the area. And yes, just as you had to guess by now, there was someone there, standing in a lonely meadow that I had just decided to put there.

Decked out in a dark trench coat and a hat, the figure was hard to identify from just looking at him. It was unknown as to how long he had been standing there or what he was waiting for but it had to be for something important. I mean, it would just be useless to write this scene if there wasn't something special about it, right?

Right?

And just as the author finished his last "right," another figure entered the meadow, the same trench coat and hat on. Apparently, both persons had something to hide. Hide from what, I don't know.

Or maybe it was a who?

"Do you have the merchandise?" the new mystery guy said, his voice rough and a bit light hearted.

"Yeah, I do…do you have the money?" the first guy replied, bringing out a suitcase that had been mysteriously hiding in his coat.

Pulling out an envelop, the second guy began to walk to the first, stopping when he and the other guy met. "You know, we really don't have to do this."

"Oh come on. What we're doing can get us both killed so we might as well go all out."

Sighing, the second guy removed his hat, revealing a head of spiky hair and a scared face. "Gohan, what are you talking about?"

Dum, dum, dum, mystery solved!

Gohan also removed his hat and stared at Yamcha. "My mom noticed a bunch of the mushrooms were missing. So far she thinks it's the kids from the survival camp but who knows how long she'll think that."

A small bit of fear…make that a sizeable dose of fear…crept onto Yamcha's face. "Chichi's onto us?"

"Not yet, but you and I are gonna have to hold out a bit longer than the usual time. I put in some extra to last you a bit more but take you're time with it."

A relieved look came across Yamcha's face. "Thanks Gohan, you're a pal. I'll pay you back for this."

"Thanks Yamcha. I better be getting back now."

And with that, Gohan took off into the night, heading for that sweet place called a warm bed.

Yamcha watched the young saiyan before opening the case and pulling out one of the contents.

A mushroom.

Ya'll saw that coming, didn't you?

Taking the fungus, the baseball player ate it, closed the case, and took off into the night's sky. It didn't take long after that when the mushroom addict had his first hallucination.

And I have to tell ya, it wasn't pretty.

* * *

'What a beautiful morning,' Gohan thought as he landed on the school roof. As much as he disliked going to school, he absolutely hated waking up at this ungodly hour, though the sunrise was nice. It was like the school administrators were out to get him.

Or were they?

Instead of heading straight to his classroom, Gohan took it upon himself to explore the asylum that was the school building. Hallway after hallway was sickeningly identical. Lockers of the same color (you choose the color, I'm too lazy to think of one right now) lined the halls, abruptly stopping when they ran into a classroom door and miraculously starting again on the other side. Posters of announcements and upcoming school events lined the walls at randomly placed intervals. And no one deny it, you all know what I'm talking about.

And he thought his nightmares were bad.

However, one room differed from all of the rest. Upon enter it; he realized that he wasn't in Kansas anymore. Not that he was there in the first place.

The room that he had just entered was a little known room called the cafeteria. Tables sat in rows and columns as if they were in an army formation. There were two doorways that led into the kitchen, where students would line up and pay for the awful concoctions known as school lunches.

Gohan shuddered. From everything that he had heard about school lunches, he guessed they had to be awful. Almost as awful as Mr. Popo's medical remedies. Now that was a frightening thought. Then something caught his eye.

The wall next to the doorway that Gohan just used was covered with what appeared to be face prints. Yes, you heard me, face prints. It was like someone had slammed someone else's face right into the wall itself (one hundred bucks goes to the person who can guess whose face this is).

Then Gohan noticed a sign that hung over all of the prints. Reading it a couple times to try and understand the meaning of it, all he could gather was that this wall was in honor of one of the students.

On the sign, black letter's proclaimed _The Wall of Sharpner_. Wait a minute.

Were these Sharpner's face prints?

Give this man a cigar.

Upon further investigation, Gohan could conclude that yes, these were face prints of Sharpner. Why these face prints were there was a mystery to the demi-saiyan.

It was starting to creep him out.

The well known facts about the wall, that our hero guy didn't know, was that Sharpner had taken it upon himself to ask Videl out every single day. And every single day, a new face print was added to the wall.

I think you can guess Videl's answer.

Allow me to mention again that Gohan didn't know this, so he did the natural thing for any new student in his position.

He ran as fast as he could to his classroom.

Very fast.

Once he had arrived at his room, he first composed himself and then walked in…

…to find a nearly empty classroom.

Only a few students sat in the room, bored, bored from the fact that they were just waiting to be bored because of school. Hey, you have to prep yourself for boredom nowadays. Taking his seat, Gohan folded his arms on to the desk and laid his head down. Unconsciousness soon overwhelmed him.

It wasn't a half hour later when an annoying buzz was infiltrating Gohan's ears. As Gohan returned to the land of the living, he discovered the buzz was a bunch of teenagers talking and holding newspapers.

Taking a peak at the nearest person, Gohan got a better look at one of the papers, discovering a story about some gold fighter who had stopped a bank robbery yesterday. A picture showed the wreckage of crashed getaway trucks with a banana peel sitting in the middle of the road, going unnoticed.

Odd.

"So, what do you think about this gold fighter Gohan?" the ever hyper Erasa asked.

"Gold fighter? Who's that?"

"Oh you know. He's the newest crime fighter. He's supposed to be a hunk."

Gohan just shook his head. He had no idea what Erasa was talking about. Must be another one of those city things.

Leaning back in his chair, Sharpner decided to lower himself to join the conversation. "Where have you been Mountain boy? Don't you know anything?"

Erasa hit the back of his head with her fist. "Be nice Sharpner. It isn't Gohan's fault if he doesn't know city gossip."

Grumbling, Sharpner didn't retort. He was above such petty people. And he knew these people weren't worth his precious time.

Hold on a second as I try not bust my gut.

That's when Videl entered the classroom and sat in her seat. Upon sitting down, she too was interrogated by Erasa. Did I say interrogated? I meant to say launched into friendly conversation.

Videl's reaction to the questioning was the complete opposite of Gohan's. She wasn't at all too pleased with someone taking over her job. She didn't care who it was, she wasn't going to give that job up anytime soon…except when Gohan had taken her watch. She still didn't know how he did that.

Looking at said person, something caught her eye. The clothes of the supposed gold fighter were the same as Gohan's. Hmmm, she'd have to look into that.

But for right now, she had class to pay attention to, or try to pay attention to. You could never stay awake in any of these classes.

That much she knew.

* * *

To dbzfan952: I guess you didn't know about the side effects of certain mushrooms lol. Some can make you hellucinate, like one of them drugs or whatever. And yes, let your eyes not deceive you as the golden statue has returned with a vengence. Image if Gohan had destroyed it...well...maybe it wouldn't have as much an effect with Chichi around and all.

To mystic warrior: I see I got a chuckle out of you. That's one person down, the rest of the world to go!


	7. The Perfect Superhero Costume

I'd like to give a big thanks to Shadowsole...again. Oh wait, I haven't mentioned her yet in this story. Well, nonetheless, I thank her. That picture you drew was great.

* * *

Flying over the city, our young saiyan couldn't help but notice all of the odd activities that were occurring below him. It seemed that crime was rampant all over the city. He had only flown…three blocks and already saw nine bank robberies, two muggings, and three dogs chasing their tails in the middle of traffic. And all the while, the police didn't seem to be able to do anything to stop it.

Odd.

Very odd.

And as Gohan flew over the city, he couldn't help resist the urge to help these poor, innocent souls; yet, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Sure he could've transformed into super saiyan and maybe call himself the gold fighter or something, but someone already claimed that title. /sigh/ what was a heroic saiyan to do?

And then a brilliant idea popped into his head. Wait, wait, never mind. That idea wouldn't help people. Sure it would fill his stomach but the city would still be victimized by the criminals that festered the city like…like…uhh…oh, I know! Fleas!

And as we all know, a hungry saiyan can't eat his food in peace if he has to scratch himself badly.

O...kay...I have no clue where that came from.

And then another brilliant idea popped into his head. Bulma! She could do something to help this troubled demi-saiyan out! Yep, when in doubt, Bulma can help you out!

Hey, that rhymed!

Altering his course, Gohan flew towards West City…and his destiny…

…thing.

* * *

"So let me get this straight. You want me to make you a costume so you can fight crime in Satan City?" Bulma asked as she eyed the young saiyan before her.

Nodding his head repetitively, Gohan answered "Yes, ma'am."

Smiling, Bulma responded "Sure I'll make you a costume. You're just like your father, always trying to protect people."

Smiling and scratching behind his head, Gohan replied "Thank you Bulma, it means a lot coming from you."

"No problem kiddo, as a matter of fact, I got a costume lying around just waiting for someone to use."

"You mean it? Can I try it on?"

Smiling, Bulma pulled out a shiny, metal wristwatch and tossed it to the saiyan. "Go on, try it out."

Lighting up brighter than Trunks or Goten on Christmas Day, Gohan put the watch on and placed his finger next to the blue button. "The blue one, right?"

"No, it's the red one."

Nodding his head, Gohan pressed the red button. Suddenly, Gohan's clothes changed dramatically. Replacing his clothes, a tight white leotard with a large red bow covered his torso, a blue mini skirt just barely covering his crotch area along with pink boots that reached all the way up to his knees and two long white gloves covering his hands and forearms. Oddly enough, two hair pieces had managed to make two pig tails in the saiyan's hair.

Staring at his reflection, Gohan gulped before saying "Bulma…please tell me this isn't the costume."

Bulma just stared bewildered. So that's where she put that Halloween costume. For the past few years, Bulma had been dressing up as a Sailor scout from this anime called "Sailor Moon." Hadn't thought much of the anime but she did think the uniforms were great, so she made one and then ended up making all five sailor scout outfits.

Initially, she did nothing with them until Goten and Trunks wanted to go trick or treating one year and Vegeta backed out. Grabbing the first thing she could get her hands on, Bulma went with the boys as a sailor scout, becoming very popular with the other fathers out with their kids.

When she came home and went to her bedroom, still in costume, she ran into Vegeta who also like the outfit. Needless to say, she got a very good treat.

And then she began wearing the other uniforms the following years, always getting a very good Halloween in the end.

But now, she couldn't tell if she was going to be using that scout outfit anytime soon.

"Uhh, no, that's not the costume Gohan."

"Okay."

Silence passed.

"Umm, Bulma?"

"…yeah?"

"Why is this costume giving me a wedgie?"

Immediately, Bulma hit the red button, replacing the costume with Gohan's school clothes. She couldn't risk having Gohan find out about her choice in underwear…

"Umm, Bulma?"

"…what is it now?"

"Would you not tell anyone about this?"

"You can count on it…"

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

Silence encompassed them. It was like that for Kami knows how long, and he alone was the only one who knew. Finally, Gohan asked "So what's the other costume like?"

Pulling out another watch, both of them stared at suspiciously. Who knew what thing was inside this one.

Putting the watch on, Gohan pushed the red button and suddenly, everything went dark. Looking in the mirror, Gohan saw a man wearing a black spandex suit and a green gi top. A white belt with a yellow buckle held the bottom of the gi closed. White gloves and boots covered his hands and feet along with a red cape pined on his shoulders to cover his back. To top everything off, a large orange helmet with antennas and a visor was on his head.

"Hey, who's that guy?" Gohan asked as he pointed at the strange figure. Oddly enough, the figure pointed at Gohan in return, perplexing the saiyan. "Hey! Why is he pointing at me?"

"Um, Gohan?" Bulma spoke up. "That's your reflection…"

Gohan just stared at his reflection for a while. Suddenly, something clicked. "Ohhhhhhhh, that's me! Man, I look cool!"

Smiling, though a little disturbed by the blond moment, Bulma said "Glad you like it. Now go show those criminal guys what you're made of!"

Letting out a cheer, Gohan ran out of Bulma's lab, dashing down the corridors and out the doors of Capsule Corp. Moments later, Trunks walked into the lab, questioning. "Mom? Who was that baka in the helmet running down our halls?"

"No one you need to worry about."

"Okay…hey mom? What's in this watch?"

Bulma's eyes grew wide as she whipped around and stared in horror as her son wore the watch with sailor scout outfit.

"TRUNKS!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

* * *

Flying home feeling very good, Gohan smiled. Finally he could help out the citizens of the crime ridden city of Satan! Finally he could right wrongs and fight for justice in a single afternoon! Finally he could eat without someone interrupting him!

Uhhh, I don't think he meant to share that last part.

And as Gohan flew home in his self-righteous stupor, a nagging thought emerged.

Why did that one costume give him a wedgie?

* * *

To dbzfan952: Lol, we all have our moments. Just look at Gohan in this chapter. At least he now has a legit excuse for not knowing the Gold Fighter. And with the creation of a customed weirdo, will our dim-witted saiyan fight for all that righteous banter? Well, we'll see I guess.


	8. The Truth Behind the Restroom Excuse

Something I forgot to do last chapter was the disclaimer for that Sailor Moon gag. So without further ado...

Disclaimer: Me no ownage la Sailor Moon

Well, that was rather painless. Now on to more important things, like getting me a taco.

Seems like this is a general consensus: nobody likes Saiyaman. Well, I have an announcement for you folks. Awhile ago, I had gotten into a writing frenzy and just plain forgot to mention the dude. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing except you won't be seeing Saiyaman flying around for awhile. I might do something with him later but for now, no worries. So be happy.

And before I forget, the following scene is brought to you by LolliBear06. So to show my appreciation, this chapter is dedicated to her. Thanks again for your inspiring ideas.

Also, I've having a bit of trouble on my end for one reason or another, so it's gonna be quite awhile before I update this fic again. Whether it'll be next week or three months, it's gonna take awhile. Sorry if this message ruins your day. If you want to hear more information on this reason development, I'll be putting more information about it at the bottom of the chapter. Sorry again.

* * *

"Alright boys, we got what we came for. Now let's get out of here!" a criminal yelled out to his fellow comrades, a large sack of jewelry being slung onto his back.

Right in the middle of the day, a group of thugs had attacked and were presently robbing a jewelry store.

Not that you couldn't figure that out by now. I just felt like telling you.

The small group raced out of the store and dove into their getaway car, ready to race away from the scene of the crime.

And at this point, a hero is supposed to emerge to stop these evil doers.

The screech of rubber burning on asphalt alerted all to a car just waiting to speed off when the car took off down the street.

Huh? I guess no hero's coming today. Sorry folks.

It was as the car was racing down the street when out of nowhere, a ki blast nailed the car, causing it to explode.

Oh, never mind. I see the hero was going for a fashionably late entrance. Yay, the hero's here! Everyone give him a hand!

As the fire consumed the car, smoke bellowing out of the flames, all of the robbers were sprawled across the street; X's marking their eyes to signify they were knocked out. As a crowd of people began to surround the scene, a loud monologue was cried out.

"The citizens of Satan City fear no more! Evil shall be served justice!"

Looking around for the source of the loud voice, a lone figure appeared. Standing in a tight white leotard with a large red bow on the torso, a blue mini skirt just barely covering the crotch area along with pink boots that reached all the way up to the person's knees and two long white gloves covering their hands and forearms, the figure's spiky black hair and seemingly masculine figure became apparent.

"In the name of the moon, I shall punish you!" the hero cried out once more.

As you can probably tell, most of the people were stunned speechless by the attire of this…person. But as with this fic, the boundaries of weirdness hadn't been completely realized until a couple kids walked up to poke the hero…person with a stick.

Yet, the stick never got to be used as it was originally intended as the hero asked the kids a question. "Hey kids? For some strange reason this costume is giving me a wedgie. Can you help me figure out what's causing it?"

A sudden scream filled the room as Bulma flung herself from her pillow. Sweat was dripping down her face like a river, completely soaking her bed sheets. Breathing hard, the realization the scene of an attempted jewelry robbery was just a dream…make that nightmare…a really freaky nightmare…

She needed to stop watching Sailor Moon.

Looking over to her still sleeping husband, she soon discovered why he wasn't up to comfort her from her recent experience. Little earplugs were in his ears, keeping all sound from entering his head, not that she blamed him. Many a night she had come screaming out the answer to some unsolvable problem to some project she was working on.

But now wasn't the time for Vegeta to be ignoring her. She was gonna wake up the saiyan prince whether he wanted to or not.

Infamous last words.

* * *

_/beep/ /beep/ /beep/_

"Yes, chief?"

"Videl, I'm glad I got a hold of you! Listen, we have a hostage situation at the Monarch Inc. building in downtown Satan City! We really need your help!"

"Don't worry chief. I'm on my way."

It was just shortly after lunch when the young Videl was beeped, capturing the attention of all the teens in the classroom. They had all been struggling over their grammar worksheets that their purely evil english teacher had given them. Everything had been quiet and peaceful until that moment.

Damn police watch.

The call had captured everyone's attention, including the cockroaches on the floor, leaving them to ignore their utmost important worksheets. Everyone except for Gohan that is. He had finished his sheet twenty minutes ago. Damn geniuses, always making me look dumb.

As the not so young saiyan watched the Satan girl run out the door, a feeling of dread spread throughout his body. 'People could be getting hurt right now. I should be helping them, not sitting on my butt, doing nothing! Videl could get hurt too!' he thought overdramatically.

After pondering his very hard pondering stuff, Gohan made up an excuse that would definitely get him out of class.

"Umm, sir? Could I go to the restroom?"

Is that the best he could think of?

The teacher looked up at him and nodded his approval. Smiling, Gohan left the classroom on his way to give his help when something odd happened.

He actually needed to go to the restroom.

'A couple of minutes more wouldn't hurt anybody, right?' Gohan thought, so he made a little detour to the restrooms. Upon entering and positioning himself to relieve his load, a feeling of immense relief flooded his body.

'That…feels….goooooooodddddddddd…'

* * *

Videl stood outside of the Monarch building, disbelief in her eyes. 'This can't be real.'

Before her stood the criminals that she was supposed to beat the crap out of. During the ten minutes it took for her to fly here, the hostage takers had second thoughts and had given themselves up. Something about their wives being in labor or something.

Well, whatever the reason that they gave up, they had officially pissed the Satan girl off. Not only did she waste her time coming here, but she was missing school for a bogus call.

Not that she minded missing school.

The only problem would be that her credibility would diminish. It would sound like she was having someone scaring the police out of their wit so they could call her out of school. That was not what she wanted to happen. It looked like she was heading back to school early.

But before she did that, maybe she could beat up one of the criminals before she left. It wasn't like anyone would care.

* * *

It had been a good half hour and Gohan had a problem.

'It just won't stop!'

Ever since he had entered this Kami forsaken restroom, Gohan had not let up on his…restroom break…for an instant.

Damn he had to go bad.

What was worse, though, was that other boys had walked in to see this sight, freezing up in wonder. How long could this kid go?

Heck, a couple of kids had pulled out their cell phones to record this moment for all of eternity.

It just had to happen this way too. For Gohan, this was the first time he could pee so freely in a public restroom since…that day.

But not just any day…it was _that day._

You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?

(cue flashback music)

It was a lovely day in West City. Gohan had been visiting the Briefs (who else?) and was now exploring the metropolis. During his frequent stops at fast food restaurants (hey look! An oxymoron!) Gohan had soon developed a need to…relieve himself. Upon entering the nearest restroom, Gohan began to unleash the wasteful liquid.

But not for long.

During his…private time…another person had entered the restroom and had occupied the urinal next to Gohan. As the two took care of their business, the newcomer began watching Gohan. Out of the corner of his eye, Gohan noticed the man looking at him. "Umm, sir? What are you doing?"

The man look up to Gohan. Then in a voice that grew higher in pitch with every word, he answered "I am watching you pee!!"

Freaked out, Gohan soon stopped peeing all together, zipped up his fly, and got the hell out of their as fast as he could.

(cue ending flashback music)

Since that day, Gohan had been unable to pee in a public restroom. After much teasing from Goten, Trunks, and even his own mother, Gohan grew to accept that he would never be able to pee in public facilities.

Until today.

'When will it end?!' Gohan thought desperately. He was getting a little uncomfortable about his unexpected audience.

Suddenly, the sound of water hitting water came to an end. Feeling a whole lot better, Gohan zipped up his fly and turned around…

…to come face to face with about fifteen boys, all of whom were stunned at the exhibition.

"Dude, you really had to go."

Gohan chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Uh huh."

Another kid then spoke up. "I think you broke a record dude."

"That's nice…uhh, could you let me through?"

"Sure, guy."

Clearing a way for the demi-saiyan, Gohan was able to walk out of the restroom and headed back to class, completely forgetting about the hostage situation.

When he entered the classroom, the teacher gave him a skeptical look. "And just how long does it take to take a leak, Mr. Son?"

Once again, Gohan chuckled nervously. "Uhh, when you got to go, you got to go?"

"For over an hour?"

"…yes?"

The female teacher glared at him. Dumb female teacher. Not understanding a guy's need to use the restroom...wait a minute, what happened to the guy teacher from earlier? Must've been the next period. "I think you should take your seat now Mr. Son."

Taking the hint, Gohan climbed the stairs to his seat, noticing the looks of his fellow classmates.

"What were you doing Gohan?" asked Erasa.

"I was in the restroom," Gohan answered.

"Sure you were."

* * *

To dbzfan952: Lol, seems like a lot of people were caught with their pants down on that one. And don't worry about Saiyaman. As stated above, writing frenzy, forgot, deal with later. Either that or I'm having a lot of restroom chapters lol.

For those who wish to know about my recent complications that'll be causing such a very long delay, here it is:

APRIL FOOLS


	9. To Vent or Not to Vent

Well, I have to say, I hit that 100 review mark pretty fast. Must be doing something right, what ever that is. Now on to the next goal: the next chapter!

And it has been brought to my attention that my quick summary of Dirty Dancing is not right. Apparently, some girl is thrown into the world of dancing and hates the guy she's with or something like that. What ever that means, I have no clue.

As the school days wore on, the inevitable sense of routine settled in. When ever Videl went out on a police call, Gohan would go to the restroom, peeing to his heart's content and the many viewers that had heard of his exploits. It didn't take long for word of Gohan's record setting bathroom breaks to get spread around the school.

Except for the teacher.

For some reason, no one ever told the faculty of these breaks, so amongst them, a reputation of skipping classes was popularized for the demi-saiyan.

And you thought teachers were smart.

That came to an end one day when one of Gohan's teachers refused to let him go, setting off a chain reaction from the guys who argued on Gohan's behalf.

"Teach, the guy is serious. He has to go to the bathroom," a jock said to the stubborn teacher.

The teacher merely waved that away. It was nonsense for a boy to take a whole hour to pee. "Yeah right. I'll believe that when I see it."

Famous last words.

An evil smirk covered all of the guys' faces, creeping out their girly counterparts. Never before had the guys acted this way.

"Why don't we take a field trip to the bathroom?" one boy asked.

"Yeah, that way we all can have a bathroom break. Then we can get back to work," another boy reasoned. It didn't take long for all of the other boys to join in on persuading the teacher. This surprised her considering that most of the time it was the girls coming up with that reason. Probably because they were smarter than the boys, not that that was proven by science.

Finally, the teacher caved under the pressure. Even if the girls used that excuse, it hadn't worked until this moment. Ha! Who says boys are dumb?

Leading the class into the hallways, the class field trip began, ending shortly at the nearest restroom.

Not allowing the girls to enter the boys' restroom, the teacher stood at the door way with an eye firmly on Gohan's back as he unzipped his pants and began peeing…and peeing…and peeing…

A look of shock overcame the teacher's poker face, along with the girls standing nearby. So those weren't just rumors, Gohan could pee for an hour.

It was about half an hour later when Videl came walking by. She had just gotten back from her bank robbery heroics, from which she was feeling really good about, when she noticed the crowd of girls hanging around the boys' restroom door. Now what were they doing there?

Reaching the back of the mob, Videl could pick up the faint sound of water splashing water. This puzzled the young Satan girl. What could have these girls' attention so completely?

Instead of asking, Videl began looking around the hallway, finding what she was looking for: an air vent. Whistling nonchalantly, Videl walked over to the vent and rather violently ripped the vent covering off. Surprisingly, this went unnoticed as the girls kept watching the spectacle.

Videl crawled into the vent and brought the covering back into place, concealing her damage to school property. Carefully, Videl worked her way to above the boys' restroom, where the sound she heard from earlier had become stronger. Looking in from the covering, Videl gasped at the sight.

True, she had heard the gossip but this was insane! Gohan was actually peeing for an inhuman amount of time (seriously, who didn't see this one coming?). Unfortunately, Gohan's acute hearing caught the gasp.

"Who's there?" Gohan said, looking around.

Videl remained quiet, unsure as to how to respond.

Gohan was looking all around the restroom. He knew that he had heard someone gasp very close to him but he couldn't pinpoint the exact location. He didn't even think to use his ki sensing ability when he didn't find the culprit. And they say he's a genius.

As Gohan kept up his search, the sound of him peeing gradually disappeared. It was a solid minute before Gohan figured out he was done for the day, shook himself, and zipped up. While the boys were a little disappointed that they didn't see Gohan break his own record, they couldn't be more happier since Gohan had single handedly wasted their whole class time. Boy isn't he popular.

As the boys left the room, Videl let go of her breath. That was a close one. It wouldn't look too good on her reputation if she was caught spying on top of the boys' restroom. Now she had a new problem.

She had no idea on how to get out of the vent.

After thinking about it, Videl began her trek out by moving forward in the vent. It was a good fifteen minutes before Videl got out. By following the vent, she found her way to the outside vent covering. Kicking it out of place, Videl lowered herself from the vent before dropping the rest of the way down. Luckily, she had only been in the first floor vent.

"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" a scream rang out.

Immediately jumping into action, Videl ran to the scene of the scream. What she found was the last thing she could've thought of. Seriously, it was.

Before her laid an unconscious Sharpner. Closer to the building from where his body laid, a vent covering was. Looking up the side of the building, Videl could see that one of the vent coverings from the second floor was missing. Now what was Sharpner doing in an air vent?

Well, when Gohan had looked around the restroom, Sharpner had spied Videl's reflection from the mirror as she moved out of sight. Thinking that he could catch Videl off guard, he went in search of an air vent he could enter, going to the second floor. Although he found a vent, obviously he had gone into the wrong one. After getting lost, Sharpner became desperate to get out, opting to use the first vent covering to get loose.

He had chosen wrong.

As anyone could gather with half of that story, not that I'm calling anyone dumb, Sharpner had fallen from the second story, his scream going unnoticed by all except Videl. Looking around to see if anyone was watching, Videl left Sharpner to take care of himself, since everyone knows that Sharpner was the only person capable of taking care of himself.

He wouldn't wake up for another couple of hours.

* * *

To dbzfan952: Congrats on being my 100th reviewer for this. Lol, got ya on the AF joke huh? I guess I fooled quite a few of ya'll. The dream sequence was a really weird thing, that's for sure. Though what was wrong with the record breaking bathroom break?


	10. A Lame Interrogation

Hey everyone. Telling from the reaction to last chapter, not too many of ya'll liked it. I'm just gonna have to fix that, won't I?

* * *

Gohan was confused.

No surprise there.

Err…I mean, why is that?

Apparently, the school, otherwise known as OSH, was in the midst of the biggest school dance of the year.

The Halloween dance.

What this Halloween thing was and why they had a dance for it was beyond the saiyan genius but he wasn't going to tell anyone. Had to keep his naiveté in check; at least for the time being.

"Hey Gohan!" a cheery Erasa called out as she came within yelling distance, "you coming to the dance?"

Slightly startled but nevertheless polite, Gohan answered "Gee, wasn't planning on it. Should I be going?"

Erasa looked at the demi-saiyan like he had grown an extra head' probably had too. "What do you mean you're not going? This is like the biggest dance of the semester! You have to go!"

Sweating nervously, Gohan began to back away. "Well, it sounds fun and all but since I live so far away, it might make things a little troubling to go to it."

Considering his poorly made excuse, Erasa couldn't find any holes, or stab any into it for that matter, and let the young man off. "Well, if you say so. Though it would mean a lot if one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world would come," Erasa said, large puppy dog eyes fixating themselves on Gohan. Hell, Erasa even threw in the quivering lips too.

Gohan could feel his resolve crumbling. He had to, just _had _to get out of this mess. It wasn't like he couldn't go as much as it was not wanting to go. He didn't want to spend anymore time in the presence of these insane teenagers if he had the choice.

And this was one of the few times he had one.

Fortunately, some luck decided to grace our saiyan on this very day as Videl came out of nowhere and smacked Erasa upside the head.

Such a great friend, isn't she?

"You heard the man, Erasa, he can't come. So stop trying to force him to," Videl chided. "If he wants to miss all the fun, then let him. No skin off our backs."

"But Videeeeeeeeeeeeeeel, Gohan's never been to a dance here and I wanted him to at least come to one."

Shaking her head, Videl countered "Gohan said he couldn't make it even if he tried. So go bug someone else to go."

"But who Videl, who? There's not anyone in this dumb school worth begging!"

"There's Sharpner."

"…he doesn't count."

"Who doesn't count?" our ever lovable Sharpner said, entering the conversation.

"No one doesn't count," Erasa said quickly. Even though Sharpner wasn't the greatest guy in the world, he was still her friend in some form or fashion, and she didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Is she high?

"But I thought I heard someone's name being used. Who was it?" Sharpner pressed. He didn't know what was going on but he intended to find out.

Or die trying.

However, with his attention on Erasa, the blond macho man failed to notice the quiet escape of the non blond members of the group. Sneaking around a corner, Gohan and Videl could finally take a breath of fresh air. It was hard having to hold ones breath while trying to make a sneaky getaway.

Turning her attention to Gohan, Videl said "You owe me one Gohan."

Completely baffled, Gohan asked the fateful question "I owe you what?"

"For saving you from Erasa. You and I both know she would've kept begging and begging till you finally caved in."

"Oh…that…well, thanks."

A sudden idea sprung into the Satan girl's head. "You know, I think I know how you can clear your debt up with me right now."

Once again sweating, Gohan asked meekly "How?"

"Well, you could give me some information that I've been wondering about."

"And that information would be?"

Keeping her eyes trained on Gohan, Videl asked "How do you get to school and back to your home? I mean, you have to have some kind of car, right?"

Gohan's sweating began pouring off of him in streams. 'Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. I knew I should've brought the old family car with me. But then, it hasn't been used in seven years…damn, how am I supposed to get out of this one?'

"Well?" Videl said as she crossed her arms in front of her. "I'm waiting."

Once again perplexed, Gohan asked "Waiting for what?"

"Your answer."

"My answer to what?"

"Your answer to my question."

"And your question is?"

"How do you get to and from school?"

"Why do you want to know that?"

"Cause I want to know."

"And you want to know because?"

"Just cause I want to."

In order save you from a major headache, and myself a finger cramp, the questioning back and forth went on like this for a while. Needless to say, Videl was getting very annoyed and Gohan was getting even more lost or at least pretending too.

Wow, this guy is good.

"Will you just answer the question?!" Videl screamed, scaring the crap out of the saiyan. Kami, this girl was scary when mad.

"Umm…uhh…I fly?" Gohan asked more than said.

"Oh? Do you have a jet copter like me?"

"Sort of."

"Well, that's cool. See you around," Videl said before walking off. Gohan was just about to let out his breath that he had somehow been holding the whole time without anyone knowing, including him, when Videl suddenly turned around.

"And how did you get this jet copter of yours?" the ever suspicious Satan girl asked.

"Uhh, a family friend gave it to me."

"And this family friend is?"

"Uhh…a family friend?"

Videl glared. That Son idiocy had apparently infected this Son too, despite his large IQ. It was pointless to even try and wring anymore out of him. True the answer he gave her didn't add up but she was determined to figure out how.

Just like she was determined to get rid of that blasted statue.

* * *

It was that night during dinner that the Halloween dance came up again. This time, however, Chichi was the one to bring it up.

"So Gohan, I got a call from the school about a dance coming up. Will you be attending it?" the Son mother asked, stopping her son's feeding frenzy.

"Wh-why do you want to know?" Gohan asked, frightened.

"Just curious. I just wanted to know if you were going to attend the dance with all of those darling children."

Gohan's eyes narrowed. Chichi was up to something, that much the young saiyan knew. What his mother was up to was beyond him, though. "If I were to say I wasn't, what would you say?"

"I'd ask you why you didn't want to go."

"And I'd answer that I didn't feel like being around those teenagers."

Chichi's voice got a very deadly low tone along with her eyes hardening. "And why doesn't my son want to spend any time with the people he calls friends?"

Gohan started to feel fear run through his body. He knew he was on thin ice here. "Cause…I…don't feel safe around them?" the demi-saiyan asked more than said for the second time that day.

Chichi's eyes soften. "Oh, is that all?"

Seeing he had guess the right answer, Gohan decided to play up his excuse. "Yeah, I just can't help but feel insecure around those people."

And this is supposed to be one of the strongest fighters in the universe?

However, Chichi believed him 100 percent. Hell, if Gohan had said his shoelaces were trying to harm him, she would've believed him. Goes to show how crazy women can get after childbirth…

Yet, this wasn't the end of the dance, not by a long shot. "I've got the perfect solution!" Chichi exclaimed, catching Gohan's attention before he could dive head first into his food.

That poor, starving saiyan.

"Since you don't feel safe with all those people, I will go to the dance as a chaperone. Does that make my son more comfortable?"

Gohan got a look of horror on his face. This was worse thing that could've possibly come out of Son Chichi's mouth. It was worse than the time she ordered him to change Goten's diaper after he had a severe case of diarrhea.

Gohan would never look at macaroni and cheese the same way again.

"Bu-but mom…why can't I not go to the dance?"

"Because you need to associate yourself with more kids your age. This would be the perfect opportunity for you to meet more people."

"But I have to be with these people for most of the day already! Why can't I be by myself for one night?"

Chichi glared at Gohan. "And why would you want to be by yourself, hmmm? Oh no…has my son…become…a delinquent?!"

Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Not this again. The last time Chichi guilt tripped him, he had to baby sit fifty teenagers. He was _not_ going to go through that again.

"Mom, I am not going to the dance."

"Oh yes you will."

"Oh no I'm not."

"Yes you will."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you will."

And so on and so forth, the two Sons argued like this. It took up a whole twenty seconds but it was the longest Gohan had ever lasted in a fight with his mother.

That has to be a record somewhere.

It was at the end of those nineteen seconds that Chichi pulled out the big guns. "Son Gohan, if you don't go to this dance, I'll make sure you live to regret it."

"And how will you make sure I regret it?"

"Simple. Goten?"

Goten looked up from his food, the first time actually listening to either his mother or brother since dinner started. How had that kid managed to block out all that fighting is beyond me. Must be something Chichi puts in her food. It would explain why you just couldn't stop eating it…

"Yes mom?"

"Goten, I want you to eat all of your brother's food…every…single…night…"

Goten and Gohan's eyes widen. Suddenly, Goten let out a cheer, diving into Gohan's left over food. Gohan stared in horror at his mother and then his little brother. This…this couldn't be happening! How could his mother do this to him? After all the things he's done for her and this is how she repays him?!

"Fine! I'll go to the stupid dance." Gohan gave in, all of his resolve utterly destroyed.

Chichi smiled triumphantly. "I knew you'd see things my way."

"Like I have a choice," Gohan mumbled a little too loudly.

/**CLANG/**

* * *

To dbzfan952: You bet Sharpner won't be getting a break from me. Even in a serious fic, he gets bashed by me aka Battle Stain. It's just too good an opportunity to miss.


	11. Chasing the Son

It was a brand new day for our favorite saiyan dude, but it was already a bad one. Having succumbed to his mother for the one thousand seven hundred eighty ninth time, he was already in a dark mood. Throw school into the mix and ya'll might have an idea on how he was feeling.

There was someone in the afterlife that was out to get him, Gohan could swear by it. Whether it was Raditz, Frieza, Cell, or one of the many henchmen that hated his guts, he didn't know, but he at least could narrow it down to that much.

Now which one could it be?

However, the demi-saiyan didn't have much time to ponder this as he was assaulted with the babble of the resident blond.

"Hey Gohan! Changed your mind about the dance?" Erasa yelled out right next to hyper sensitive saiyan hearing, leaving the saiyan in question deaf for all of three seconds before he made the mistake to have her repeat that.

Once again, Erasa repeated herself, maintaining the high frequency of her voice that returned the saiyan back to deafness for four seconds this time. Fortunately for our dying brained saiyan, Videl stepped in before he could ask Erasa to repeat herself.

"Geez Gohan, Erasa's just asking if you changed your mind about the stupid dance."

Letting this process through his mind, the word dance trigger something familiar, souring his mood further. "Yeah I'm going," Gohan said, then mumbled unintelligible "against my will."

Hold the presses. A genius said something unintelligible? Well ain't that an oxymoron.

Surprised, both girls blinked, letting this news settle in their heads, and then blinked some more. Slowly but surely, a light bulb lit up in Videl's head while a lamp lit up in Erasa's.

"You're…going to the dance?" Videl asked unsure. When had this guy changed his mind?

Sighing…loudly…Gohan answered "Yeah, my mom's making me. Said something about meeting people."

Suddenly a loud shriek rendered everyone within the vicinity a headache that even Tylenol couldn't cure. "This is great!" Erasa shrieked. "I can't wait to see what you'll come as!"

Staring blankly, Gohan just slowly nodded his head. He wasn't sure what this blond was babbling about but if he knew women, it was just safe to look stupid and nod his head.

Just like he did with everything else.

"Well, I gotta go now. Need to find out when this thing is," the saiyan said oh so coolly. Anything to get away from these…uhhh…people.

"I can tell you that one cutie!" the blond girl said. "It's tomorrow night, so you need to hurry up with your costume and make up and shoes and..." so on and so forth as the girl continued to name things that I have no idea about.

Meanwhile, Gohan and Videl had tuned her out by the time Erasa had said the word need. Somewhere during the list, the demi-saiyan looked at Videl to make sure she had some kind of attention on her friend before he so stealthily slipped away.

After rounding the nearest corner, Gohan let out a deep breath. Finally something was going his way, if anything had ever gone that way in the first place. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad.

"And where do you think you're sneaking off to?"

Our loveable saiyan froze, his skin turning blue and icicles hanging from his nose…uhh, whoops, didn't mean that literally. Let's back that up.

Our loveable saiyan froze at the sound of the voice. Yeah, that sounds better.

Slowly turning around, the frightened Gohan came face to face with the ever persistent Videl (honestly, who didn't see this coming?).

"Uhhh, I was…going to get a soda?" Gohan tried, hoping against hope and what ever was greater than that that the Satan girl would take the excuse.

Naturally, she didn't. "Is that a fact? Then why is it the soda machines are the opposite direction?"

Damn, why did this girl have to be so smart? It was starting to make his genius brain hurt. So in times like these, the saiyan told the lamest story he possibly could and run down the hall as fast as he could with Videl hot on his trail.

"Well, I thought I was thirsty and turns out I'm really not and class is about to start so I need to get going so bye," the saiyan said before running down the hall as fast as he possibly could, leaving Videl to watch him rushing down the corridor.

Wait for it…

"Hey Gohan! Get back here! I'm not done with you yet!" the daughter of Satan screamed, running after the fleeing saiyan.

Am I good or what?

Repeatedly turning corners, trying to vainly lose his pursuer, passing a still blubbering Erasa as she continued with her list, Gohan was becoming more and more panicked. Why couldn't this devil girl leave him alone? And why was he running around in circles? Did he just pass Erasa again? Why did that bathroom look familiar? What was that smell? Did somebody fart? What's for dinner? Why am I writing a bunch of questions that have absolutely nothing to do with this chase?

Getting back on track, instead of rounding the usual corner, Gohan found himself in a much less crowded hallway. Putting on a bit more speed, the demi-saiyan raced down the corridor; turning around at the end of it and wish he hadn't.

Despite every thing he had down to lose the Satan girl, she was still hot on his tail, screaming her head off. What ever the reason was for her keeping her head on was as mysterious as women themselves.

And you ladies know what I'm talking about.

Turning the corner, Gohan soon came to a stop, his eyes widening.

He was caught in a dead end. Before him a large window let in the rays of the sun into the dull looking building. To his left where two doors that marked girls' and boys' restrooms. To the right was a lonely trashcan that was half full with the trash stuff that trashcans carry.

And that was the only witness to the horrors that would happen to our poor demi-saiyan.

"There's nowhere left to run Gohan…I have you right where I want you," a very low, very victorious voice said from behind him.

Turning around, Gohan saw (surprise, surprise) Videl, standing prideful with her hands on her hips, a smirk on her face.

Oh crap.

Taking a step towards the frightened saiyan, which resulted in said saiyan taking a step back, Videl started her interrogation. "Now Gohan, I have a couple questions that I want to ask you. You can either answer me honestly or not honestly. If you answer truthfully, no harm, no foul; but if you don't answer truthfully, you will feel more pain than you could ever imagine. It's your choice."

All the while, Gohan grew paler and paler. While he had no idea what Videl wanted to know, it didn't sound like it would be good for his health.

Trying to understand what Videl meant by pain, the meek boy asked "More pain than Sharpner?"

"More."

"A frying pan?"

"More."

"A frying pan to Sharpner's face?"

"Even more than that."

If it wasn't for his eyeballs being firmly attached to his head, Gohan would've sworn they would've popped out, roll around on the ground for a bit while he tried to search for them, find them and put them in backwards, wonder why everything looked weird, then put them in right.

Well, that was imaginative.

Suddenly, the boys' bathroom door swung open and out walked an ever pompous Sharpner. Somehow coming up with a last minute idea, Gohan grabbed the blond dude and held him in front of him like a human shield. Hopefully, Videl would react to this nuisance.

Sharpner, on the other hand, didn't know why the saiyan had pulled him in front of him. He would've showed that Mountain Boy a thing or two for even thinking about touching his ever growing greatness and beauty, but fortunately for him, Videl just happened to be right in front of him. Hmmm, could it be that Mountain Boy was claiming that he, Sharper, was Videl's one and only true love like in all of those sappy chick flick thingies that chicks liked watching?

Of course! That could be the only reasonable…reason. Finally Mountain Boy was admitting his inferiorities…wait, what did inferiorities mean?

No matter, that didn't matter right now. At the moment, he had a babe to win over. It was time to use his ever irresistible, what ever that word means, charm to seduce the girl of his and every adolescent boy's wet dream.

"Hey babe, I see you've been looking for me. Well, here I am and ready to burn the place down from our hotness."

This, as you probably can already guess, had the complete 180 degree affect on Videl. Almost immediately (you can time it if you like), Videl's vision went completely red, the only thing her brain telling her to do was eliminate the target known as Sharpner.

Starting her death march, Videl raised her arms, her fingers curling to look like talons.

Sharpner, of course, mistook this for Videl wanting a hug. So he so graciously spread his arms for the bodacious goddess to leap into.

However, the moment her hands clamped down on his neck, our blond dude knew something was wrong.

Damn, it took him that long to figure it out?

What happened next was so violent, so twisted, so gory, so full of censorship violations that I dare not write them down for fear of damaging the minds of all of you young folk.

But if you want to know anyway, go to www. videlmanglingsharpner. com and see it for yourself.

But don't tell anyone that I told you that.

Once Videl had disposed of the corpse that was Sharpner, her rage dying down somewhat; the Satan girl looked around for her original quarry, only finding a broken window instead.

Looking out of the window, Videl saw to her dismay that Gohan was hightailing it off of the campus, a dust cloud rising from dirt being kicked up from his running.

"Gohan! Get back here! You still have to answer my questions! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!" Videl yelled at her fleeing target. Damn it, she had failed again to interrogate that blasted Son. But you could bet fifty to one odds that she wouldn't give up, no siree Bob. That guy was going down like food on a buffet with a fat man attacking it.

She was just gonna have to change tactics was all.

* * *

To dbzfan952: All shall be revealed sooner or later...that is if I remember to reveal them.


	12. Blasphemy: Chichi Defeated

This chapter is dedicated to btstfn. Without you subtly hinting at wanting a PE scene, I finally found the spot to put it in. Hope you like it.

* * *

It was a nice Friday afternoon and Son Gohan was sitting on a wooden bench.

Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

Today was a PE day for the young saiyan and so far, he hadn't had to participate in the almighty game that was football.

Huh? No baseball?

At the present moment, most of the guys were on the field, playing to their heart's content, at least when they weren't riding the pine as Gohan was. The girls had drifted off to a safe location so they could watch as guys tackled each other and other violent stuff.

All except for Videl.

Out of all the girls, Videl had actually wanted to play with the guys, but due to the PE coach refusing to let her play, she accepted the role as coach.

"Come on! You call that a tackle!" the Satan girl shouted as she paced the sideline. Dressed in a plaid suit and a matching hat, Videl was obviously getting too into the game.

Not that you couldn't tell by now.

It was a few short minutes later that Gohan's team had received a punt and was ready to send in the offense when the daughter of Satan stopped them all. "Okay boys, this is what we're gonna do; we're gonna hand the ball off to Gohan and he'll take it to the end zone, got it?"

A couple of the boys grumbled but did as they were told…that was until Gohan tried to talk Videl out of the game plan.

"Uhh, Videl? You think that's such a good idea? I've never played football before," the demi-saiyan said.

"Don't worry so much," the daughter of Satan responded. "All you have to do is wait until someone hands you the ball and you take off running. Simple, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," Gohan said dubiously before heading onto the field. Waiting in the backfield, the saiyan stood there looking pretty stupid until he heard one of the other boys shout out "Hut, hut!"

Instantly, action was everywhere. Some guys were blocking other guys as they tried to get around the blockers. A couple boys ran downfield with someone covering them. Then the ball was handed to the saiyan. Well, he just had to run straight, right?

Taking off, Gohan ran right into the line of blockers and rushers, coming out the other side still standing, and continued running down field.

However, the saiyan would have company soon. As soon as he saw his chief rival burst through the line, Sharpner was preparing to take the Son out of the game permanently. He would take this pansy ass Mountain Boy down and Videl would be all his. With this thought on in that thing he called a head, grinning like a two year old on a sugar rush, Sharpner began his attack.

Yelling a war cry, the blond baka charged the running Son boy, totally focused on taking the boy out.

As you can probably already guess, it didn't happen that way.

As soon as Sharpner had hit the saiyan, he bounced off of him like a bouncy ball, landing on his back painfully. But wait, that's not all! After the blond boy had landed, feet slammed into him as Gohan ran over him.

Ouch…that had to hurt.

It was a few seconds later that the demi-saiyan reached the end zone. Turning around to look at his teammates, Gohan gulped.

Plenty of guys were lying on the ground with various injuries. Broken legs, amputated limbs, blood everywhere, you name it, it was there…well, except maybe Hercule autographs.

Scratching the back of his head, Gohan said "Whoops, I guess I don't know my own strength."

Ehhhh, o…kay.

* * *

Of all of the places Videl had to be right now, under the bleachers in the gymnasium was one of the least likely she had ever thought to find herself.

Well, she can scratch that off her list now.

After losing track of her saiyan prey after the football game, the daughter of Satan had settled in for a long, boring day in school. Unfortunately, due to her _favorite_ hobby of passing notes in class, she had been an unwitting victim to Erasa's Halloween costume shenanigans.

Oh the horror.

And now, she was presently standing under the rotting wooden boards of the outdated gym with three other girls. Who they were, Videl didn't know, but knowing Erasa, she knew them…somehow.

Suddenly a huge metal box crashed onto the ground, sending the other girls into screaming fits. Videl, of course, was too well trained to scream, opting to take a defensive stance in case of an attack; dropping it when she saw Erasa standing behind the box.

"Okay girls, listen up!" Erasa announced. "I have gathered all of you here on something so urgent, so big that even Hercule Satan can't defeat it." This part caught Videl's attention while the other girls looked at attention like some army people. "Here is your mission, if you choose to accept it: in the box before me holds the costumes that we will be wearing for the big Halloween dance, each one guaranteed to make us the most talked about girls in the school. Do you wish to continue?"

As the three unknown girls nodded their heads in apprehension, Videl could only sweatdrop. This was what Erasa said was so important?

She should've known better.

"Great!" Erasa exclaimed before opening the box, a golden light flooding out of it. "These are our costumes. Try them out."

After tossing said costumes to each girl, everyone but the Satan girl dressed themselves in them. Before Videl knew it, Erasa and the yet to be identified girls were wearing different colored uniforms. If she didn't know any better, she would've said they belonged to those annoying girls on that one show…what was it called? Sailor Rock? Sailor Al? No, it was Sailor Monday, that's right.

And I thought Gohan was bad with names.

Before the clueless Satan girl, the Sailor Scout costumes fitted the girls perfectly; very tight and with very short skirts. Yet, if Videl remembered paying any attention to the show, there were five of those super heroes…

And then it hit her.

Hard.

"Oh no, I am not going to some stupid dance dressed as a bimbo," Videl said, taking several steps away.

"Come on Videl. You have to wear it, there's no one else left in the school to wear it. We need you, the Sailor Scouts need you," Erasa pleaded.

"Nuh uh, nope, never, not over my dead body."

"Videl, you are wearing that costume whether you want to or not."

"Make me."

Almost instantly, Videl wished she could take that back. Looking into the eyes of the deranged girls, she saw many things she rarely saw in them: determination, resilience, and a very scary look that almost made the poor girl soil herself.

Acting quickly, Videl took the costume in her hands and tore it apart, reducing the poor piece of clothing to shreds. Ha, now they couldn't force her into that disgusting thing.

Unfortunately, Erasa just reached into the metal box again, revealing an outfit identical to the one she had torn up. "Don't think it's going to be that easy," the blond girl said as she slowly sank into insanity.

A loud scream could be heard for miles.

* * *

"Now Gohan, you'll wear that costume whether you like it or not!" Chichi screeched at almost the top of her lungs.

"But moooooooooooom, teenagers don't wear bunny suits to school dances."

Standing in the middle of the Son living room, the pink monstrosity…I mean, cute, pink bunny suit that Gohan spoke of, was currently surrounding his frame. If he could've died right then and there, he would've gladly.

Talk about being emasculated.

Now normally the youngest Son would be there laughing his head off at the ridiculous apparel, however, the house was quiet. Why you may ask?

Okay, give me a minute…uhhh…oh yeah!

Standing next to the bunny suited Gohan was poor little Goten in his own pink bunny suit, just so he wouldn't have reason to tease his brother about it.

Now you know these two had to be thinking about running away.

"Gohan, you are going to wear that costume and that's final! This is a costume part, right?"

"But mom, do you think that teenagers wear bunny costumes to school functions? They'd tear me apart limb from limb and eat me for breakfast!"

"Oh quit being dramatic."

"Then why don't you wear this thing?"

Chichi let out a loud laugh. "You've got to be joking. I'd look like a fool in that."

"Then if I have to wear this thing, then you have to wear it."

Chichi stopped laughing. A look of fear growing in her eyes. "You wouldn't, would you?"

Gohan began to smirk sinisterly. "Yes I would. If this is the way I go, this is the way you go."

For a moment, one single moment, Son Chichi experienced fear. Never had her son instilled such a horrible feeling in her. And because of that, the Son matriarch relented.

Wait a second, what did I just write?

"Fine, you can wear something else," Chichi said.

Both Son boys looked on in awe of their defeated mother. Did...did she really give up? Could they actually take off these miserable pink body casts and be able to run around in field of flowers and rainbows?

Okay, that was weird.

Slowly stripping themselves of the bunny suits, cautiously I might add, they found themselves standing in their regular house clothes and still not a peep out of Chichi.

"So…can I choose what ever I want to wear to the dance?" Gohan asked hesitantly.

"Yes son," Chichi sighed. "Yes you can."

Gohan and Goten were overcome with shock…again. Could this really be their mother?

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!" the Son woman snapped.

Okay, now they were sure they weren't dreaming. This was the woman they came to know her as…at least they thought she was.

Wow…now that would be a great Twilight Zone moment.

Hurrying out of the room, and running into Gohan's, Goten unleashed a loud cry of victory. "Nii-chan that was so awesome! I can't wait to do that again!"

"Yeah, that was sort of unexpected but whatever. I'm just glad I don't have to wear that stupid costume," Gohan said as he scratched the back of his head.

"Me too. That thing kinda smelled funny."

"I can agree with you there."

"And it itched all over."

"Don't forget that it was pink."

And so on and so forth, both Son boys commented on there extraordinary experience. Though, it was a shame they didn't take a picture of this moment or recorded it on camera so they could always treasure it.

But finally, they both came down to business. What exactly would Son Gohan wear to the Halloween dance? At this precise moment, the sky was the limit until Chichi slammed her cast iron frying pan on it. So what could he wear?

"How about going as a pirate?" Goten suggested.

"No, too kiddy. How about an alien?"

"No, too overused. What about a cowboy?"

"The same as the alien."

And once again they continued this train of thought. Why, you may be asking yourself, have I put two identical (or is it fraternal?) sequences right after the other?

Cause I was lazy.

But let's fast forward to the important part, shall we?

"Hey! Would mom let you go in a gi?"

"You know, that would be worth testing. But which gi?"

"Well, you have the ones Piccolo gave you."

"No, mom hates those. I wouldn't leave the house alive." (or ever again)

"What about dad's gi?"

"That might actually pass. Shall we try it out?"

Needless to say, but I'll say it anyways, Goten agreed and both boys dug around in the endless black hole that is a boy's closet. It took over an hour…okay thirty minutes…to find the right gi and dressed the oldest Son in it.

"Wow Nii-chan, you look just like dad in all those pictures." Goten said with excitement.

"Yeah, I guess I do," Gohan said as he looked himself over. "I think this will just sneak pass mom's inspection."

"But didn't mom say you could choose whatever you wanted?"

"When you've known mom as long as I have, Goten, you know that she means the complete opposite…every single time."

"Oh…so does that mean I still can't go to the dance thingy?"

"If you want to see your eighth birthday, you can bet it means you won't be going."

* * *

To dbzfan952: That's why they came out with the blond stereotype. So people like me could exploit it until there's nothing left to exploit...and then exploit some more.


	13. Halloween Nightmare

I have to give out a warning to all of you readers. My last chapter nearly killed someone due to being under the influence. So to protect others from such a fate: Don't drink and read.

I'd like to once again give my thanks to Mew Rin. Since many folks were wondering about a certain Sailor Scout Uniform, I had to ask her a question or two about the S.S personalities. Now, to show my appreciation, I dedicate this chapter to her. Thanks again.

* * *

This was it. This was what a whole teenager's life revolved around.

Or something close to it.

After waiting only two months from the beginning of school, tonight was the night of the Halloween dance, the first of many school gathering thingies that would occur throughout the year.

And they say I have no life.

For girls, it usually was a time to see who could out dress who and so on and so forth. Kinda like how they liked to draw on marker boards (you girls know exactly what I'm talking about).

For the guys, it was usually a way to check out how slutty the girls could get in their costumes, assuming the teachers or chaperones didn't catch them at the door of course. Many a dance was covered from drool from the constant show of young female bodies.

And now I'm making myself drool.

For Son Gohan though, it was a chance to mingle with the people he had barely met throughout the school year. Now if he had the choice, he wouldn't have even bothered with the whole thing. However, when your mother was Son Chichi, you didn't argue with her too long…if ever…

Dressed in the colors of his long dead father, the saiyan was getting very nervous. This would be his first time going to one of these school socials…and if he had it his way, it would be the last.

Unfortunately, if the woman next to him had any say about it, it would be far from the last one he would attend. Unless something so catastrophic occurred, the demi-saiyan knew he was going to have to keep coming to these things.

Oh the inhumanity.

Looking to his one of the many parent chaperones, Gohan had to say, he had never seen his mom look this way before. Wearing a pink button down shirt and white pants, Chichi looked almost like a city woman.

"So this is what your school looks like huh?" the Son matriarch said, giving the building the once over.

"Yeah mom, this is it," Gohan replied.

"And where exactly is this party supposed to be?"

"In the gymnasium."

"Well let's go honey. Time to go mingle with the normal people."

"But I don't like the normal people."

Uh oh, that was the wrong thing to say.

"Son Gohan, you will make some new friends, even if it kills you!" the banshee woman screeched.

Though rendered deaf for the eighty seventh time, the young saiyan recovered his hearing yet again, and gave the smartest, most intelligent reply he could possibly give.

"Okay."

Wow, that was soooooo intelligent.

Positive that she had her son firmly under thumb, like she always did, Chichi led the defeated Son to the gymnasium, getting lost a couple times along the way, though she'd never admit to it.

Finally arriving, both Sons couldn't believe what they were seeing. Black, orange, and white decorations hung from the rafters as flimsy skeletons, ghosts, and witches hung from strings. Tables had been so graciously set on one end of the room with cookies, cakes, punch, and other such snacks (all healthy of course. Can't let those government people know I'm feeding kids fattening stuff). White table cloths with black and orange confetti and other decorations covered the tables. A little further from the snack tables, several tables with similar décor was set up so students could sit down when not mingling or dancing or what ever teens do at dances.

Consuming most of the gym was a large dance arena, so the kids could dance without injuring others with their weird ways of dancing. A whole DJ setup was in the corner, blearing music through strategically placed speakers. All and all a good set up.

Then there was everybody else. People dressed in all sorts of creepy costumes, along with other revealing costumes, covered the students. Oblivious to the two recently arrived Sons, they chatted, danced, and once again did what teens do.

So original, ain't I?

Yet one thing seemed to bug the two Sons, more than anything. If their eyes weren't deceiving them, some of the guys had dressed themselves as Hercule Satan…

Chichi and Gohan blinked a bit before looking at each other, then looked back again.

Nope, their eyes weren't deceiving them, there were bakas…I mean, mentally challenged students dressing like Hercule Satan.

Oh dear Kami, what have I done?!

"Well, should've expected this," Chichi muttered. Once again, she was dumbstruck as to why so many people worshipped the clown. She must've been getting old or—

…I think I won't go any further than that.

"Well, I guess I should go get in there," Gohan said, completely unsure if he would survive the scene before him.

"You do that sweety. Have…fun…" Chichi responded, still stuck on the fact that people would willingly dress up like Hercule.

Kinda ran that joke into the ground, haven't I?

Thus our hero ventured into the mosh pit of students. Will he survive or will he fall to the masses filling this room of ghosts, goblins, and Hercule Satans?

Beats the hell out of me.

* * *

"I'm bored," an obviously bored Goten said.

Lying in the middle of a disaster filled room that belonged to a boy named Trunks Briefs; the two little chibis wondered the mysteries of life and such.

"Hey Goten, did you fart?"

Oooookay, maybe they weren't thinking that deep.

"No, not yet, but I do feel one on its way."

"Nice Goten, nice. Maybe next time you won't tell me that."

"Sure, that sounds good."

If Trunks could've slapped himself in the head he would've. Considering that he was just too lazy at the moment, he refrained from doing so. After doing everything conceivable in half an hour, they had been laying about for the next ten seconds wondering what they should do.

Wow that sounds so familiar. Kinda reminds me of…never mind.

"Remind me again why you're here," Trunks said for lack of anything better.

"My mom was making Nii-chan go to some school dance and mom didn't want me to go. I think she said I'd scare people or something."

Curious, Trunks asked "And why did she make your brother go?"

"Something about meeting people."

"That sounds hypocritical."

Some silence passed.

"Hey Trunks?"

"Yeah?"

"What's hippocratical?"

This time, because he managed to gather enough energy to do so, Trunks slapped himself on the forehead. "Not hippocratical, _hypocritical_. Didn't your mom teach you that?"

"Nope."

"Well it means that…that…uhhh, why don't we go ask her?"

"Yeah, mom will know what hippocratical means."

"Hypocritical."

"Yeah, that's what I said, hippocratical."

"Goten, shut up. You're giving me a migraine."

After waiting a bit for the chibi sized migraine to go away, both demi-saiyans were on their way to find Chichi. Their mission: find out what hippocratical…I mean, hypocritical means.

Damn, I'm getting too old for this.

* * *

Amazingly enough, Gohan was surviving the masses that he called his peers. It was nothing short of a miracle. Yeah, he wasn't talking much, but people weren't giving him a hard time on his costume. Most of the guys kinda shied away when they saw the muscles he was packing. Of course, there were the guys that already knew about them and were already jealous. Jealous of what you may ask?

Well, if you read Survival of the Lamest, you should know why. And if you haven't…

Well, uhhh…umm…don't know what to say about that.

But anyways, those guys were jealous or getting jealous or dating jealous, whichever suits your fancy. On the other side of the spectrum, you had the girls.

Needless to say, they weren't going anywhere outside a twenty yard radius of him. From the moment each girl caught a glimpse of the demi-saiyan, drool had been dripping onto the gym floor. If it hadn't been for an oddly placed janitor mopping it away, there probably would've been a rising sea level.

And they say global warming is dangerous.

Of course, our naïve saiyan didn't notice any of this. And why should he? He only lived underneath a rock for most of his life…okay, that wasn't a nice thing to say.

However, the moment of peacefulness ended when a group of slutty policewomen and nurses approached, walking as if they didn't have a care in the world; yet their eyes were firmly trained on the saiyan.

Cue massive nosebleed.

Fortunately for Gohan, and unfortunately for the girls, the saiyan somehow remembered a similar tactic back when he had the survival camp…

'Oh Kami, not again. _Fangirls._'

Immediately making an about face, Gohan worked his way through the crowd, trying to put as much distance between him and the group of approaching girls.

And then all of the cosmos worked against him as he ran right into…you guessed it…Videl Satan.

Though she would have normally been the last person he wanted to run into; if he remembered right, Videl had an uncanny ability to make other girls cry and runaway. Maybe he could use that to his advantage.

Approaching the Satan girl, who was dressed in a green Sailor Scout outfit, Gohan greeted her. "Hey Videl."

Now, before I go any further, the author feels like he needs to fill all of you attentive readers out there. As you remember, out lovely Satan girl was attacked by four crazed Sailor Scout wearing girls. After much struggle, a couple of bloody lips, and a couple broken fingers, the girls had succeeded where no other person had.

They had gotten Videl Satan to wear something girly.

And now, standing in the middle of the gym in her white torso, pink bow, and green skirt Sailor Scout costume, her hair in a ponytail to fit the character description of one Sailor Jupiter, the daughter of Satan was receiving many a look; ranging from disbelief to lustful obsession. I'll leave you people to guess who was looking which way. But that was all quickly forgotten when someone had grown some cajoles and greeted her.

Jerking herself around, Videl saw the very person she had been hunting for. Yet, it puzzled her as to why he would come to her so willingly.

That was until she saw the crowd of slutty fangirls did she understand.

So subtly that it appeared obvious, Gohan moved around the daughter of Satan, putting her between him and the girls. "So when did you get here?"

"Just arrived," Videl answered. However, before she could say another word, one of the fangirls coughed.

Hoarsely I might add.

"Honey, you need a lemon drop," one of the nurses said to the leading police girl. Reaching into her bosom, the nurse retrieved a bag of said drops and handed one to her. Once relishing in the soothing effects of the drop, the police girl started her…investigation. "Hey Videl, hey Gohan, what's up with you two?"

Though not happy at the sight of the girl, Videl answered with a "Fine," while Gohan said "I'm good."

So original.

Then, blatantly ignoring the Satan girl, the police girl began her talk with her initial target. "So Gohan, would you like to—"

And that was as far as she got as Videl came to an early rescue. "Sorry Cop lady, but Gohan had already asked me to dance so we're going to get our groove on. See ya." And with that, Videl grabbed the saiyan's hand and drug him to the dance floor, the looks of several heartbroken fangirls left behind to whither and die.

"Gee, thanks Videl. You helped me out of that one," Gohan said, his appreciation evident.

However, he didn't see the girl's sinister grin due to him being behind her. This was an excellent opportunity to interrogate her prey. With him completely at her mercy, she could do what ever she wanted with him.

However, someone did see that grin and completely mistook it for something else. Watching from a distance, seething with fury, one of the Hercule costumed jocks was going overload with his brain. How dare that Mountain Boy take what was rightfully his…again? He was gonna have to put him back in his place like he did the last time. (My U.S. Senator Blutarsky poster goes to who ever can guess who this…and if you don't try to get this great prize, then you're a communist)

Shaking in his ratty black boots, Sharpner could feel his fro almost falling off. Quickly, he rearranged it so it was back in the perfect place. Somehow, someway that cooled him off. Now he was thinking straight…or as straight as Sharpner could think. He'd just have to show his stuff again; prove he was worthy of Videl's affection.

And he would too. Just as he was sure that orange juice was made from the color orange.

And despite all of this action, nobody could detect the approach of two little power levels.

Oh what chaos will I…uhh…will they rain down upon those poor sapless kids?

* * *

To dbzfan952: Hey, you have some pretty good intuition there. Or maybe you can read my mind...wait, can you read it?


	14. The Cavalry is on the Way

"Vegeta!" a frantic Bulma cried out.

There was no answer.

"Vegeta!" Bulma cried out again.

Once again, there was no answer.

"Vegeta!" Bulma cried out yet again.

Yep, you guessed it, no answer.

"Vegeta!" Bulma cried out another time.

"Damn it woman, what do you want?!" an irritated Vegeta answered, walking into the room with the hysterical Bulma.

"I can't find Trunks or Goten. I've looked for them everywhere!" Bulma cried out, still going crazy.

Vegeta looked around the room to see the vain struggle of his woman. Every piece of furniture was over turned, from couches to tables. Not a single spot was covered in something that wasn't the floor.

And they say guys live like pigs.

"Woman, calm down. I'll just search for them by locating their ki," Vegeta said, oddly kind.

Bulma's eyes widen as tears seemed to build up in them. "You mean it?"

"Of course I mean it. Now just let me do my work."

Using the mystical ki sensing abilities, Vegeta searched the house for the trouble makers' ki signals, finding none. Okay, nothing to go crazy about yet, let's just check the city. Doing a once over there and the Prince of all Saiyans was surprised. Neither of the boys' kis were within the city.

This time, the saiyan checked the whole globe and pinpointed the chibis. Well, at least he found them. Now let's see where that would be precisely.

"Woman, tell me what would be about a few hundred miles to the East."

"Uhh, I think that would be Satan City."

"Well, the brats headed off that way."

Silence passed.

"WHAT?!"

"WOMAN! DON'T SCREAM SO LOUD!!"

For once, Bulma ignored that remark. If her genius brain knew anything, the chibis were heading right for that school dance that Gohan and Chichi were at…

"Oh dear Kami…they're heading right for Chichi and Gohan."

"What? The banshee woman? Let her take care of the brats. No skin off our backs."

"You don't understand, Chichi didn't want either of them to show up. It would be disastrous if she caught them there. And you know who she's gonna blame for this."

"Kakarot's oldest?"

"No, try again."

"Cueball?"

"Wrong answer."

"Green Bean?"

"Strike three Veggie, you're out," Bulma said as she giggled.

Giggling from what, I have no clue.

"Just tell me woman," Vegeta said, returning to his irritated state.

"She's gonna blame us and most likely bash our brains in with that frying pan of hers."

The whole room darkened; lighting flashed as thunder erupted; volcanoes blew their tops simultaneously; an elephant suffocated on a peanut.

"Woman, I'm going to get the brats. You wait here," Vegeta said, turning around and heading towards the front door.

"Oh no, mister, I'm not letting you go look for them again. Have you forgotten that city you destroyed the last time you went looking for them?" Bulma said, following the saiyan prince.

Vegeta couldn't help but grin at that precious memory. He had managed to corner those demon spawn and tried taking them out with a huge ki blast. Obviously, he missed and blew up a neighboring city that just had the unfortunate luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Fine woman, but we travel my way. None of those slow contraptions of yours."

"Okay, okay," Bulma said. They really didn't have time to bicker about something that trivial. However, something popped into the brilliant mind of the scientist. "If I remember right, this is a costume party."

"What's your point?"

"Well, if we're going to this thing, we might as well dress up."

"Woman, we don't have time for that!" Vegeta shouted. As much as he wanted to hide his fear, the ultimate power of the banshee woman's frying pan scared the crap out of him.

Rumor has it that he wets the bed many a night because of it…but don't tell anyone.

Pulling out a couple watches, Bulma placed one on Vegeta's wrist and one on hers. Activating hers, the familiar sight of a Sailor Scout uniform covered her body, making her husband stop in his tracks as he eyed her hungrily.

(Insert hot Vegeta/Bulma sex scene)

After recovering themselves, both Briefs were on their way to OSH, ready to stealthily sneak in and remove the uninvited guests.

May Kami have mercy on their souls.

* * *

'Kami, what have I gotten myself into?' was Gohan's first thought.

When he had heard Videl say they were going to dance, the demi-saiyan had just thought that was an excuse to get them away from those slutty looking fangirls. However, when they arrived at the scene of the dance floor, he knew something was up.

Oy, and they say I'm slow.

Right now, his present problem was how to dance. True, Chichi had taught him how to do some of the traditional forms of dance, but those weren't the popular thing nowadays. Watching all the other students doing things he had never seen before was scaring the saiyan. This wasn't going to be pretty.

"Come on Gohan, lets start dancing," Videl ordered, smirking sinisterly; though Gohan missed the sinisterly part.

"Well, I…uhh…you sure about this?" Gohan asked, trying to stall his future embarrassment.

"Of course I'm sure; what are you? Chicken?" the Satan girl challenged.

"Umm, well you see, I'm not quite sure how you dance like all of these other people," Gohan said, hoping against hope that excuse would weasel him out of this.

And if any of you people know girls, you know that's never gonna happen.

"It's quite simple Gohan, just move with the beat. It'll come naturally to you."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's just like martial arts, just with music."

Gohan perked at that. "Martial arts?"

"Yeah and since you're dancing with me, it'll be like a match," Videl said, seeing her persuasive skills were working.

"Alright then, this should be easy."

The next thing Videl knew, she saw her "dance partner" swinging his fist at her, oddly enough in time with the music. Somehow, someway, the Satan girl blocked the punch, also in time with the music. The next thing she knew, punches and kicks were being thrown at her as she blocked them, completely in synch with the music.

What the hell was going on?

At that moment, the Son boy was having the time of his life. Boy dancing was easy. Why had he ever thought it would've been much harder?

Videl, however, was starting to become a little peeved. How dare this guy start a fight with her in the middle of the dance floor? She was just gonna have to kick his scrawny…uhhh, well built ass…okay that didn't sound right…umm, ah what's the point? She was gonna kick this guy's ass from here to the moon.

After blocking the saiyan's next punch, the daughter of Satan retaliated, launching a barrage of her own punches and kicks, which of course Gohan block. Soon, both fighters were blocking, parrying, punching, kicking, and dodging their opponent's attacks. Moving all over the dance floor, they "danced" around other dancers, between couples, sometimes on top of dancers, and other times under them.

How they did that you ask?

Not even Kami knows how they did that.

But there was one thing that was certain. People had no idea the two were fighting rather than dancing. They all stood mesmerized at the spectacle, always thinking that this had to be some of the best dance moves they had ever seen.

Good God these people are idiots.

But like all good things, it had to come to an end. Turning to a grappling move, Gohan wrapped his arms around Videl, pinning her arms to her side in a bear hug. Not deterred by this position, the Satan girl jumped off the ground and wrapped her legs around the saiyan's waist, squeezing her legs together and hoping she could force the air out of his lungs.

This, however, didn't look right to the unsuspecting audience. Where these two had gotten the balls to get into this scandalous pose was beyond them. When neither partner continued to move and the music came to a close, someone started a slow clap.

And if you watched any of those cheesy teen movies, a slow clap usually becomes a loud, roaring ovation.

And this fic is no exception.

The applause, obviously for you slower people, caught Videl and Gohan off guard; causing them to look around and see their audience clapping. For what, they didn't know.

And then Videl realized the position she was in. Now at the present moment, she could start screaming her head off to be put down immediately or ask nicely to be put on her feet.

Oddly enough, she chose the second option.

Has the world not ended yet?

"Uhh, Gohan? Could you put me down now?"

Looking down at the girl in his arms, the saiyan nodded his head and slowly lowered Videl down until her feet touched the floor, releasing his grip on her. Now all he had to figure out what all the clapping was for.

It was then that he started hearing the crowd shouting things. Stuff along the lines of "Nice dancing," to "Can you teach me those moves?" to "Dude, can you get a hot girl to spread her legs as easily as that for me?" were said all over the place.

Once he began to comprehend what was being said, a blush some started covering his face, the same reaction happening to Videl. Turning to look at each other, Videl started off "Uhh, maybe we should get off the dance floor."

Nodding a bit quickly, Gohan replied "Yeah that sounds good. I'll get us some punch."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll just wait over there," Videl responded, pointing her finger in some random direction that I really have no idea where it is. And just to distract you readers from my momentary block of creativity, I'll just continue the scene with Videl heading to that spot that I have no idea where it is and Gohan going to get a couple of cups of punch.

Whew, that was a mouthful.

Meanwhile, a bathroom door opened to reveal Son Chichi, zipping up her pants and running right into the pack of a crowd. Sometime before the infamous dance sequences that I so blandly wrote about, the Son mother conveniently had the urge to release her bowels, doing so in the girl's restroom.

Or was it the boy's?

Anyways, she was just coming out after leaving her load when she came to the crowd right outside the bathroom door. Curious, she asked "Hey, what's with the crowd?"

A helpful young man answered her. "There was this couple on the dance floor that just burned it up. You missed a good show."

Sighing, Chichi just said "Oh well, I'll just have to wait before something else happens." Turning in a different direction, the woman headed off to continue her chaperone duties.

At the moment, two little kids appeared, looking around at the mass of people in costume. "Hey Trunks? Why are all these people dressed up like weirdoes?" Goten asked, staring puzzled at all the getups.

Trunks sweatdropped. "That should be obvious Goten, even to you. This is a Halloween party. People are supposed to dress up like weirdoes. But since they're all dressed up like that, we need something too."

"Huh? We need costumes? Where are we gonna get those?"

"Don't worry about it. I have a plan that'll guarantee we get in."

"Man Trunks, you are so smart."

"Of course I am, it does run in the family you know."

"What does?"

"What does what?"

"I don't know, you just said something complicated."

"Huh?"

"Did you say something?"

Ugh, I'm giving myself a migraine.

And for the sake of saving you all the same fate, I'll just briefly say that they continued in this vein for awhile, not knowing what the other was talking about.

And what was it they were talking about?

* * *

Waiting in line for a shot at the punch bowl, Gohan heard the weirdest thing he had ever heard; and considering all the things he had gone through, that was saying something.

All around the saiyan, boys were making comments about some woman, not a girl in their school but a woman that was "a MILF."

Confusion and curiosity dominating his face, Gohan nudged his elbow into one of the guys whispering the mysterious MILF word, gaining his attention. Slightly embarrassed at his lack of knowledge of the teenager vocabulary, he asked, "Could you tell me what MILF means?"

"Dude, you don't know what MILF means?" the ghost dressed teen replied.

"No I don't, so could you tell me what it is?" the teen saiyan responded, his face becoming red from embarrassment.

"Well young one, you came to the right place," the teen said, grinning. "It stands for 'Mom I'd Like to…'"

And the teen stopped, seeing the glare of a chaperone telling him to not say the next word.

Of course, Gohan just couldn't have him stop. He had to know what that F stood for. "Liked to what? Mom I'd like to what?"

Coughing ever so loudly, the ghost boy said "Just think dude, what could that F stand for?"

"Well, I don't know, can't you tell me?"

Now unbeknownst to the saiyan, he had put the teen into a very awkward position. Looking around for anything that could help him, he suddenly spotted the MILF all the guys were talking about. Grabbing the oblivious boy, he pointed him towards the walking MILF. "That, my friend, is a MILF."

Gohan blinked.

Then he blinked again.

That was a MILF?

Staring at the woman, the only person he could see that would be considered a mom was his very own mother.

Son Chichi.

"Uhh, what do you want to do with my mom?" Gohan asked, still clueless.

However, the boy didn't respond, completely shocked. This guy was living with a certified MILF and he didn't know? Kami, who was this guy?

I think we all know the answer to that.


	15. Joint Forces of the Saiyan Kind

Who ever said being a teenager was easy needed to have their head examine or at least be put in a psych ward. This was one of the many thoughts that passed through our beloved Gohan's head.

After leaving his "friend" with the MILF fetish, the demi-saiyan had picked up a couple cups of punch and was currently working his way through the crowd to deliver one of the beverages to a girl known as Videl.

Now where had that girl wondered off to?

Looking around for the vertically challenged girl, Gohan was slowly losing patience. Where could that girl possibly be hiding? It wasn't like he smelled bad or anything…wait a sec, did he smell? Lowering his head down, he took a quick sniff and determined that no, he did not stink…badly…or at all…whichever you choose.

Looking around again, Gohan soon spotted a rather attractive woman in a very short skirt. Oddly enough, he could've sworn he had seen such a skirt before, along with the rest of the costume. Where he had seen it was starting to bug him, kinda like that one thing you know you know but don't know.

Did that make any sense?

As he looked at the girl, the saiyan soon took notice of a guy standing next to her, looking like a pizza delivery boy. Snorting, Gohan almost lost himself at the thought of Vegeta running into the kid, settling for a grin instead. Although it was someone in costume, he really doubt that the Saiyan Prince could tell the difference.

Suddenly, the pizza guy turned around, giving Gohan a good look at his face; the face causing the demi-saiyan to completely drop his grin. Of all the people he had expected to see, this was the last one, and I do mean the absolute, positively last one.

Did I mention that this was the last one he had expected?

Standing there, in the glory that was reserved for college students delivering pizza, was Vegeta, the sworn enemy of all pizza delivery boys.

Oh such sweet irony.

Fortunately for our flabbergasted hero, the almighty prince had yet to notice him, seemingly disgusted with his attire. Gohan soon closed the gap between the two and asked "Vegeta, what are you doing here?"

Well, so much for not getting noticed.

Immediately, Vegeta jerked his head to look at the lowly third class saiyan. "Well if it isn't the son of Kakarot. Long time no see."

"Yeah, long time. Umm, could you tell me why you're here and dressed up like a pizza delivery boy?"

The saiyan prince's eyes narrowed. "If I were you, I wouldn't tell anybody about this, do you understand me?"

"About what?"

"Me dressed as one of these lowly humans, particularly the delivery boy."

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say. You still didn't tell me why you're here though."

"The two demon brats got loose and we thought they came here."

Gohan paled. The demon brats were here…uhh, I mean, Trunks and Goten were here. This was bad.

Very bad.

Very, very bad.

In case you couldn't tell, this was very bad.

Did I tell you that this was bad? (And I think I ran that into the ground)

And then something else popped up magically in the boy's fear ridden saiyan brain. Vegeta had mentioned a "we"…

Right then and there it hit him, just like a normal person would wake up at three a clock in the morning with the name, address, phone number, and social security number of the thing they couldn't remember before. No wonder that skirt had looked familiar.

It belonged to Bulma…

And he had worn it…

And then another thought popped up.

Was that thing giving her a wedgie too?

Before Gohan could have that question answered though, Bulma had turned around and spotted him, a mixture of worry, relief, and some other feelings clouding her face. "Gohan, I'm glad to see you here. Listen we have an emergency—"

"Hey Bulma? Is that thing giving you a wedgie too?" the saiyan interrupted.

A confused look came about the blue headed woman's face, along with one on Vegeta's. What was he talking about a wedgie for? The only way that thing could have given him a wedgie was if he had put it on…

And then (I've been using that a lot lately, haven't I?) Bulma's face grew bright red. Now she remembered what that wedgie thing was about. "Uhh, Gohan, this isn't the place to be—"

This time, she was interrupted by her headstrong husband. "What are you talking about? What is this wedgie you speak of and how does that skirt give you one?"

Becoming even redder, Bulma said "Drop it."

Of course, Gohan ignored her, despite that action putting his health at risk. "Well you see, there was this thing that went up your—"

"I SAID DROP IT!!" Bulma shrieked, gaining the attention of everyone and everything in the vicinity.

Backing down like the cowards…I mean, smart guys that they were, Gohan and Vegeta wisely stopped that train of thought.

And who says men can't learn new tricks?

After waiting awhile, in case Bulma would jump at them and rip their heads off, Gohan finally said "I hear you lost the demon brats."

Fortunately, that brought the self proclaimed genius back to reality. "Yeah, somehow they snuck away and we thought we'd try and grab them before Chichi found them. Who knows what tortures she'd do to me."

"Hey, what about me?" Vegeta said.

"Who cares about you, I'm looking after my own hide."

"…Traitor."

"What did you call me?!"

Foolishly, Gohan put an end to the squabble before it could pick up momentum. "Hey, I'll help you guys find them. I'll spike my ki when I have them and you do the same if you get to them first, got it?"

Both Briefs (yes, even Vegeta) looked grateful. Gohan soon took off, trying to find the little chibis before his mother saw them.

What a party this was becoming.

* * *

Videl was becoming cranky.

As if she wasn't anything but cranky…uhh, lets start that again.

Videl was becoming cranky. Why you may ask yourself.

Because she hadn't seen hide nor hair of the Son boy.

Yeah, he said he was getting them something to drink and she had waited patiently for a good amount of time, even adding a few more minutes just in case. But now, it was becoming ridiculous. She was gonna find that boy if it was the last thing she'd do.

Though she did have plans to do other things with her life as well, just so you know.

Unfortunately, she didn't get too far. As the Satan girl began to go on the prowl, an unwanted arm snaked itself around her shoulders.

"What's a hot girl like you doing in a place like this?"

'That better not be Sharpner, that better not be Sharpner,' Videl chanted in her head as she turned to see who would dare touch her like this.

As you probably guessed, it was Sharpner.

"So Videl, I saw you dancing with Mountain Boy earlier," Sharpner began.

"Don't say another word Sharpner," Videl growled, not in the mood to mess with the self proclaimed playboy.

"Hey, calm down, I was just gonna ask if you wanted to dance like you did earlier, just with a much better dancer," Sharpner said, hoping to defuse and win over the simmering Satan.

Of course, a big fat "Hell no" would have been flying out of Videl's mouth, but an idea popped up. Maybe she could use that to her advantage and possibly have some fun. "Sure, let's dance."

Looking as if he had one the lottery, hit the jackpot on a slot machine, and got to fire a dozen fireworks on the Fourth of July, Sharpner, in case you couldn't tell, was jubilant. Finally the Satan babe was warming up to him.

"Just one thing, I rather not go onto the dance floor so would you mind if we 'danced' here?" Videl asked, putting on a not quite so innocent face.

"Sure babe, what ever you want," was the doomed man's reply.

"Good."

Suddenly, Videl's fist imbedded itself into the Sharpenator's face, followed by a few more in his gut and other places on his body.

"Come on Sharpner! Dance with me!" Videl shouted slamming the heel of her foot onto his foot, causing the blond boy to give out a cry of pain, which was silenced by an uppercut to his chin.

When the current song that was blaring through the speakers came to an end, Videl was walking from a crippled Sharpner, his broken body forced into the confines of a trashcan.

Well, if that isn't a work of art, I don't know what is.

Now Videl had to get back to her more immediate problem: finding the Son boy that had so easily jilted her, just like in that BS story where he had left her on a hillside to go kill people…oh wait, wrong story.

Wait a second, what BS story?

Shaking her head of that weird and very unorthodox thought, Videl began to hunt for her prey, the one that got away.

Hey that rhymed!

* * *

Just as a note to all of ya'll, that BS story I make reference to is another story I wrote called Battle Stain. Those who read it already know what went down in that one but just for all the ones that didn't read it, that's what that means.

To dbzfan952: Oh well, no hard feelings. Things like that happen everyday. I'm just glad you're enjoying the fic and all.


	16. Violence is Always an Option

'It couldn't be.'

That my friends was the first, last, and only thought that went through Videl Satan's head.

Now what in the world could be troubling this little girl?

Well, if you remember from the last chapter, our little Satan girl was out on the prowl of a one Son Gohan, wondering what was keeping him away from her. And if you don't remember what that was, go back and read the chapter again; it's just a click away.

However, as she was in the middle of her hunt, Videl had run into something she had sworn to destroy but had yet to do so.

Yep, you guessed it; the Golden Hercule statue was here.

Standing in all of its crumpled and smiling glory, her golden father looked down on everyone as they did their thing; kinda like in real life.

At that moment, a teacher was passing the daughter of Satan, but unfortunately for him, he was within grabbing distance. Suddenly finding himself in the grasp of the black haired girl, the teacher was starting to sweat bullets when he saw that murderous look on her face.

Uh oh, somebody is gonna die tonight…

Talking through clenched teeth, Videl said, "Tell me…what is that thing doing here?"

Gulping, the teacher replied "Y-y-your father donated it for the night. Said he wanted to give the kids something to look up to."

If Videl wasn't mad by now, then she was on the verge of committing the next school shooting. Tossing the poor man aside…more like throwing him across the gym and into a wall…the daughter of Satan felt her fingers flexing. She knew what she had to do and now was the perfect time to do it.

That statue was going down like a Twinkie; and Videl loved herself a good Twinkie.

Slowly raising her arms, the sailor scout dressed Satan was on the war path to destroy the statue once again, and once again was stopped.

You had to have seen that one coming.

Somehow, someway, somewhat, Sharpner had managed to recover himself yet again and was on the path he believed was headed to the Satan girl's heart.

And as we all know, that was clearly the wrong path.

"Hey babe, I'm baaaaaaaaack!" the blond boy exclaimed, much to the distaste of everyone around him.

The reaction to the Satan girl was the usual. Turning her sights away from the golden statue, Videl set her sights on destroying the boy before her, and this time, nothing would save him.

Absolutely nothing.

* * *

Chichi was getting nervous and that was an event not seen since her wedding day.

Now what could be causing this?

All around the Son mother, boys were staring at her and not in the way she liked.

In case you didn't know, she preferred looks of fear and compliance, but then, you probably already knew that.

So by now, you probably guess that she wasn't getting these all too familiar looks. Instead, looks of lust and wanton were radiating from the guys.

And if you know Son Chichi, there was only one man that would ever look at her like that and live to tell the tale.

Wow, that's a lot of stuff you guys deduced. I must be losing my touch or something.

However, before the Son matriarch could begin scaring her unwanted watchers, one of them had gotten the courage to walk up to her, a confident vibe in his swagger. This teen had a mission and it was to win the heart of the hottest MILF in the room.

There was even a vote to determine that.

"Hey beautiful, how's everything going?" the boy asked as he stood next to Chichi, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. This of course put a very soft glare on the woman.

And a soft glare by Chichi was like getting hit by an 18 wheeler.

Feeling the blood in his body freezing with each passing second, the boy slowly pulled his arm away. However, Chichi wasn't gonna let the teen get off that easily.

"You want to know how I'm doing…right?" the Son woman said, a deadly element in her voice. "I'll show you how I'm doing…"

Gulping, the teen said, "No…no, that's not necessary."

"Oh but it is," Chichi said with a devious glint in her eye. "It wouldn't be proper manners if I didn't answer."

"Ma'am…please…" the boy said, close to the point of begging. This woman was crazy, pure madness and insanity.

Hmm, kinda sounds like that soccer mom I met a few years ago.

All around the two, boys that had an interest in the MILF were slowly slinking away, completely scared at the prospect of the woman turning her attention on them. You couldn't blame them though, who really wanted to die before they were able to drink and drive?

Hmmm, makes you wonder if they were gonna do that in the same evening.

But as everything that had happened that night, the Son woman never got to enact her plans of torture and inhumanity. In the blink of an eye, the boy that had tried to sway her was hit by a crumpled up piece of human body, bones, and limps. Blood started leaking all over the place as one boy was knocked unconscious and the other in a coma (a limo drive and lunch on me goes to who ever can guess the bloody mass is).

Blinking, Chichi stared down at the latest turn of events. Slowly approaching, the Son woman determined the current states of the two boys, diagnosing them with the conditions I mentioned in the previous paragraph.

Yet the bloody boy looked very familiar. Carefully studying the boy, who just so happened to be dressed as Hercule, the mother of two finally deduced…

…that she had no idea who this kid was.

Wow, honestly, who saw that one coming?

Turning around and ignoring the mess behind her, the former MILF, downgraded because of the previous event by the male student body, calmly walked away, acting as if she had never seen the two bodies before.

That, my friends, is some awesome chaperoning, wouldn't you say?

* * *

Videl was breathing hard.

Hey, breaking the body of a classmate was hard work.

But now, since she had taken care of that little matter, the Satan girl had to return her attention back to her original mission.

In case you forgot what that was, though I really doubt it, I'll tell you here: destroy the golden statue…again.

Turning to look at her target again, the statue was still in place, just waiting to be reduced to rubble.

Oh happy day.

Cracking her knuckles as she walked up to it, the Satan girl grabbed a hold of the menace and began squeezing.

And then was shocked out of her little green skirt…figuratively of course, though literally would've been so much more enjoyable.

Lying on the floor as black smoke rose from her body; Videl blinked her eyes, wondering what in the world had hit her. Looking up, the girl soon saw what she had failed to see previously.

Hanging from a sign above the statue, a warning in big, bold, black letters told all of the people looking at it that the statue of the almighty Hercule was being protected by the latest in electrical defense protection.

In other words, there was no way tonight that Videl was gonna be rid of that Kami forsaken thing.

Bah! Foiled again! Her dad was smarter than she thought he was.

Clinching her fists, the daughter of Satan got herself off the floor and left the scene smoldering, figuratively and literally this time. Since she couldn't be rid of that golden creature, she might as well go back to what she was previously doing.

Uhh, what was she doing again? Hmmm, oh wait I know! No, never mind, that's not it…oh, looking for Gohan…of course. Umm, is that was she was really doing? Doesn't seem like much…

Then again, what do I know?

* * *

To dbzfan952: Haha! Another family member looking at my readers strangely. Man I enjoy hearing that.


	17. The Great Saiyan Escape

Simultaneously, Gohan, Vegeta, and Bulma bumped their backs into each other. Now in a normal Gohan Goes to High School fic, Vegeta would've been trying to demand justice from having a low Kakabrat bumping into him, Bulma screaming at who ever startled her, and Gohan trying to restore some kind of order to the impending volcanic eruption.

As you can probably guess, this isn't one of those fics.

Now why would these perfectly stereotypical reactions not occur you ask?

None of those fics had all three surrounded by fangirls and fanboys.

Sweating bullets as they were surrounded in the middle of the gymnasium with their evil eyed hunters closing, Bulma asked, "Uhh, Gohan? Do you have any idea how we can escape from these evil little gremlins?"

Instead of the person named Gohan answer, Vegeta piped up. "Woman, let me blast them all to hell. We won't have worry about them ever again that way."

For all of two seconds, which was all he could spare at the moment, Gohan seriously thought about this but reluctantly had to shoot that idea down, even though he still kept that interesting thought bouncing around inside his skull. "I'm afraid we can't do that Vegeta. Mom would surely find out it was us."

Both Briefs paled. They couldn't let Chichi know they were there; that was the whole point in enlisting Gohan in their search for the chibis. But that left them to face the brunt of an army of fangirls and fanboys and none of them looked like they were going to let them escape without tearing off a few limbs, taking a couple organs, and pulling hair from scalps.

Such optimistic thoughts.

Finally, in the midst of total annihilation, a thought formed inside the chaotic mind of our favorite demi-saiyan. Whispering as low as he could so only Vegeta could hear him, he said, "Vegeta I have an idea."

Naturally, the Saiyan Prince was overjoyed at these four little words…wait a sec, one, three, two, nine, six…cuse me, six words, though he didn't show his emotions. "What is it Gohan?"

"When these guys jump us, grab Bulma and leap high into the air as fast as you can. From there, head till you get underneath the refreshment table. The table cloth will conceal our location from all of these…creatures."

It was so simple that Vegeta could've slapped the young saiyan or himself. But that thought quickly disappeared and was soon replaced with the thought of how great it was. Now at least they stood a fighting chance.

After what felt like an hour, though it was more like 20.63 seconds, the evil hunters attacked with a very cleverly disguised command. "ATTACK!!"

See how clever that was?

Instantly all the costumed teens leaped at their vermin, their dog pile growing larger and larger till it nearly touched the roof, missing it by three quarters of an inch.

Okay, I really need to stop thinking about math.

However, unbeknownst to the fangirls/boys, their prey had escaped and were hiding in the last place you would find a couple of saiyans; underneath the buffet table.

…Uhh, wouldn't that be the first place you'd look?

"Gohan, that had to be your best idea by far," Vegeta said, relief laced in his voice.

"Yeah, I have to say I outdid myself on that one," the demi-saiyan said. At least one thing was going his way today; now if only they could find the two chibis.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?"

All three adults froze, fear dominating their facial features (even Vegeta). Slowly, turning their heads, they nearly sang the chorus of Hallelujah, Joy to the World, and a couple of other rather loud church songs. Hiding underneath the table with them were Trunks and Goten, each of them looking at the older people curiously.

"Goten, Trunks, how long have you been hiding here?" Bulma demanded.

"Since all those cootie infested girls started surrounding us," Trunks answered. "We just gave them a distraction and then hid here until you showed up."

"Yeah Nii-chan, those girls scared us," Goten added. "You've got to get us out of here."

Now doesn't that sound familiar.

Everyone underneath the table went silent as they allowed Gohan to think. So far his ideas had been working so it wouldn't be a bad thing to let him continue being their brain, at least until he failed them which that would doom them to a fate worse than death.

Okay people, it's time to start thinking happy thoughts.

Looking out from underneath the tablecloth, Gohan was surprised to see that the dog pile they had escaped earlier was gone. In its stead, students were handing out wanted posters of their quarry, thinking they could capture them that way. Taking this into consideration, the saiyan went into planning the escape.

And after an intense thinking session, filled with stealing what ever food the five could steal from atop the table without being seen, though it had to be one of the greatest mysteries ever since no one saw them, which I give full credit to teenage obliviousness for, Gohan finally settled on his ultimate choice.

Wow, that's a really long sentence.

Letting out a sigh, Gohan told his idea. "I think our best course of action would be to go out blasting. We blow as many holes in the wall with ki blasts so that we can get out of here. It'll distract everyone long enough for us to escape."

Vegeta got a look on his face like a six year old getting a bicycle for Christmas. "Finally we get to do things my way. Alright everyone, we go on my lead. Are you ready?"

Nodding their confirmation, everyone readied themselves for the madness they were about to unleash.

"NOW!!" Vegeta cried out, throwing the table off of them and firing ki blasts at the nearest wall.

What follows was a scene of utter chaos and madness that even Sparta couldn't compete with. If you can figure how much that was, then you still have no idea what I mean by that. Sadly, neither do I. So to sum it up, kids were screaming, holes were appearing, light beams were flashing, people were getting trampled, giant monkeys were fighting over puny bananas, evil scientist were making death rays, VCR clocks refused to be set on the correct time, Sharpner grew a brain and lost it within the same millisecond, dogs and cats were getting along, black was white, I managed to get a job, Sudoku puzzles became easy…

In other words, insanity.

Welcome to my world folks.

But like all good things, order was restored. How it was you may ask?

Hey, you're looking at the wrong guy for answers.

And with everything back under the controlling thumb of the teachers, the adults had to face a bit of a problem. Due to mysterious damages, namely a couple large holes in the gym wall, the dance would have to come to an end. After letting that news sink in, the teens soon wondered off to do whatever it was that teens do after a dance…thingy.

And quite some distance away, Gohan and Chichi were walking towards the outskirts of Satan City, worn out, bewildered, and disheveled. That party had been something.

Vegeta and Bulma had collected the chibis and had taken them back to Capsule Corp, avoiding any sort of meeting with the Son woman. In the mean time, Gohan had managed to find his mother and thought it would be a good idea to go home with her, considering she had no idea that the other four were even within spitting distance of her…just so you readers know.

"That…was interesting," the Son matriarch said, still lost back in the chaotic paragraph.

"Yeah, it was something else," her son agreed. Silence reigned on the two for sometime before Chichi broke it again.

"Uhh, just to let you know, you don't have to go to anymore of those dances Gohan."

Gohan just nodded his head. It would be some time before that thought would register but he would still be too out of it to celebrate it correctly.

Probably a good thing considering his company.

* * *

To dbzfan952: Haha! No one say that thing making its grand reentrance here. I just love giving out surprises. And that one boy definitely had bad luck. Chose the wrong person to hit on. At least he'll think twice before going after another MILF.


	18. A Hot French Fry

Well, finally that dance is over now onto other things to entertain you people with. Have to admit though, it was kinda overdrawn.

Wow, I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction to The Sharpenator. That was was a first for me and I'm presently surprised ya'll liked it. Though if you haven't, then I guess you can ignore this little note. Anyways, Thank you everyone who enjoyed it.

* * *

A pair of blue eyes shown in the darkness of the room, blinking every once in awhile. There was nothing visible in the room except a podium with a show light shining on it. However, it was the thing on the podium that captivated the unwavering eyes' attention.

The golden Hercule statue.

Ever so slowly, the eyes approached the statue, a glare seeming to radiant from them. If the eyes weren't mistaken, a layer of sweat seemed to start dripping down the statue's golden frame. Hmm, almost as if it was fearing its utter destruction; as it rightfully should.

Suddenly, the whole room lit up, revealing a surprised Videl crawling on the ground in military camouflage. Even her face was painted green, black, and brown. Apparently the Satan girl meant business.

Turning her head slowly to look behind her, Videl saw her father standing on the staircase by the light switches, a red robe covering his large from as well as a curious look on his face.

"Videl, what are you doing?" the world champ asked.

And at that instant, Videl had no idea what to say (amazing ain't it?). She had been caught red handed on her latest attempt to destroy that golden monstrosity. If her father realized that, she would be locked in her room until she was gray and wrinkly.

That was something she didn't want, even though she could pull off that Repunzal hair thing by then.

It was then that the Satan patriarch bailed her out. "Are you playing army man again? That's so cute."

The army man game that the afro man had just mentioned was a game that the young Videl played as a young child. After falling in love with war movie after war movie, she tried her best to imitate such heroic figures; and with thanks to Hercule's name, she was even able to get her hands on a real gun with live ammo, though they never did give her a grenade.

Some kids get all the good stuff…spoiled brats…

Seeing her opportunity to get out of getting in trouble, Videl smiled a rather fake smile, not that Hercule noticed, scratched the back of her head, and chuckled. "Yep, it's been awhile since I played that."

Almost acting like a cooing mother over a little kid, Hercule said, "You can be so precious Sweetpea. But now you need to go to bed, you have school in the morning."

"Okay dad," Videl said before getting off the floor and walking up the stairs. As she traveled down the hall way, a scowl appeared on her face. Her mission was foiled yet again; but mark her thoughts, she'd destroy that blasted statue if it was the last thing she would do.

* * *

Sitting in her seat with the scowl from last night on her face, Videl smoldered in her thoughts, thinking of a new plan to attack her prey. It was the last thing she had been thinking of when she went to sleep and the first thing she thought about when she woke up. However, her thoughts were interrupted when a certain someone walked in the classroom.

Walking up the stair case to his seat, Sharpner looked out of place for some reason. Studying the blond carefully, the Satan girl finally deduced what was different about the blond.

There was an eye patch covering his left eye, most likely covering up any damage that she herself had cause him at that Halloween dance the night before when they "danced." What a great night that was…

"Hey Sharpner, how's the eye?" Videl greeted.

Sharpner grimaced. "Sure, that's the first thing that you'd noticed."

"But of course. How can I not ask about my handiwork?"

"Uhhh, that's not how I injured my eye."

"Huh?" Videl said baffled. How could that eye patch not be covering up a battered eye, courtesy of her Satan fists? "Then why are you wearing an eye patch?"

Sharpner mumbled his reply, causing Videl to ask what he said, which the blond dude mumbled again, only slightly louder. So cliché, ain't it?

Now as you all might have guessed, those two questions were wearing the daughter of Satan's patience very fast; fast enough to make her nearly knock him upside the head which she seriously considered doing if it wasn't for Sharpner somehow interpreting the danger signs of an enraged Satan girl.

Wow that's a long sentence.

After correctly deducing the eminent danger he faced, the blond lady's man final spat out the cause of his eye patch usage. "I accidentally poked my eye with a hot French fry."

Dude…wow…and I thought I was the only one to do that…err, you didn't just hear me say that…

As you can already imagine, that was the last thing that Videl had expected. From all the years of physical damage she had caused the boy, never had he needed to wear some kind of bandage for it. That had caused many a sleepless night for the girl considering she prided herself on being able to bend metal bars with her bare hands. Even more troubling was how Sharpner could be beaten to a bloody pulp one moment and the next being completely unharmed. How a French fry had accomplished in one moment that she hadn't been able to in several years, she had no clue; but she did know one thing…

She needed to get her hands on that French fry.

And as the Satan girl plotted on how to get this miracle fry, Gohan entered the room warily. Even after returning home from the dance the night before, the saiyan was still on the look out for the insane fangirls he just knew were hunting him down.

And I thought I was paranoid.

Sitting in his seat, the saiyan immediate saw the many looks of giggling girls as they looked at him every few seconds. Looking behind him and all around, the same phenomenon was occurring with the girls, save for one Videl Satan who looked as if she was plotting on doing something devious.

Gulping, Gohan settled in for a long day of school, praying to Kami he would make it out of here alive.

* * *

There was the bell, the signal that it was the end of the day and Gohan couldn't have been more joyous.

After dodging the many attempts of being surrounded by fangirls throughout the day, the demi-saiyan was almost free for the day. All he had to do now was make it to the roof and he was home free.

"Hey Gohan."

The scared saiyan nearly soiled himself when he heard that. Slowly turning himself around, the boy nearly let out a cry of joy when he saw Videl standing there. Of all the girls here, he was sure she wasn't one of the obsessive ones that tried touching him in inappropriate places…or was she?

"Hey Videl, what's up?" the saiyan asked.

"Nothing much, just needed to ask you a favor," the Satan girl said.

"Sure Videl, what do you need?"

"Well, you remember survival camp, right?"

"Yeah, how could I forget?" Gohan said.

Videl chuckled a bit. "Yeah, so do you remember a golden statue being there?"

Gohan froze. He remembered that thing. Somehow the students had built that thing out of gold and he had no idea where they had gotten the gold still. Oddly enough, it had disappeared before he could get rid of it. Had it resurfaced again?

"What do you know about it?" the saiyan asked quietly.

"Well, my father found it after I tried to get rid of it and now it's in my house. I've tried to get rid of it again but all my attempts have been thwarted and now I'm desperate. Think you can help me out?"

Now, our demi-saiyan really had no cause to worry about that statue. It wasn't bothering him anymore. However, just the thought that that thing was adding to the ego of one Hercule Satan…it had to be stopped…

"I'll do what ever I can," Gohan solemnly vowed.

Videl lit up. "That's great. Think you can do it today?"

"Yeah, let's do this."

"Gohan, I believe this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

Oh brother, how more plagiaristic can I get?


	19. Defeated by a Cough

When people said that Hercule Satan was living it large, they weren't kidding.

But you already knew that.

To country bumpkins like Son Gohan though, that was an understatement. Staring at the massive mansion, the Son boy had to say the gossip was right for once; though he didn't listen to that gossip very much mind you, he just overheard it about a million times.

As Gohan looked at the mansion, Videl watched the saiyan's reaction. It wasn't everyday that she brought someone to her house and she wanted to make sure she didn't send this country boy into shock, followed by a six month coma. Believe me, it's happened before.

She even took a picture of it.

"Nice…house…" was the only thing Gohan could say after awhile.

"Yeah, it's okay. But enough gawking, we have a mission at hand."

Almost immediately, Gohan got a serious look on his face. "You're right. Let's take care of this nuisance once and for all."

Nodding, the Satan girl led her former camp instructor into the all glorious Satan mansion. If the outside of the house was impressive to the Son boy, the inside was even grander.

That coma should be coming on any minute now…

Stopping in the polished marble room, the room was filled with expensive rugs, furniture, and other really, really expensive stuff that you or I…especially you people…will never see in three lifetimes (I call dibs on this stuff in the next lifetime). Staring at the place with eyes wider than the moon, Gohan almost had to smash his head in a wall to make sure he was functioning properly. He held himself back though since he was in someone else's house and didn't feel like explaining why he could break marble with his head.

Huh? That hard head trait won't cut it this time? What has this world come to?

A sudden sharp whistle alerted the stunned saiyan that he was still on the job and he quickly located Videl and hurried after her.

"You're taking this quite well," the Satan girl said.

"What do you mean?" the Son boy asked, puzzled.

"Well, anyone else I've brought here, except for Erasa, had to be taken to the ER to make sure they were still alive," Videl explained.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, not at all. Just ask Sharpner."

Ahhh, wouldn't you know it. To explain that part of the story, I will for once tell you what happened instead of giving you the same "that's a different story" excuse that I have whole heartedly taken advantage of in the past. One day our beloved Sharper had stalked…err, I mean stealthily followed our young Videl Satan home. Upon seeing the Satan manor, the blond nearly had a heart attack and collapsed on the street. He wasn't discovered until morning when the paperboy ran him over with his bicycle.

"O…kay…so…where's the statue?" Gohan stalled, trying to change the subject very noticeably…uhh, unnoticeably.

Somehow, Videl didn't catch the oh so subtle subject change. "It's right over here, in the next room."

Lo and behold, the Satan girl's directions were true. There, in the next room, right over here, was the golden statue of the pompous Hercule. The shine from the lights reflecting off the creations haughty smile nearly blinded the two…and not in a good way either.

"Ahhhh, my eyes!"

"They're burning!"

"Oh the pain!"

…Okay, okay, they weren't that expressive, but they did get migraines.

What a sec, how can becoming blind be a good thing?

After looking at the thing with identical looks of disgust, Gohan started to pop his fingers and loosen up his shoulders. "Alright then, time to get to work."

"Time to get to work how?"

Both students froze where they stood. Slowly looking at each other, they could see it in each other's eyes that neither one of them had said that. Then they slowly turned around and came face to face with the Champ himself…and no, not Muhammad Ali you silly people.

Hercule Satan.

Told ya it wasn't Ali.

"Uhh, hi dad," Videl said, hoping to not to give herself and Gohan away.

"Hi Sweetpea, how was your day?" Hercule asked.

"It was okay."

"Well, that's good," the champ replied before setting his sights on Gohan. "And who is this person?"

"Uhh, this is Gohan; he's a friend of mine," Videl answered nervously.

"A friend huh? And a boy at that," Hercule mused. Suddenly his brain stopped, did a U-turn, passed his last couple of sentences and did another U-turn, and finally comprehended what he had just said.

"Videl! This scrawny kid better not be your boyfriend!" the greatest marital artist roared.

Videl's eyes widened. That was the last thing she needed her dad to think of at the moment. If she thought getting caught trying to destroy that statue of him was going to be bad, having the old man think she was dating a kid behind his back was even worse. It was more horrible than facing Chichi's Frying Pan of Doom…well, maybe not that horrible, but still pretty bad.

"No Dad! Gohan's not my—" the Satan girl protested.

"Videl, what have I said about you dating boys?!" Hercule interrupted.

"But Dad I—"

"You know that boy has to be stronger than me!"

"I know that Dad but—"

"This boy better be strong or you're gonna be locked up in your room for the rest of your natural life!"

"Dad you're not listening, I—"

And on and on this went as Gohan got the unexpected honor of watching Satan father and daughter battling it out. However, the demi-saiyan suddenly got the urge to cough but refrained from doing so due to Hercule suddenly pushing himself in front of his face.

"BOY!! You better not have been messing with my daughter! I'll skin you alive if you've touched her inappropriately!" the Champ roared.

At this point, Videl was blushing from embarrassment from that suggestion. It wasn't everyday her father insinuated…more like flat out told…that someone had been touching her where…yeeeeeah.

"DAD! STOP!!" Videl cried.

And of course, her father, as great as he was, with all his power and glory…

…didn't listen.

"Boy! Do you know who I am?! I am the Great Hercule Satan! THE MARTIAL ARTS CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!! THE MAN WHO DEFEATED CELL!! I—"

And that was as far as the champ got. It was sudden and unexpected. As the man hit mid rant, the scrawny boy formally known as Gohan let out the irritation that was building up in his throat, i.e. he coughed.

And just as sudden as the cough came, the almighty Hercule was swept off his feet and sent flying into the wall, imbedding himself in it. Staring at the man as he was wedged in the wall, both Videl and Gohan looked on in silent amazement. From the teens' expressions, Gohan was surprised he had knocked that man that far without touching him, while Videl had eyes the size of dinner plates, completely speechless at what she saw.

Gohan had defeated her father.

However, she wasn't quite sure she had seen what she saw, so she asked the only other person in the room if what she was seeing was correct. "Uhh, Gohan, did you really…"

"…beat your father by coughing on him? It appears to be that way…" the demi-saiyan finished for her.

That confirmed it. This boy had done what no other person had ever accomplished.

Gohan had defeated her father…by coughing on him.

Ain't that ironic?

"So…what does this mean?" Gohan asked.

Silence passed.

"I think this means we're going out," Videl said, confused to be actually saying that.

More silence passed.

"Okay…uhh, if we're going out, what does that mean we have to do?"

Even more silence passed.

"Umm, you know, hang out with each other; hug…what boys and girls do when they're together."

You guessed it, more silence passed.

The two looked at each other before Videl finally broke the latest silence. "Uhh, why don't we call it a day and talk about it at school tomorrow?"

This time, a lot more silence passed.

"Yeah, sure, that sounds like a plan."

"Okay then, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you then."

After another long moment of silence, Gohan turned and left the mansion, taking off into the air as he flew home, running into a flock of geese along the way. Videl on the other hand, went into her room and began contemplating what had just occurred. It would be awhile before she would come out. And as for Hercule…well, he spent the next week in the wall, completely unconscious. Due to his suddenly lack of talking, the staff didn't even notice he was there and eventually decorated him up with household…stuff…thingies…

* * *

To dbzfan952: And like you guessed, not much action. The statue survived for another day and the kids have many questions on their minds. In other words, some unknown territory has been discovered and who knows how it'll go down.


	20. The Beginning and Ending of Heroism

Like a wildfire burning the state of California, word spread quickly.

The daughter of the greatest man alive was dating someone.

That someone, they had no earthly idea who.

From a press release, it was revealed that someone had challenged the almighty Hercule for the chance at dating Videl and won. While the part about someone defeating their idol was mind blowing, the thought that Videl had actually accepted the fact that she was going out with someone was a whole different animal.

Kinda like water and tap water being two completely different things…wait a sec…

Anyways, most of the students just rationalized this big juicy chunk of gossip and theorized that Hercule must have taken pity on the boy and decided to let him date his daughter for a little while. How the champ talked his daughter into agreeing with that arrangement, they didn't know but that was the best they could come up with.

And I thought I was in denial.

Mysteriously though, no one ever found out who it was Videl was with. They watched her every move like a saiyan watching food and still could find no evidence of her suitor.

They must've been ignoring Gohan's presence around her.

Throughout the day, both teens just walk around with each other, trying to figure out what it was they were supposed to do as a couple, thus they didn't show a hint of them actually being together. Hopefully for you soap opera types, that makes some sense.

But now on to the reaction of the more important students.

When Erasa first heard, she nearly thought the world was ending before realizing that the sky wasn't full of fireballs. Next, she hunted down her friend and congratulated her endlessly, never shutting up so Videl could get a word in edgewise.

Fairly typical, neh?

When Sharpner found out, well, you can probably guess what happened, but in case you can't, I'll just show it to you.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN VIDEL HAS A BOYFRIEND?!"

As you can tell, he took that fairly well…I think.

After screaming that in front of the teachers' lounge and making a quick retreat to escape the teachers' wrath, the blond started to slowly sink into insanity at the thought that Videl would go out with any guy other than him. What did that guy have that he didn't? He was gorgeous (ugh); athletic (possibly); had a great body (that's what he thinks); he was irresistible to all women across the world (riiiiiiiiiiight); he even had X-ray vision (…no comment). Seriously, what did that other guy have? Then Sharpner gasped. The guy that Videl was seeing just had to be the ultimate macho man. He just had to be…

Uhh, who was it again?

Anyways, Sharpner began storming down the halls of the school the best he could, trying to get a glimpse at this great man's man. It took him nearly an hour but he finally found the Satan girl with the Mountain Boy not too far behind.

Now what was he doing there?

"Hey Mountain Boy," the blond boy called out. "What are you doing near Videl?"

"Uhh, nothing?" the Son boy said, confused.

"Well, you better get away from her, she's taken; and if you know what's good for ya, you'd get away before that boyfriend of hers comes around."

Videl and Gohan stared at Sharpner for a bit before looking at each other, then looking back. "Uhh, Sharpner, I—"

"Mountain Boy, come on! I'm trying to help you out here," Sharpner said.

"Look Sharpner," Videl said crossly. "Gohan is the guy who I'm going out with." Then, to further prove her point, she took a hold of the saiyan's hand, causing both of them to blush.

That simple action nearly caused the Orange Star High's most eligible bachelor's head to explode.

Damn, so close.

"VIDEL!! You can't be serious!" Sharpner cried out.

"Yes I am. Gohan managed to beat my dad, so as the rules go, we're a couple now. And you know what that means, right?'

"What?" Sharpner asked in a very, very, very tiny voice.

"YOU HAVE TO STOP HITTING ON ME!!" Videl bellowed.

It was if time itself stopped. Not hit on Videl? That was…that was…that was horrifying. Since he had hit puberty, it had been Sharpner's life long ambition to go out with the ultimate girl. And now, after working so hard, he would never have that chance again. It was almost too much to bear.

Almost being the key word.

"It's…it's impossible. There's no way this geek can beat the all powerful Hercule, there just can't be," the crushed blond whispered. When he looked up to look at Videl and Gohan again, he saw they had disappeared.

Jolting himself back into the world we all know as reality, Sharpner began looking around frantically for the couple, seeing them disappearing around the corner at the end of the hall.

Clinching his fist, Sharpner began to see red…then blue…then a couple shades of green and then returned back to red, though it had a yellowish tint to it. He would break those two up if it was the last thing he would do and he meant it; the absolute, final, totally, ultimately, unconditionally last thing.

Thank Kami for a Thesaurus.

* * *

It had been nearly a week since that day when Videl's watch buzzer thingy went off.

"_Videl, we need your help, hurry!"_

Wow, some distress call.

Of course, the black haired girl confirmed the message and took off out of the classroom. After Videl had left, all eyes settled on Gohan. Looking around nervously, the saiyan asked "What?"

"Well, don't you have to go to the restroom now?" the teacher asked.

"Oh, that's right," Gohan said, scratching the back of his head. Getting up, the Son boy left class and headed to the restroom when he realized something.

He didn't have to go pee.

Well that sucked. Now what was he suppose to do now? If he couldn't go to the restroom, he'd have to go back to class, even if he didn't want to. Hmm, he'd just have to kill some time then.

It was at that moment that the demi-saiyan noticed his watch that held the rarely used superhero costume that I completely forgot to write about until this very moment. Getting the bright idea of going off to help Videl fight crime or what ever it was she did, Gohan raced up to the roof, pushed the button on his watch, his costume enveloping him, and then taking off into the skies, searching for Videl's ki signature.

/sigh/ what ever happened to the good old days where people just used a phone booth?

After flying over the city for a few minutes, the disguised saiyan finally found where Videl had taken off to. At the outskirts of town, a van was barreling down the street with twenty some odd police cars chasing it. Not seeing a sign of Videl, Gohan flew down towards the speeding getaway van and landed on the roof softly. Okay, he had gotten to the target, check, now what?

Hmm, didn't look like he thought this through, did he?

After thinking for a bit, the saiyan finally decided to enter the van, punching a hole into the roof and ripping it open. Inside the van, two men dressed in stereotypical white and black stripped shirts with black pants and ski masks over their faces looked up surprised at the weirdly dressed person who was currently making them a sunroof.

Jumping in, Gohan gave a couple chops to the neck of each robber, dropping them instantly. Walking towards the front of the van, he did the same thing to the driver, who also was knocked out.

Not the smartest of decisions.

Soon the van was speeding up and from the look of things; it was heading straight to the railing of a bridge. Thinking quickly, the demi-saiyan grabbed all three crooks and flew out of the speeding vehicle and watched as it rammed through the guard railing and fell down into the river below.

Let's just hope no environmentalist will get angry over that.

Landing on the ground and dropping all three bad dudes, a sudden gust of wind hit Gohan, alerting him to a landing jet chopper.

Whoopee…its Videl…oh whoops, forgot to put in the excitement.

Jumping out of her chopper, Videl walked over to the four masked men and stared at the oddly dressed one. "Uhh, thanks for your help," she said hesitantly.

"It was no problem, just doing my job," Gohan replied.

Narrowing her eyes, Videl asked "So tell me, how did you do all that stuff you just did; you know, the flying and all."

"Uhh, I've done it all my life."

"Is that so?"

"Pretty much."

"Okay Gohan, we'll just have to talk about it later."

As you can already well imagine, that last line stopped our demi-saiyan in his tracks, though he wasn't moving to begin with.

"Uhh, why did you call me that?" the costumed saiyan asked meekly.

"This is your name, right?"

"But how did you recognize me?"

"Uhh, you voice. Maybe next time you should deepen it or something."

Gohan looked dazed until he slapped his hand against his forehead...err, helmet. Of all the things he forgot to do, he forgot to disguise his voice. Well, there went the whole superhero thing.

"I guess you want to talk about this, right?" Gohan asked.

"You bet. We'll figure that out when we get back to school, got it?"

"Yes ma'am."

"And now, you get out of here. I'll handle the police and I'll see you soon."

Nodding, Gohan took off into the air, heading back towards school. Well, things could've been worse, he figured.

He could've gone there in that Bulma costume thing, wedgie and all.

* * *

To dbzfan952: I know, if only there was that kinda luck around. I know I'd love it.

To swk3000: To be honest, I'm surprised I can come up with those kind of things. It's been a decade that ffn been up and yet I keep coming up with things that other people should've beaten me to. That's just the way I think anyway. As to putting that into a serious fic, it can be done; just have to have the right imagination is all. Even serious fics need some humor.


	21. Who Likes Spilt Beans?

Hey everyone, I'd like to make an announcement right now. Last chapter official made this story my most successful one to date, so give yourselves a pat on the back. Without you, this thing would be just something collecting dust somewhere. Thank you all for reading, reviewing, favoriting, alerting, and doing all those things you do.

On a side note, for all of you G/V writers and fans, a forum for everything G/V has been made, along with a group on DeviantArt. Made for the advancement of the G/V fandom, we hope to get more stories for the couple written and what not. Heck, even just the passing of ideas on the couple is what it's there for. It's called "SweetestIrony." Stop on by when ever you get the chance.

And for my third note, a joke I had going with Henry-Coreen-Lover125 and now I've thrown in here cause I thought it was fitting. Thanks for that HCL. What can I say, I like commercials. And no fretting LolliBear06, I'm working on the hammers.

* * *

It had been a couple days since the attempted introduction of Gohan's superhero gig and our foolish little saiyan was currently watching the skies around his house.

After meeting up with Videl after school, the couple had decided it would be a good idea for them to have a lot of alone time together to get the saiyan's story right, thus they chose to meet at the Son house for the weekend.

Yes, I know, they actually used some brain power.

Standing there in his dark blue gi, his arms across his chest, Gohan was slowly getting bored. Honestly, how long did it take for people to fly all the way out here? He'd have to find some way to entertain himself at the rate things were going.

To make an overly long story short, he did. Everything from tying his shoes, to sit ups, to picking his nose, the young saiyan did. It was when he was flicking away his latest booger that Videl's chopper came into sight. Straightening himself out, the saiyan returned to the pose I told you about so long ago that you've probably already forgotten about.

A couple minutes later, the Satan girl, jumped out of her chopper and walked over to the waiting boy. "So you ready to spill the beans?"

Sighing, Gohan responded "Yeah, I guess so. I'll tell you my life's story if that's okay."

"Sure alright, so start talking."

Right then, the Son boy turned and started walking, surprising the pig tailed girl. Shaking off her surprise, she hurried after the saiyan until she strode side by side with him.

And now, I intentionally interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special report:

Frustrated from lack of inspiration? Do you have a deadline to meet so your readers don't hunt you down and gut you like a fish? Wouldn't life be so much easier if there was someway to get rid of that pesky condition known as writer's block? Well today's your lucky day! In my possession, I hold a magic black pill that will read you of that ailment. Its name...I forget but then I'm having a creative shortage block. Anyways, if you want and desperately need this pill, send an email for ShadowMajin's Majic Pill. That is not a typo; it really is "Majic."

I now return you to your regular scheduled program.

"So let me get this straight," Videl said, getting ready to sum up the overly long story her saiyan counterpart had just spent the last day and night telling her. "You're from an alien race called the saiyans; your uncle kidnapped you and were later trained to fight two more saiyans; went to another planet to recover some special balls that would bring your friends back while running into five dancing bakas and a tyrannical lizard; met a guy from the future; trained for three years to face some androids; went into a room that allowed you to train for an entire year in one day; and went to the Cell Games as the little boy who eventually fought Cell."

"Yep, that's pretty much it," Gohan replied.

"So those people in that picture were you and your dad before that tournament?"

"Yep."

Videl fell quiet. So far her Satan brain had processed as much of this information as she possibly could and was doing exceedingly well. There was just one problem…

Why hadn't he mentioned any of those DBZ movies?

Errr, okay, maybe not that. Here's what she was really thinking:

'Where's some of that Preparation H when you need it?'

…uhhh, o…kay…lets forget what she was thinking and just move on shall we?

"So…" the Satan girl said, "What was it like to face Cell?"

It was a moment before Gohan replied. "Scary. There was just something about that guy that screamed 'fear me.'"

As Gohan talked, a sneaky suspicion began to build itself in Videl's head. It had been building up ever so slowly as the saiyan next to her told her his story.

That and when dinner was going to be ready; she was starving.

"Last question. How did you beat Cell?"

"A giant Kamehameha blast to the face," Gohan said without hesitating. A second later, the demi-saiyan had to do a U-turn to make sure he had said what he said to the girl next to him and almost bashed his head open against a tree. That was the last thing he needed to have said right then and there.

Slowly looking over to the daughter of Satan, the saiyan saw she was in deep concentration. Suddenly, that look became very devious; a look that our warrior didn't like.

Nope, didn't like one little bit.

And in case you didn't know, he didn't like that look at all.

"So I'm going out with the guy who defeated Cell huh?" the Satan girl said.

"Yeah, pretty much," the saiyan replied, sweating.

"Perfect, I'm gonna have so much fun with this."

"Huh?" Gohan said confused. What was this girl thinking? "What do you mean?"

"Well, I have the perfect blackmail against my father right next to me. There's nothing he can do now that'll stop me from destroying that blasted statue," Videl said excited.

Oh…wow…that was the extent of her thinking?

"That and I can do what ever I want as long as I stay with you."

Oh, spoke too soon I see. My bad.

"So you're just gonna stick around me because your father won't stand up against you now?" Gohan tried to sum up.

"Not exactly. If this was any other guy, like Sharpner, I doubt I could do this. But since it's you, I don't have to worry about a guy's half ass attempts to get into my pants now," the girl explained. "Besides, I think I'd be able to like you more the longer we're together.

"Huh? You like me?" Gohan said baffled. What was going on in this girl's head?

And that all you young men, is the question that will never go answered.

Without answering, Videl hooked her arm around the saiyan's, looking up at the boy afterwards and said, "I could get use to this."

Uhh, now I have no idea what's going on.

Well, to save everyone the confusion of going any further, I'll just say that the somewhat more solid couple returned to the Son house, had dinner, wrestled with Goten, put Videl in a hurt locker, nearly suffocated Gohan with a pillow, and destroyed half of Chichi's kitchen. All and all, a fairly quiet evening at the Son house.

Wait a minute.

"SON GOHAN!! SON GOTEN!! YOU DESTROYED MY KITCHEN AGAIN!! PREPARE TO DIE!!"

There we go. Just another quiet evening at the Son house.

* * *

In the coming days of OSH, rarely a day went by that Videl wasn't stuck to Gohan like superglue to that birdhouse that somehow got glued to my hand. To some people, it was the cutest thing they had ever seen. To others, it was like taking a tennis racket to the head while their little brother was using it as a baseball bat to hit pecans. Meaning, it was very shocking and it hurt a lot.

And yes, my little brother did hit me in the head with a tennis racket.

And finally, after going through everyone else's reaction, there was Sharpner.

Ahh, a class of his own.

Ever since he had learned first hand that he couldn't hit on the Satan girl, he had fallen into a severe depression, found Jesus, praised the lord, and then fell back into a depression. Unfortunately, that didn't last long as he was returning back to form, which ever one that was.

While wallowing in self pity one night, the blond boy had came up with the bright idea to break up this tragic couple. After following this train of thought, Sharpner had raised his spirit up to unprecedented levels.

However, there in lied a problem. How could he break this couple up? Pondering this for a good five minutes and fifty three seconds, the blond figured it out. He'd just have to show up Mountain Boy in some form or fashion and the Satan girl would be his for the taking.

Huh? I didn't write that. Where the hell did that come from? Ehhh, just pretend you didn't hear that.

And as the Sharpner boy had come back to his game of being Sharpner, the teacher had just given him the ideal time and place to launch the coup. "Alright kids, after managing to filch some money from the football team that hasn't won a game in three years and still gets more money than all of us teachers combined, this class will be allowed to go to the Satan Museum of Natural History this Friday. We will be there the whole day so pack a lunch. And now, I will pass out the permission slips."

Wow, that last part sounded pretty bland...uhh, I meant exciting!

An evil glint began to twinkle in the Sharpner guy's eyes. This was absolutely perfect. He could show up Mountain Boy with his almighty brain power! Ha, that Son boy didn't stand a chance.

You may start rolling on the floor, laughing your asses off now; or rotflyaof for you computer people. I'll wait.

Done now? Did anyone laugh out a couple organs or was I the only one?

The rest of day went by as people began to get creeped out from the way Sharpner looked. Hey, when you look the way he does, it's to be expected…okay, that wasn't nice.

And as the school day ended, the plotting blond stood at the edge of the roof, the wind blowing his hair all over the place. Down below, he watched as his love interest and chief rival left the school grounds. "You better enjoy yourself Mountain Boy because after Friday, that'll be me with Videl." Sharpner proclaimed. "You hear me?! She'll be mine!! MINE!!" he cried out.

Sadly, Gohan didn't hear him.

Pity.

* * *

To SMILE UR ON TV for Ch.7: O...kay...I have no idea what a crunchie is.

To dbzfan952: Yeah, teens can be very oblivious to things outside of their small thoughts. Hercule...he still has about six days left lol. At least if I'm going off of last chapter anyways.


	22. Gasp! A Smart Sharpner?

In an event to save time, money, and sheer boredom for me, the following sentence is a brief summary of what happened, from the day of the announcement to Friday.

Absolutely nothing happened. Now on to Friday.

At the front of the school, it was pure madness, chaos, insanity, and any other word that means crazy.

Students were running loose; acting like savages as they tripped people, pantsed others, eating raw meat, listened to bad music, TPed the school, and other things that crazy teenagers do. That was until the teachers called everyone to order.

"Everyone! ATTENTION!!"

Instantly, order was brought down upon the crazy teens. All the scenes of madness I mentioned above disappeared instantly, a squeaky, sparkling school stood in its stead.

Whoa, how did they do that? I didn't give them that power.

"Alright people, listen up. The buses are running late…as always. Now, for the time being, I want you to—"

And that was as far as the teacher got. At that very second, three school buses had turned the corner and parked right in front of group.

Wow…that has to be a first somewhere; I mean, this isn't even for the football team we're talking about. Wow.

"Uhh, never mind. Alright then kids, everyone on the bus," the teacher said, momentarily stunned.

Almost instantly, there was a mad rush for the best seats on the buses i.e. the back seats. After several traffic jams, the students slowly managed to start seating themselves in the not so good seats as the best ones had been taken. It was during this that our neighborhood friendly Sharpner made his first move on Videl.

As the Satan girl slid into a seat, the blond managed to slip passed the annoyance that was her boyfriend, and sat right next to her. "Sorry Mountain Boy, looks like this seat's taken," Sharpner said, very much to his delight.

That, however, didn't last long as Videl cocked back her fist and slammed it into the blond nuisance's head, sending him flying through the other side of the bus, and into traffic.

Well, that solved that problem.

Unfortunately, Sharpner returned and managed to get a seat close to the couple he was trying to break up. Other than that, the bus ride over to the museum was rather uneventful.

"Alright everyone, this is where I leave you to enjoy this lovely museum. I'll be across the street at the bar…I mean, getting a drink for myself. I'll pick you up sometime later," the teacher announced before turning around and heading across the street and into the watering hole.

For a few minutes the teens looked lost before they all went into the Satan museum. Hold on a second, they actually went in there? Wow, school must be corrupting them. Everyone raise their hands if you would've skipped?

Once inside the massive building, the students saw many things. Starting with the exhibit of scientific theories, the scholars of knowledge (dude, I have to be high to write that) were treated to the Satan Laws of Motion, the Satan Law of Satantivity, the Big Satan Theory, Plate Satantonics, and so much more (a prize goes to who ever can guess all the theory).

Following the scientific theories, an exhibit of the solar system was present. At the center of the model was the Sun with a transparent Hercule face on it, laughing smile and everything. Upon seeing that, Videl had to groan. Even in a museum, her father had to be the center of the universe.

Among the planets, even they had some form of Hercule imprinted on them. On Jupiter, there was a transparent picture of the champ striking one of his famous poses; on Venus there was one of him with a heart surrounding his mug; on Uranus there was a picture of his…anus…

Dear Kami, how sick can you get?

Oddly enough, the same thought was running through Gohan's head.

Hey, great minds think alike.

"Well, that's an interesting exhibit," the demi-saiyan said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Of course it is Mountain Boy," Sharpner said. "With all of the amazing advancements by the Great Hercule Satan in the scientific field, you must be impressed. Just the thought that gravity is a big reason why these planets orbit each other is beyond ingenious."

Practically everyone in the vicinity stopped. The clouds in the sky stopped; the planets stopped their rotations; even the Nameks stopped what they were doing. Had Sharpner actually said something smart?

"Now why don't we go visit the dinosaur exhibit," the suddenly brilliant Sharpner said, leading the small group of teens into the next room.

"Uhh, Gohan?" said Videl. "Do you have any idea what's going on with Sharpner?"

The demi-saiyan just shook his head. "I have absolutely no clue."

"At least we're in the same boat."

Meanwhile, the blond in question was smirking in triumph. After a long study session from "Satan's Science for the Growing Martial Artist," Sharpner pretty much knew everything there was to know about the exhibits of Hercule's museum.

Hold on a sec, a teenager actually studied willingly? What is wrong with this picture?

'At the rate things are going, Videl will soon be mine,' the blond boy thought, snickering at the thought. Finally, he had found a way to outdo his rival.

It was then he stopped. What was this?

Seriously, what was this?

Before the poor blond, skeletons of extinct dinosaurs covered the room. While the dinos weren't a problem, it was just the sudden insert of new exhibits that caught Sharpner off guard.

While the Satansaurus skeleton wasn't troubling (it was a small dino that stood on two legs with a fro growing from its skull, just so you know), it was the several others that were the problem.

Dinosaurs of all shapes and sizes, standing on two legs or four, and different characteristics surrounded the Satansaurus. There was a four legged one with this weird, spiky skull; its spikes pointing in every which way. Another was a larger, two legged dino with a flame like skull. Then there were a couple dinos with smooth round skulls, though one of them had a third eye socket. There was even one skeleton that had a greenish tint to it, along with small antennas. Also, a smaller flying dino skeleton hovered above all, its spiky skull somewhat different from the four legged version of it. Where had all of these new specimens come from??

"Hey, they put up new skeletons!" one of the students exclaimed, causing a rush of excitement from the other teens. Soon, Sharpner was the only one standing by the door, completely baffled. He had practically memorized every single thing about this museum, just so he could show up Mountain Boy in the smarts department, and somebody had to throw him a curve. Did Kami hate him or something?

Sorry, Kami is indisposed of at the moment. Mr. Popo found out he had a stomachache.

"What…what is all of this?" the blond teen asked.

"Apparently they got new exhibits," Videl said as she walked passed him, holding Gohan's hand.

"I wonder what they all are?" the Son boy asked, curiously looking at the names of some of the dinos. "Vegesuarus? Gokeratops? Interesting names."

"Yeah, no kidding. Just like that Gohanodon and Picosaurus"

Those last few comments nearly made Sharpner burst into tears. All of his hard work, useless. Why, oh why did it have to come to this? What had he ever done to deserve this humiliation?

Hmmm, does anyone care to make a list?

As despair worked itself into Sharpner's being, another feeling wormed itself into him as well. He wouldn't let this little set back deter him from accomplishing his goal. He would win Videl over and defeat Son Gohan like all the other kids that weren't graced with his charming good looks. Oh yes, the day of reckoning would come; the blond was sure of it.

Just as he was sure that two plus two equaled twenty two.

Ha, that loser. Everyone knows that two plus two equals five. What a baka.

Well, just to sum up the rest of this chapter, the teacher came back from his…pit stop…with slurred language and a little tipsy. After ordering all the kids back on the buses, they all went roller skating where a few kids ended up breaking a couple arms and legs; and yes, Sharpner was one of the few that broke both arms and legs. All and all, a good trip.

/sigh/ they just don't do field trips like they use to.

* * *

To dbzfan952: How little faith you have in our little Sharpner. True it is justified but who knows what can happen? This chapter should explain it...maybe...


	23. A Quack For the Lamest

It was just a normal school day, or at least as normal as it got at OSH. Nothing weird had happened, no teachers were PMSing, Videl didn't have to stop bad guys from doing bad things, and Sharpner was being Sharpner.

Wait a minute.

Standing in the middle of the gym, his eyes focused on a wall, the blond boy was concentrating his overworked brain on something for the passed fifteen minutes. Whether he was succeeding or not, had yet to be determined.

That was until Gohan showed up.

"Hey Harpner," the saiyan greeted.

"Silence, Mountain Boy; I'm busy," Harpner said, his eyes trained to the wall.

"Uhh, what are you looking at?" Gohan said a bit uncomfortably.

Harpner…whoops, I mean Sharpner, sighed. "If you must know, I'm using my X-ray vision to watch the girls in the locker room taking a shower. Now buzz off."

After a few seconds, something dawned on the boy. "Hey, my name's Sharpner baka."

"Uhhh, okay?" was Gohan's response, a little lost from where that came from. Looking at the wall Sharpner was "looking" through, the demi-saiyan realized something.

"Uhh, Sharpner? That's the boy's locker room."

As those words traveled down the blond's ear and into his brain, the picture of very attractive girls taking a shower was replaced with muscle bound guys, each one, oddly enough, facing towards Sharpner with their packages in plain sight.

"AHHHHHHHH!! MY EYES!!" Sharpner screamed as his hands covered his eyes. "IT BURNS!! MY EYES ARE BURNING!! I'M BLIND!!"

Suddenly, Sharpner took off running, still covering his "injured" eyes, leaving Gohan to watch him with a bewildered look on his face. That look soon changed as Sharpner ran head on into a wall, stopping his blind escape, and causing the boy to fall to the ground. "That looked like it hurt."

Oh look everyone, we have Sherlock Holmes in our midst. Everyone give him a hand.

* * *

Videl was sitting in a small waiting area, staring at the wall out of pure boredom. She had already read all the magazines and the secretary was too busy talking to her boyfriend on the phone to be of any conversational use.

Sighing, the daughter of Satan looked at the door of the doctor she was seeing; a Dr. Evelyn Bed. From all that she heard, the woman was a very good shrink and people were not disappointed in the work she had done for them. Though some of her methods were a bit unorthodox, she was considered the best.

'And she better be after making me wait all this time,' Videl thought. Obviously, patience wasn't her strong point.

Now you may be asking yourself, why would Videl be going to a shrink?

Well, to start off, something had been troubling her for sometime. Namely, she was feeling something very weird inside her and she wanted help with it. What ever it was though, it involved her saiyan counterpart.

Suddenly the door to Dr. Bed's office opened. "Would Ms. Videl Satan come in?" a kind voice said from within the room.

Standing up, the Satan girl strode into the office and was surprised that the room was bigger than the waiting room. Hell, it was at least three times as big.

I just knew those doctors were holding out on us.

Sitting in a comfy leather chair, a middle aged woman in a blouse and long skirt was writing on a pad of paper, her eyes focus from behind her glasses. A minute later, the woman looked up and smile. "Hello, I'm Dr. Evelyn Bed. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Yeah, same here," Videl said as she walked over to another comfy looking chair, sitting down in it.

"So Ms. Satan, may I call you Videl?" Dr. Bed asked.

"Sure," Videl confirmed.

"So Videl, what brings you to my office?" the woman asked.

Blowing air out of her mouth, the Satan girl began "Well you see—"

"Has someone ever made you feel uncomfortable?" Dr. Bed interrupted.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Videl asked, confused.

"Has anyone ever touched you inappropriately?"

"What? No, why would you—"

"Have your parents ever hit you?"

"Lady, I—"

"Is your household abusive?"

"If you don't let me answer—"

"Is your father an oppressive man?"

"STOP IT!!" Videl shouted. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHAT KIND OF PERSON ASKS THESE QUESTIONS?!"

Dr. Bed, however, just wrote in her little note pad, nodding her head every once in awhile.

"Hey, did you hear me?" Videl demanded, anger prominent on her face.

Suddenly, the doctor spoke. "You're having deep feelings for someone but you not sure if you have them. It scares you a bit but you're willing to find out what these feelings are. Did I miss anything?"

Videl sat in the chair stunned, her mouth open from shock. How did she figure that out?

Seriously, how did she do that?

"Videl?"

"Huh?"

"Did I miss anything?"

"No, you got it," Videl said, still a bit dazed.

"Well, there isn't much I can do for you now. You must do the rest of the work and it'll come out fine," Dr. Bed said with the utmost confidence.

"Uhhh, thanks?" Videl said.

"Now then, you may go to the front desk and take care of the bill. I believe I have another client coming."

"Yes ma'am," the Satan girl said before leaving.

Shortly after…more like half an hour later…the shrink called in the next client.

Slowly, the door opened and in walked Erasa, who was feeling a little nervous being here.

Finally, that girl is getting the help that she so desperately needs.

"So Erasa, what can I do for you today?" Dr. Bed asked.

The little blonde girl fidgeted before saying "Let's see here, where do I—"

"Have you had sex before?" the doctor interrupted.

"Huh? What does—"

"Is your father living with you or did he leave you at an early age?"

"My father still—"

"How many dolls do you have?"

"Uhh, I have—"

"When was your last period?"

"Hey! That's—"

"Have you ever seen any porn before?"

Erasa was stunned. Who was this lady? What kind of questions were these? Even though she was the token dumb blonde and recently elected president of the Fangirls of OSH, even she knew that there was something very wrong with what this shrink was asking of her.

It was the sudden silence that alerted the girl to the lack of very personal questions being fired from the doctor. Curious, Erasa looked to the older woman. "Uhh, Dr. Bed?"

"You have feelings for someone but they have their attention on someone else. You're not sure what you need to do, yet you feel as if you need to draw their attention to you in some form or fashion. Is that accurate?" the wacky doctor said.

With a similar look on her face to Videl's only a short time before, all the blonde girl could do was nod her head.

"Well, I say you give it your best shot to win this guy over. You look like a fairly attractive young woman so it shouldn't be a problem."

A smile appeared on Erasa's face. "Thank you Dr. Bed."

"No problem. Just stop by the front desk on your way out."

Nodding, the blonde girl left the office, almost skipping. Yet another soul benefiting from the wise counsel of Dr. Bed.

Seriously, how is she coming up with this stuff?

After waiting an hour this time, Dr. Bed called in her last client of the day.

And in the door walked Sharpner.

Oh boy, she's gonna have her hands full with this one.

"Hello Sharpner, I believe this is the first time we've met," Dr. Bed greeted.

"Yeah, it is," Sharpner said. "So Doc, I have a—"

"What did you have for lunch?"

"Ehh, I think it was a—"

"When was the last time you kissed a girl?"

"Uhh, last Tuesday I think. Why?"

"Do you work out to compensate for you lack of size?"

"Hey! What's that supposed—"

"Did your father ever beat you?"

"Lady, what the—"

"What would you do for a Klondike bar?"

"What are you—"

"How long did it take for you to grow your hair out?"

"Almost a year. What are you trying to say?"

This time, Dr. Bed didn't say anything; only writing in her notepad.

"Hey Doc, I asked you a question," Sharpner said.

"One second," Dr. Bed replied.

Sharpner scowled. Who did this lady think she was? Didn't she know who she was making wait? He was Sharpner, the most prized guy on the planet, right after Mr. Satan of course.

And they say I'm delusional.

Finally, the shrink started talking. "As I can see it, you were dropped on your head as an infant, leading to severe brain damage that you seem to adapted to. You still are mad at your father because he wouldn't play catch with you one day and have attempted to show him what he's been missing. You hold yourself above others because they are inferior to you. Is there anything I've left off?"

Once again, the same shocked look that Videl and Erasa had was on Sharpner's face. How could this women figure all of that out?

Really, seriously, how did she do that?

"I…I…how did you know that? How could you know that?" Sharpner said, still stunned.

Hold on a second, Sharpner was dropped on his head as a baby? Wow, that makes a lot of sense.

"It's just my job, Sharpner. Now if you would stop by the front desk on your way out, my secretary will fix you up for today's session."

Nodding, Sharpner walked out of the room in a daze. Meanwhile, Dr. Bed just continued writing on that notepad of hers. After awhile, she stood up and left her office, shutting everything down before she went home. In all her years of practice, she hadn't had such a successful day as this. Helping three kids with their problems wasn't something anyone could do nowadays. Heck, there was this one kid who had gone crazy after trying to fit in at some school some years back. He would always be the one that she couldn't help.

Ehh, well, at least we know who that kid was.

* * *

To dbzfan952: Yeah, kinda amazing how the guy decided to actually study. It's better than me, that's for sure. But at least I returned him to his usual self again.


	24. The Fangirls Strike Back

Hey Lollibear06, I got that joke you and I were talking about in here. Hopefully its meaning is brought right lol. Either that or a bunch of people are gonna get creamed with a bag of hammers.

* * *

The sound of feet stomping on the ground could be heard throughout the city; the constant marching alerting to all that something was up. Yet, all the citizens knew what was going on.

And here's a hint: it's not a parade.

It was that time of the year, the time when the school opened its doors at midday and ushered all of its prisoners to Satan City Park, the location of the glorious school barbeque.

Hold on, now why would there be marching?

Well, as many of you high school people very well know, the teachers never seemed to figure out that their students had grown into responsible adults that were smart enough to not run out into the middle of the street and get hit by an 18-wheeler…wait, that actually happened? Uhh…never mind.

Anyways, if anyone were to look to the source of all that feet stomping, they would see a long, single filed line of the OSH students as they made the trek to the park; the one that was conveniently located two blocks away.

However, once the students actually laid foot on the soft green grass, that military discipline that the school forced down their throats daily instantly disappeared as each kid would run off and act like an idiot.

Uhh, I don't think they're acting.

Yet, there would always be those kids that were always somewhat mature and actually act like visiting the park was no big deal. That's where Gohan and Videl found themselves as they casually strolled into the large piece of habitat.

"So what are we doing here?" Gohan asked.

Videl sighed. "This is the school's idea of a free day. They take all of the students and let them loose here in the park while the teachers barbeque hamburgers and hot dogs. They do it every year so it's kinda boring."

Gohan took in a deep breath. "Well, if that's the case, I think I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me when they start handing out food." With that said, the demi-saiyan dropped to the ground like a rock, landing on his back with his hands behind his head.

I wonder how much practice it took for him to do that.

Videl just looked at the Son as he started to rest peacefully. Allowing herself to show more emotion than a corpse, the Satan girl let out a small smile as she watched the sleeping saiyan.

And then an arm began to snake its way around her waist.

Instantly, Videl flung her elbow back, slamming it into the face of the foolish soul that dared to touch her. When the sound of a body hitting the ground reached her ears, the pig-tailed girl turned around and was not surprised at what she saw.

Yep, you guessed it, there laying on the ground was Sharpner. When would that guy ever learn?

Well, at the rate he's going, it'll take about nine thousand three hundred and twenty seven years for him to learn something…and that's being conservative.

Staring down at the fallen Sharpner, Videl wore a look of disgust. If she had it her way, she'd bury him in a fifteen foot hole and be done with him forever, though there did stand a chance he would dig his way out. She'd figure out someway to stop that.

Turning around to look at Gohan again, she was surprised to see the boy gone. Almost as if he had gotten up and left while she had her back turn; but that didn't seem right. By now, she knew that the saiyan would've told her he was going somewhere just so he wouldn't be rude.

Hmm, so that's the manners thing I keep hearing about.

Looking at the plot of ground, that she knew Gohan was last seen, her highly advanced eyesight managed to catch something odd. It seemed the grass was flattened by the body of the missing demi-saiyan when he laid down on it. That didn't surprise her though, it was the fact that a trail of flattened grass led away from that spot that caught her attention.

Oh goody, we have a trail folks!

Narrowing her eyes, Videl began to figure a couple things out. There weren't too many people that would try to drag Son Gohan away with his very well known girlfriend standing a few feet away. Only one group of people could have done this. Only one group of people that were ballsy enough to try. Only one group of people that were dumber than a sack of Sharpner being beaten by a sack of hammers for it took someone of that dumbness to commit such an act.

And now we go to commercial break.

* * *

Gohan was uncomfortable.

When he had laid down for a nap, he had surprisingly found a nice, comfortable piece of ground to lay on, causing him to drift off into the land of candy canes and sugar puffs. Even if they were a dream, they did taste pretty good.

But then he suddenly felt something rough on his back and then the feeling of something holding him to that surface. Not a very nice feeling if you know what I mean.

You do know what I mean, right?

Slowly, the demi-saiyan opened his eyes and started to check out his surroundings.

What he found would haunt his nightmares forever…well, not forever…more like a week.

Yes, sad but true, our saiyan buddy found himself tied to a tree, surrounded by two dozen fangirls…and each one of them had their attention clearly trained on him.

Talk about being between a rock and a hard place.

Fear began working its way through Gohan's body. The last time he had been in this situation, he at least had a lake he could run on and a waterfall to swim up. This time he was a bit trapped. On one hand, he could easily break the ropes tying him down, but then have the girls even more obsessed with him than they already were.

Is that even possible?

On the other hand, he could just sit back and hope that some miracle would happen and he would be saved from the impending fate that he would suffer at the hands of these fangirls.

As you can already guess, he chose the latter…baka.

"Help!" Gohan cried out, hoping against hope that someone would hear him and come to his rescue. "Somebody, anybody, HELP!!"

And just as that last cry came out, a pretty pink handkerchief was placed in his mouth, and tied around his head, silencing him.

"Now Gohan, you knew this was coming," one of the fangirls said. "There's no use resisting now…we have you right where we want you."

"Besides, it's not like it's gonna hurt you," another fangirl piped up. "As a matter of fact, you should probably enjoy it."

Staring at the determined girls, his eyes wide with fear, the demi-saiyan tried to struggle against the ropes, making gagging sounds as the gag in his mouth disrupted his use of intelligible language. That first choice was looking very tempting right now.

Slowly, the fangirls began to descend towards the increasingly frightened Son, their lustful looks becoming more and more apparent with each step.

"Hold it right there," a voice said out of nowhere.

Holy crap, I nearly pissed my pants.

Stopping where they were, each and every fangirl turned around and snarled at the person that stood before then.

Videl Satan.

With her arms crossed in front of her chest, a scowl on her face, the Satan girl's temper was quickly building up. Those stupid fangirls had kidnapped her boyfriend and tied him to a tree, just so they could have their way with him. Well, there was only one person that could do that to him and it wasn't them; nope; no sire Bob; nuh uh; not in this lifetime.

Hissing like territorial cats, one of the girls hissed "Back off Videl, he's ours."

This time, Videl smirked. "Last time I check, he was going out with me; so that means ya'll are out of luck. Now take a hike."

"You take a hike!" shouted a fangirl. "We're not going anywhere."

Videl's smirk deepened. "I was hoping you would say that," she said as she started cracking her knuckles.

What resulted next was a highly insane catfight that lasted all of three minutes…seriously, that's what the official time score says…resulting in the complete and utter defeat of the fangirls.

Many of them were sticking out of trees while others had sticking out of the ground with their legs sticking up. Others were sprawled all over the battlefield with injuries of all sorts; ranging from broken legs to torn off limbs to large gashes to torn fashion designed clothes to ruined mascara.

Videl, on the other hand, didn't have any injuries; not even her hair or clothes were messed up in the slightest.

Talk about kicking ass.

Smiling after her latest victory, the Satan girl made her way to her trapped boyfriend, who had a look of relief on his face. That miracle came to save him, just like the story mentioned earlier.

Removing the gag, the saiyan immediately launched into a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long speech of thanks. Videl, for her part, mostly ignored the whole thing until the demi-saiyan said "Is there anyway I can thank you?"

Oh sure, that's the part she listens to.

"Would you do anything?" Videl asked slyly.

"Yeah, anything," Gohan answered.

"Anything I want, you'd do, am I right?"

"One hundred percent. Just name it."

"Alright then," Videl said as she leaned into him, her head just centimeters from his.

"I want you to teach me how to fly."

"Done," Gohan said. With such a simple request, it was practically an easy way out for the gracious saiyan. He had honestly thought the girl before him had other, more devious ideas in mind.

"And one more thing…"

Whoops, spoke too soon.

* * *

To dbzfan952: Yeah, the two blonds could've used the counseling much eariler, though I don't think it would've helped them. Must be too far gone in their idiocy.


	25. Evil Plots of Two and a Half Blonds

Once again, the school was bubbling with excitement. For the first time in a long time, a whole two decades to be precise, the school was going to have a carnival for the students. Now why, after twenty years, would they bother doing something like that?

The answer: the teachers had given up long ago about teaching the brats…err, I mean students.

Now you have to understand, the original reason why they stopped having a carnival at OSH was because the last bunch of students had nearly destroyed the whole thing. What started as a kid lighting a leaf on fire resulted with the whole thing burning to a crisp.

So it is true, it take only one baka to ruin it for the rest of us. Stupid baka.

But now, considering that the teachers were willing to let this batch of students run amok in this thing, you have to think that this group of teens were too much to handle in a classroom, thus a break was needed from the insanity of dealing with them.

Damn it, haven't these teachers heard of DAEP?

And now, since the history lesson is over, we now go to our _favorite_ group of teens to get their take on this unexpected turn of events.

"I can't believe it, no class for a whole day while we get to run wild. Isn't it amazing guys?" Erasa exclaimed ever so enthusiastically.

Good god that sounds lame.

"Erasa, doesn't every one do that everyday?" Gohan asked.

"Well, yeah, but this is different."

"How so?"

"Don't try to overwork your brain, Mountain Boy," Sharpner said. "This is one thing you'll never understand."

"But…but…" Gohan stuttered. How could this be? Why wouldn't he be able to understand this, what ever this thing was?

Erasa patted the saiyan on his back. "Sharpner's right…for once. This is just something us public school kids have lived with since the dawn of time."

"Hey! What's that 'for once' thing mean?"

"It means you're never right," Videl said, who had been previously ignoring the whole conversation.

"Oh come on, I've been right before," Sharpner protested.

"Such as?"

"Umm…uhhh…ehhh, you know, that one time," Sharpner said, not quite sure of the last time he was right.

"And that one time was?" Videl inquired.

"Umm, when I told Gohan he would never understand what Erasa said."

"Sharpner…that happened a minute ago."

"See, I was right."

"But that doesn't count," Erasa butted in. "It has to be a time other than that one."

"Since when was that a rule?" Sharpner countered.

"Since always," Erasa answered.

Before Sharpner could retort, Gohan put his hand on the blond's shoulder. "Give it up, you'll never beat these girls with brain power."

"Hey, Sharpner never gives up, never! Sharpner always fight to the bitter end, no matter what!"

"Like that time that boogeyman showed up at my house?"

Sharpner's eyes widened as Videl busted out laughing. "Uhh, well, that's an exception."

"Just like you being right?" Videl said through her laughter.

Sharpner's eyes narrowed. "How does that blond guy and me being right have anything to do with each other?"

"Besides you getting in a bed with him?"

"You…you swore you'd never tell anyone that."

"Well, I guess I lied."

"You got in bed with him?" Erasa asked. "Sharpner, I had no idea you were that way."

"No Erasa, I'm not like that."

"But you got in bed, willingly, with another guy."

And on and on that train of thought went with the blonds. In the meantime, the two dark headed ones had managed to make a clean escape as the blonds debated the sexual orientation that was Sharpner.

"Hey, no wonder you keep hitting on Videl. Trying to prove otherwise huh?"

"Erasa!"

Wow, Erasa actually made a pretty good point there.

Anyways, after the swift escape, Gohan decided to ask his partner in crime about this school event. "So Videl, what exactly will be at this carnival?"

"Oh, you know, game booths, kiddie rides, that kind of stuff," Videl answered.

"Oh, that sounds like fun."

"You're gonna win me some prizes, right Gohan?"

"Yeah, sure," the demi-saiyan said, scratching the back of his head.

"Good boy."

* * *

Hercule Satan was not a happy camper.

Nope, not a happy camper at all.

Now why, you may ask, was the world champion not happy?

Well for one, his latest magazine shoot had screwed up his signature fro and now he had all kinds of things sticking out of it. Things such as ribbons, curlers, sticks, bird nests, rubber duckies, the lost city of Atlantis, an action figure of him with voice likeness and kung fu grip (I still want one of those), and a paper cup were among the mess.

But that was besides the point. Due to a loophole in the contract he made his daughter sign regarding boys, there was no way he could disrupt the blossoming relationship between the Satan girl and the twig…I mean, skinny kid.

And now a brief moment to explain the contract. As ya'll are pretty aware of the "no boy unless he's stronger than me" policy of Hercule's regarding Videl's boy relationships, he had her sign a written document when she was twelve that legally binded the girl to the policy. However, there was a loophole in the deal, one that currently allowed Videl to date this country bumpkin.

And now you know why the champ wasn't very happy.

Sitting in his comfy chair, his elbows propped on the arms with his fingers entwined together in front of his face, the Satan plotted to end the relationship.

Wow, talk about being sinister.

As Satan wallowed in his dark thoughts, one of his lawyers came into the room, holding a page from the thousand word document that was the dating contract. "Sir, I think I found something."

"What it is?" Hercule said.

"Well, I found a way that could possibly end your daughter's relationship. You see right here it says that if you are able to defeat Videl's boyfriend at anytime during the relationship, she must be rid of the boy."

"Really?" Hercule said, jumping from his chair and snatching the page. Reading the paper, a smirk worked itself onto the champ's face. "Perfect," was all he said.

An evil laugh was soon heard by everyone on the block, followed by a hoarse cough and gasping for air. Noise complaints were soon filed and a citation placed on the Satan manor.

Okay, I think I need to stop reading my law book.

* * *

The room was dark, hardly a ray of light within it. At best, you could make out the outline of certain objects, like a dresser or a bed.

And I just tripped over somebody's shoe.

However, there was someone on the bed, laying down on it as they looked up at the ceiling, deep in though. Now who could this person be you ask?

Yes, you guessed it, it was Sharpner. Wait, you didn't guess that? Oh…well…tough.

Now, since we all know that it was Sharpner deep in thought, it didn't take a genius to know what he was thinking about.

"I'm hungry."

Uhh, never mind.

Sharpner's hunger aside, the boy was contemplating on how to rid himself of the annoyance that was Son Gohan. So far, that Mountain Boy was beating him in obtaining Videl's favor, something that should've belonged to him and him alone. Now, our blond boy here didn't mind competition, just as long as he was certain he would kick ass and take names.

So far, he's been kicked in the ass and given his name out more than he would like to think about; but of course he was thinking about it.

As far as this boy knew, about the only way to break up the couple, that should've been him and his one true love, was to prove that he was stronger than the hated Son boy. There was just one problem and ya'll pretty much know what that one is. In case you don't I'll tell you.

The Mountain boy just kept beating him.

But that wouldn't last, oh no it wouldn't. He would beat this nerd soundly at the carnival. It was such a perfect plan too. What that plan is you ask?

He's not telling anyone. Wait a second, why won't he tell me? Stupid Sharpner.

* * *

Similar thoughts that were running through the beloved…well, almost beloved Sharper's head were also running through a certain blond's head as well. For those who don't know, that blond would be Erasa.

Huh, I guess it's true then. Blonds do share a brain.

However, there were slight differences in Erasa's thinking. For one, it wasn't Gohan that was beating her but Videl. Somehow, that Satan girl had ensnared the Son boy and she didn't like it. So of course, she plotted ways on how to win over the boy interest of hers and send Videl packing…probably backpacking…in the mountains…along with rock climbing…and a little pink umbrella…and a cute outfit as well…

Okay, that enough Erasa thinking for a bit.

However, due to some unnatural force, the author of this crappy fic must carry on with the airhead's thinking. Stupid unnatural force…

"Hmm, how do you win a man over?" Erasa said out loud. Yeah, she could think of a couple of things, namely perverted ones, that could win over just about any straight man and possibly some eunuchs. However, those didn't seem to work on this country boy she was after. So what else could she think of?

Food seemed to be his undying concern but she didn't think she could cook as much as he tended to eat. Martial arts might be something but she didn't know a right hook from an uppercut or a submission hold from a head lock. So she was practically clueless as to what to do.

But that wouldn't stop her, not in a million years, however long that was. She would defeat her rival and claim her prize. And she was sure she could do it, just as she was sure that ketchup didn't come from tomatoes.

* * *

To dbzfan952: Seems like you're harder on Sharpner than I am lol. I've gotten so many comments about how I must not like the boy or something. Hammers was a joke from LolliBear06. If you remember the last chapter, I mentioned something about a bag of hammers. That's the hammers thing.


	26. Ninja Wannabees

Once again, I'm giving out a chapter dedication. However, before I dedicate away, I'd like to give some back story for it. Waaaay back when I finished posting SOL (Survival of the Lamest), I had asked for ideas for a sequel and this just so happened to be one of the ideas given to me.

And now, after 25 chapters worth of waiting...and a couple of sentences...I dedicate this chapter to LolliBear06. Thanks for the idea and I hope you enjoy it.

On a side note, with the last chapter, this story has hit the 300 review mark, the first ever for me. Thank you all who have reviewed this fic, I truly appreciate your support throughout the postings. This wouldn't be possible without all of you.

* * *

Big balls of fire exploded in the air, showering the people on the ground in light. It would've been flames but they all died out on the way down.

Those poor, poor flames.

In case you haven't realized it by now, those exploding fireballs were the work of well crafted, kid tested, mother approved fireworks. Yes, yes, today was the day of the carnival. The day that all of OSH released its students to become what they always feared they'd become.

Teenagers.

Uhh, oh wait, a little late for that.

As the fireworks blew up in the sky so high above that only stoners could reach, the newly freed teenagers went wild. Before them, booths of typical carnival things were placed right next to each other. Everything from dart throwing to basketball shooting to whack a mole, this carnival had everything; even a Ferris wheel and roller coaster.

Oh sure, they get all the good things.

Walking down the man made pathways, his hand firmly held by cement to the girl next to him, Gohan marveled at all he saw. It wasn't every day he saw something like this. Usually it was some island getting blown up with some maniacal mad man laughing insanely before he blew up the next one.

To sum it up, he didn't get to see very much.

For Videl, this wasn't anything she wasn't use to. About the only thing that differed with this carnival and all the others was the fact she was spending the time with someone other than Erasa and Sharpner. Speaking of which, where did those two blonds get to?

That, my friends, is the question of the day. Any volunteers?

Well, that thought didn't bother our dark haired couple as they walked by the hammer scale. This, however, wasn't an ordinary hammer scale; this was the Great Hercule Hammer Scale! Little signs that depicted the amount of strength it took to reach that point by the way they went all the way up to the top, with a big sign proclaiming Hercule strength if the weight hit the bell.

Wow, so cool isn't it?

And just to prove how Hercule like the scale was, a man dressed up like Hercule called on people to test their strength, the gi, Hercule face mask, and fro completely real. As Videl and Gohan walked by, the Hercule dressed man watch the two from the eye holes in his mask. Slowly, his burly arm rose up and he pulled his mask off to reveal…

Hercule Satan.

'Just you wait boy, you won't be hanging around my daughter once I have my way with you,' the almighty champ thought. That was until someone who had failed to his the bell tried to give back the hammer and dropped it on the champ's foot.

"YEEEOWWWWW!!" Hercule cried, jumping on his one good foot as he blew on his nearly broken one.

Of course, nobody paid attention. He was just some guy dressed up like the great Mr. Satan, so no cared.

But that little fact didn't stop Hercule, not by a long shot. Picking up the hammer, the martial artist raced after the couple, fully intent on bashing the Son boy's head in with the hammer.

Closer and closer, Satan came to his prey, swinging the mallet with all his might to nail the saiyan in the head.

"Hey look, a quarter!"

Bending down, Gohan reached for the lonely quarter, the hammer passing over his head. However, due to the power involved with the swing, the momentum caused Hercule to spin with the hammer, soon becoming a small tornado.

He sure is gonna be dizzy after that one.

Yet, the Satan man's misfortune didn't end there. Though spinning tornado like, his feet soon started acting like a drill bit, causing the champ to dig a hole until he was completely underground.

Just like in my Saturday morning cartoons.

* * *

Standing on top of a power line pole that was standing in the middle of the fair grounds for some odd reason, Sharpner surveyed the area, looking for his target.

Hey, how did he get up there?

Staring at the crowd, the blond boy waited patiently until he saw his target arrive and right on time too.

The cotton candy vendor.

Whoops, wrong guy.

Son Gohan.

There we go, much better.

Reaching into his hair, Sharpner pulled out his ever reliable ally; the one with enough power to subdue an entire population of wild boars high on mushrooms.

Hmmm, looks like Gohan was dealing to more than just Yamcha.

Oh great, now where was I? Hmm, reach into hair…ally…oh there we are. Pulling out his greatest tool, the blond boy prepared his attack, his ally ready to be used.

Duct tape.

Yes my friends, the only thing that had enough power to tie a sugar high group of first graders to fence posts, the almighty duct tape was back and ready for action.

Letting out a war cry, Sharpner dove off his post, flying towards the Son boy.

That's when gravity worked against him…stupid gravity.

Our poor Sharpner…he never stood a chance…especially after eating that chilidog.

"AHHHHHH!!" Sharpner cried as he fell to the ground, landing in a pile of garbage that had been strategically been placed there.

Well, that's two contestants down. Who else is next?

* * *

A pair of blue eyes watched as our oblivious couple explored the carnival grounds. Not liking the apparent closeness of the two, something akin to insanity…err, I mean anger, was written on the blue eyed person's face. Now who could this blue eyed mystery man/woman/person be?

If any of ya'll guessed Erasa, then good for you.

Now, while the two previous attackers were aiming to take down Gohan, Erasa was obviously gunning for Videl. Otherwise, there would be gossip running around about the two being closer than what they actually were...if you catch my drift...

Not exactly the gossip she wanted running about her, not that anybody wants to be gossiped about. Or did she want some kind of gossip about her? Yet another mystery of Erasa.

However, Erasa had a much more well thought out plan than Hercule or Sharpner had. And she was just about to put it into action in three…two…one…

"Ahhhh, my leg! Oh my leg! I've fallen and I can't get up!" Erasa cried out overdramatically.

Wow…that's cheesier than…than…cheese.

Of course, Erasa had positioned her so called injury scene right in front of Gohan and Videl; and like the plan was supposed to go, Gohan went over and knelt down before Erasa, feeling her leg to see what kind of injury she had.

What a nice boy.

Feeling the blond girl's shin, the saiyan asked, "Does it hurt here?"

"No, it's a bit higher," Erasa responded as Videl watched overhead.

Moving his hands to her knee, Gohan said again "Does it hurt here?"

"It's still higher."

"And here?" Gohan said as his hands felt the girl's thigh.

"Almost there. Try higher."

By now, Videl knew exactly what was going on. She had seen Erasa do this stunt before when she wanted a guy's attention, whether they were single or not. However, the Satan girl knew exactly how to handle this situation.

_Videl style._

"Hey Gohan? How about I check her?" Videl said, kneeling next to the demi-saiyan, much to Erasa's dismay.

And even more to the blond's dismay, the daughter of Satan began feeling the girl's thigh where her boyfriend had left off…and she wasn't being too gentle about it.

"Ahhhhhh!! That hurts!!" Erasa cried out as Videl dug her fingers into the leg, almost drawing blood.

Well, that's it…I won't be letting that girl checking me for injuries. All she needs now is a bag of salt to…uhhh, never mind.

"Well, I think I found the spot," Videl announced. "Here Erasa, let me help you to the medical center."

"Noooo!! Erasa nearly screeched. If she knew her friend as well as she did, she knew that she wouldn't make it to the place in one piece; hell, she would be lucky to make it in three.

Such optimism.

"Don't worry, I can get there, no problem," Erasa said as she leapt to her feet and nearly ran into the sunset.

Hey, it's not that late!

Blinking his eyes, Gohan looked down at Videl in bewilderment. "That was…weird."

Videl just gave a small smile. "Don't let it trouble you. We came here to have a good time so let's have one!"

Grinning, Gohan helped the Satan girl up and the both of them carried on with their exploration of the carnival, looking for some rigged game to challenge and have Gohan beat on his first try.

At least, that's how all the other fics do it.

* * *

To dbzfan952: You can't just not beat the kid down. It's like an instinct or something. And as you can tell, the carnival...isn't done lol. Much more chaos on the way.


	27. The Ultimate Game: Thumb Wrestling

And like I've probably told many of you reviewers, I am running out of ideas on this thing. As much as I love writing and posting this for ya'll, this can't keep going on for long, so get ready for a nasty break up...

But not today.

Fortunately for ya'll, Anonymous Void saved the day by giving me a couple of ideas to keep this thing going, at least for another chapter. So when ever you get the chance, go thank him.

* * *

"Here ya go sir! Another stuffed panda!" one of the booth operators shouted out to the masses.

Taking the bear, Gohan handed it to Videl, who already had four of them safely tucked underneath her arms. After walking around the carnival, both had decided to play a few games; and as with any Gohan high school fic, practically everything he did, he won something for.

It was incredible to say the least. When they came to a dart throwing booth, the saiyan first few darts hit every balloon in sight. Then to make it more challenging, the Son boy had blind folded himself and turned around to where his back was facing the board of balloons and threw the darts. As you can guess, he hit them all.

Show off.

The next booth the couple raided was a ring toss game. Once again, to make it challenging, the saiyan walked to the booth opposite the ring toss booth, and threw every ring, always landing on its target.

I repeat…show off.

Every booth was falling victim to this insanity. Some booths had to close down for lack of prizes. Cause of that, you just had to know all the kids were depressed…oh wait, there was a booth just like it on the other side of the carnival…never mind.

"Geez Gohan, is there anything you're not good at?" Videl asked as she stuffed the bears into a bag.

Blushing a bit, Gohan mumbled "Just one thing."

"Oh really? What could possibly be the game that the game master can't win?" Videl asked curiously.

As you can guess, the demi-saiyan mumbled his answer incoherently.

"Huh? What did you say?"

Sighing, Gohan decided to get his embarrassment over with and answered clearly, "Thumb wrestling."

A light breeze blew by; a tumble weed rolled past the couple, silence seemed to choke anything that could possibly make a sound.

"Thumb wrestling?" the Satan girl repeated in disbelief.

"Thumb wrestling."

"…Can I see?"

Once again, the demi-saiyan sighed. "Yeah, let me show you."

Reaching out, Gohan wrapped his fingers with Videl's in the traditional thumb wrestling stance; both of their thumbs sticking up, ready to pounce.

"Ready…go," Gohan said as he went for the kill.

It was less than a second but more than a millisecond. Videl's eyes grew wide.

The Satan girl's thumb had pinned down the thumb of the universe's strongest warrior.

"Oh…wow…can we do that again?" Videl asked, still taken back.

"Yeah…we can…" Gohan answered.

After about fifteen more games, each time Videl winning, the daughter of Satan had finally realized that she could beat the Son boy at something.

Who ever it was that invented thumb wrestling was going to get a very generous donation, courtesy of Videl Satan.

"Well, that's good to know," Videl said. "How about we stash these bags of prizes somewhere before we go win some more?"

Taking the opportunity to get away from losing, Gohan agreed. Picking up the bags, the couple went in search of such a place when a loud crash happened behind them.

And like any good Samaritan, they both ignored it.

Aha! A great example of negligence! Just wait till somebody sues them!

At the site of the loud crash, three bodies were entangled with each other. Allow me to back up to explain this mess…wait, you don't want me to? Well, too bad! I'm doing it anyways!

As Gohan and Videl had began their search for a place to stash their prizes, three evil beings had been lurking in the wings, just waiting for a chance to jump the couple.

One of them was our beloved Sharpner. After getting out of the garbage heap he had somehow fallen in, the blond searched for his chief rival and love interest, getting lost a couple times while getting beaten by a little girl in ping pong and nearly getting a stuffed piglet to present as his token of affection to Videl. After finding the couple, he, of course, saw them in a position he didn't like, holding hands as they looked at each other. That very thought infuriated the blond jock and caused him to lunge at the two.

The second part of the mess of bodies was Erasa. If you can remember, she had just escaped Videl's attempt to mangle her perfect skin complexion and well shaped legs. After making sure she had put enough distance between the threatening Satan girl, Erasa had gone in search of the two, finding a sight similar to what Sharpner had found. Not liking what she found, a fit of rage caused the blond girl to attack.

If you hadn't guess by now, the third person of the ball of body parts was Hercule. Managing to dig himself out of the hole he had made, he too went in search of his daughter and the scrawny body she was with. His journey was a bit more harrowing than the blonds as he ran into all sorts of Hercule impersonators, criticized them for doing a bad impersonation, and was chased around the carnival grounds for nearly an hour. When he had finally lost them, the champ had stumbled upon his daughter having one of those mushy romantic moments with that boy; nearly pushing the man to the brink of insanity. As you can guess, his fit of madness caused him to leap at the two.

And with that, you know the whole story. Glad I told ya didn't I?

After fighting against each other, the three managed to separate from each other, muttering aloud how their latest attempt was thwarted. Well, that only lasted until Sharpner and Erasa noticed Hercule.

"Oh my Kami! It's Mr. Satan!" Sharpner shouted, getting on to his hands and knees as he worshiped the very ground the man sat on.

Erasa just looked at the man with wide eyes. What was he doing here?

Hercule…didn't pay the two teen any mind. He still had one more chance to separate the happy couple he wanted to break up, so he didn't have time to mess with adulating distractions.

Getting up, the man with the afro walked a way, determined to accomplish his goal.

The blonds, however, didn't notice this. Sharpner was still on his hands and knees with his face plastered to the ground while Erasa had been distracted by something shiny.

They don't call them blonds for nothing.

* * *

Gohan and Videl were looking up, their heads bending back to help them.

Now I know what you're thinking, since Videl was so short, this was a normal occurrence for her…wait it wasn't? My bad.

Before the couple, a creepy looking building stood, dull grey cement walls with rackety window shutters composing the structure.

Yes, as you can probably already guess, the building was a haunted house.

Turning her head to the saiyan next to her, Videl smirked. "So Gohan, think you'll be able to keep yourself from wetting your pants?"

Gohan turned to look at the girl. "I think so. I haven't wetted the bed since I was ten."

The Satan girl sweatdropped. "You're kidding, right?"

"Why would I kid about that?"

"…let's just go into the house."

And without further ado and stalling on my part, the couple made their way into the haunted house to face all the cheesy scare tactics of the carnie folk.

However, they wouldn't be alone…

As the two kids walked down the hallway, ignoring all of the fake creepy crawlies and arms that came out of nowhere, they finally veered into a room with mirrors.

Looking into them, the couple wasn't too impressed until one of them let out a blood curling scream.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Has your blood curled yet?

Out of all the people to do that scream, it was the last person you would possible think would do so. Holding her hands to her mouth, her eyes wide with fright, Videl was in between a rock and a hard place.

Let's review why.

One, she had been the person to unleash that god awful scream, the one she had sworn to never make on penalty of chocolate banishment i.e. no more eating chocolate.

Oh the inhumanity!

And two, she was currently looking into a mirror that showed what she would look like as an old woman. Apparently, curly black hair with beady blue eyes and a moustache was what she would look like.

Wait a minute, doesn't that sound like Hercule?

What the Satan girl didn't know, was that the mirror was at a slight angle, completely missing Videl's person as she was too short to be reflected. It did, however, reflect the person behind her.

And as you can guess, that person was Hercule.

"No! I can't be! I grow up to look like my dad!" Videl cried in horror.

That's when the mirror spoke to her. "Hey! I don't look that bad!"

Completely thrown headfirst into the wall of teenage confusion, Videl took off in pursuit of finding her significant other. Hopefully he could calm her down and ensure her that she would never look like a hairy old man when she grew old.

Makes you feel for the guy, doesn't it?

* * *

To dbzfan952: And your prediction was right, they did come back...somewhat. I guess this fic did reach 300 fast; too bad I'm running out of ideas. Shame really.


	28. The Show is Over

Looking all over the room, Gohan was puzzled. Why would a haunted house have a room full of mirrors? What was the point?

A bit ago, he had heard of blood curling scream, but just brushed it off as some sound effect of the place.

You know he's gonna pay for that kind of thinking later.

Looking in another mirror, Gohan saw his same reflection looking at him. Okay, this was getting dull. He needed to find something that would at least get him to the point of thinking about peeing on himself from fright.

Turning to the next one, the saiyan stopped. Out of all the mirrors in this place, this one didn't have the familiar black locks and pale skin that the boy was so accustomed to seeing. Instead, a reflection of a man with green skin and a turban showed back. If Gohan hadn't seen someone like that all of his life, he would've surely yelp or something like that.

"Hey Piccolo!" the saiyan greeted, purely out of reflex.

However, the reflection spoke back. "Hey Kid, how ya doing?"

Gohan paused, his eyes wide. What in the world was the old Namek doing here?

"Piccolo? What are you doing here?"

Piccolo sighed. "I needed to get a job. Dende was tired of having a free loader and wanted me to earn my keep." A brief cough came from the Namek followed the explanation.

Gohan frowned. "That doesn't sound like Dende at all. If anything, that sounds like my mom or Bulma."

Piccolo didn't respond to that, just coughing a bit more.

And it was that cough that alerted the demi-saiyan to the real situation. "You're hiding from Mr. Popo aren't you?"

"…Kid…sometimes you're just too smart for your own good."

Slowly looking around, Gohan didn't see anyone or anything that looked or resembled Popo. "Don't worry Piccolo, I won't tell anyone where you are."

"Thanks Kid, I owe ya one."

However, before Gohan could continue the conversation, a small blur ran right into him, knocking him across the room.

Feeling a pair of arms holding onto him and an interesting body pressing against him, the Son boy became curious as to who was holding him; especially since it wasn't the body of a chibi…or was it?

Looking down, the pig tailed head of Videl's became noticeable. Now what was she doing?

"Gohan?" Videl said in a small voice, surprising the saiyan. "Could you tell me if I'm gonna look like my dad when I'm old?"

Gohan's eyes grew wide. Oh no, not this question again. The last time he had gotten this was when Chichi was wondering if pregnancy made her look fat. Needless to say, the boy ended up spending a month in the wilderness due to the fright of his mother's wrath. Because of that incident, Gohan knew he needed to tread carefully now.

"Uhh, no?"

"Do you really think that?"

"What makes you think you'll look like your dad when you grow up?"

"Well," Videl looked down, a bit embarrassed. "There was this mirror that showed what I'd look like when I get old and it showed me looking like dad."

"Umm, you do know that this place is just a haunted house right?"

Videl's head shot up at that fact, then fell back down to lay on the Son boy's chest. "I feel like an idiot now."

Uh oh, looks like someone's insecuuuuuuuuuuure!

After awhile, the Satan girl soon felt something pressing up against her thigh. Now, there could only be a couple of things that the girl knew it could be, and one of them better not be Sharpner.

Looking down, the black haired girl was relieved to find that Sharpner wasn't down there. However, a certain piece of anatomy was…

That was when Videl noticed something wet touching the top of her head. Moving her hand, she felt the substance and then looked at her hand, seeing blood. Although a bit alarmed, the girl kept herself calm and looked up…

…to see her boyfriend having a nosebleed from finally realizing what kind of body his girlfriend had.

Well if that isn't a story to tell your grandkids, I don't know what is.

* * *

Holding up her brand new cell phone she had just bought twelve minutes ago, Erasa dialed in a number.

Well, what else was she gonna do with it? Text people and take photos and buy new ring tones and…ehhh, yeeeeeeeah.

After waiting for a couple of rings, someone finally picked up. "Yes, hi! I'm a girl at this school carnival and there's this boy being pursued by a demon monster thing. If she leaves the grounds with him, his soul will be lost forever! You've got to save him!" Erasa said into the phone, her voice getting louder as she went on.

After some mumbled replies, the blond shut the phone, terminating the conversation. Everything had gone perfectly. All she had to do was wait…

* * *

After straightening themselves out, Gohan and Videl left the haunted house after being in it for so long.

Hmmm, I know I'm missing something here.

Suddenly, Videl's fist shot out to her side, nailing something in the head as it felt to the ground. Looking to Videl's side, the couple saw that missing thing I was wondering about.

There on the ground was Sharpner with a newly forming black eye appearing.

After staring for a bit, Gohan finally said "I think that's becoming instinctive for you."

"Yeah, I noticed the same thing," Videl replied. "Wanna go get something to eat?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," the Son boy replied. Taking Videl's hand, the couple headed deep into the carnival, looking for something to eat.

What they found was the last thing they wanted to see.

Entering a large open space; booths outlining a large circle as people wandered throughout the circle, going from one part of the area to another. But there was one thing that wasn't moving, standing still like a statue.

A golden statue.

A golden statue of Hercule Satan.

Damn, I drug that out.

Staring with wide eyes, the couple couldn't tell if they were dreaming or actually seeing that blasted thing. Well, that's what they were feeling until the simultaneously pinched each other.

"Ow!"

Well, they're not dreaming anymore.

Looking at each other, a mutual feeling passed between the two. They knew what they had to do.

"Stop right there!"

Startled, the teens looked towards the statue and saw five girls, each in white leotards and short shirts of different colors. Each girl was posing in some odd fashion, completely serious looks on their faces.

Either that or they were just trying to ignore the insane amount of nosebleeds occurring around them.

"Do not step closer Demon!" one of the girls shouted.

"We all know about your soul stealing ways!" another one said.

"A soul belongs to only one person!" yet another girl announced.

"And the soul next to you doesn't belong to you!" one of the other girls cried.

"In the name of the Moon, we will punish you!" the last girl proclaimed, each girl shifting their poses.

All the while, Videl and Gohan could only stare back, sweatdropping. Turning to the boy beside her, the Satan girl said "Gohan, are they—"

"Speak no more your words of deceit Demon!" the girl in the middle interrupted.

Gohan went completely rigid. He knew, oh he knew that was the wrong thing to say to Videl. Just looking at the face the girl was making now was enough proof to the demi-saiyan that all was not well in the land of the Satan girl.

Slowly turning her head, one of her eyes twitching, and a creepy, smile like…smile on her face, Videl said "Did…did you call me a demon?"

"Of course! You're the only evil here within twenty feet!" the girl in the red skirt answered.

Ehh, twenty feet? That's…cutting it close, wouldn't you say?

Lifting her hands in front of her, Videl began cracking her knuckles. "I'm so gonna enjoy pulverizing all of you nitwits…one…by…one…"

"Bring it on!" all five girls shouted, ready for the catfight of the century.

Wait a minute…didn't that happen a couple chapters ago?

All across the carnival grounds, the shouts and screams of girly fighting could be heard all over. If one didn't know better, you'd think that the whole thing was being video taped and put onto some internet site under "The Greatest Cat Fight Ever" or some other lame title.

In the end, Videl stood victorious, but you all knew that would happen.

With a few cuts and bruises, her shirt slightly torn in places as well as the rest of her clothes. The only odd part was that her shoes didn't even show a sign that they had been used at all.

Her opponents…well…let's just say that they hadn't come out as fortunate. Laying in a pile of body parts, the heroic girls…were utterly trashed. Blood, broken bones, ruined skin complexions, you name it, it was all in that pile of broken bodies. However, there were more than just five skimpily dressed girls there.

Somehow, someway, three other bodies were amongst the collateral damage. Now if you know this fic as well as you hope you do, one of those bodies belonged to Sharpner.

The other two, if you're following the well placed train of thought I've given you, were Hercule and Erasa. How the three had gotten mixed up in the fight, only Kami knows.

But he's willing to tell for a price.

With that obstacle out of her way, Videl turned her sights back to the hideous golden statue and got the shock of her life.

The statue wasn't there.

Dum dum dum!!

Feeling a presence behind her, the Satan girl turned to see Gohan looking at her, smiling. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I am but what happened to the statue," the girl asked puzzled.

Looking at where the menace previously was, the demi-saiyan just replied "Don't worry about it; it's been taken care of."

Completely lost now, Videl asked "What do you mean?"

Narrowing his eyes, his voice deepening, all the saiyan said was "It's been taken care of."

With an arctic chill running a marathon up and down her spine, the daughter of Satan dropped the subject.

* * *

Deep underground, an old man was pushing a cart down a cement pathway. On the cart, a large wooden crate with "TOP SECRET" and "DO NOT OPEN" stamped on it, was sitting.

Outlining the cement pathway, crates on top of crates sat, creating the artificial road. If one were to look down upon it, they would see the boxes reaching out endlessly in the distance.

What ever was in those crates and its newest addition (coughcoughstatuecoughcough), they would never be seen by the public again.

* * *

It was the end of the day and the happy couple as I'm now calling them was still intact.

Although there had been a few weird things occurring around them, they had yet to notice the devious plans that Hercule, Sharpner, and Erasa had been hatching and failing miserably with.

After leaving the broken group of girls, the couple walked around, enjoying more and more of the carnival while weird accidents seemed to happen. A funnel cake operator had tried to throw a funnel cake at someone (a steak dinner goes to anyone who can guess who the target was) but was intercepted as the crowed attacked the flying cake. Several more were thrown but each one was snatched in midair. Though some people had gotten cake, others had to be taken to the hospital due to being jumped on top of and other such injuries.

Another accident happened when some blond guy had tried to use a power line as a trapeze wire and was thoroughly shocked when a squirrel ran into the conductor. The blond was then taken to the nearest morgue, assuming he was dead from the experience but were shocked when they found him very much alive.

Other such things happened throughout the rest of the day, yet the author had lost all imagination to write them down for you for some reason, not that the couple cared.

So ungrateful aren't they?

Walking away with their bounty, Videl said aloud, "That was pretty fun, don't ya think?"

"Yeah, that was so much better than a day in class," Gohan replied, grinning like a buffoon.

Smiling, Videl leaned into the saiyan. "So, you hear about the World Martial Arts Tournament coming up?"

"Yeah, I heard about it. Are you gonna enter?"

"I had plans to, but with everything that's happened the last few weeks, I think it'll be pretty boring," Videl said.

Looking down at the girl, the saiyan asked "So what would make it fun?"

"Some decent competition, maybe…hey, I know!" the Satan girl suddenly shouted.

Startled, Gohan looked at the girl. "You know what?"

"Why don't you enter? It'll be so much more fun that way."

The demi-saiyan paled. Oh no, not again, he was not gonna be dragged into something else. First the survival camp, then the high school thing; he was not gonna be going into some crummy martial arts tournament.

"Uhh, I don't know if that would be such a great idea…" Gohan began.

"Huh? Why not? Don't tell me you don't want to enter."

"Well, I didn't have any plans to…" the demi-saiyan started.

"That's great then! Since you don't have any plans, you can make them!" Videl exclaimed, excitement in her voice.

"But I don't—" Gohan tried to say but was interrupted.

"This will be so cool. I can't wait for this tournament to come," the Satan girl said, an excited glint in her eye.

"But I…I…" Gohan tried to protest but then stopped. There was no going back now, he was stuck in this tournament whether he wanted to or not. "I'll join you, I guess."

"Yes!! I knew you'd see it my way," Videl exclaimed. "Of course, you and I will be training together for it."

"Yes ma'am," Gohan replied.

"And you're gonna teach me all you know."

"Yes ma'am."

Turning around suddenly, Videl hugged the demi-saiyan. "I can't wait for the tournament to come now. Well, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Yes ma'am."

Not noticing the same response, the Satan girl soon separated from the Son boy and started to head off. "See ya later Gohan."

This time, Gohan said something different. "Bye Videl."

As soon as the Satan girl was gone, Gohan looked up into the sky.

"Kami…how do I get myself stuck in these things?"

* * *

To "the anon. reviewer that didn't leave a name": lol, yeah I know you have ideas. Believe me I do. I've used quite a few of them in this.

To dbzfan952: No, I don't have a talking mirror and if I did, it'd probably be broken by now lol. Might explain my seven years bad luck.

To J-teezy: You welcome. I've had a blast with this whole fic. Too bad all good things must come to an end though.

Well, this is the last chapter everyone. I'd like to thank everyone that read, reviewed, and enjoy this piece of work. It's been fun throwing curveballs at everyone and making some mothers look at people weirdly lol.

As you can probably already guess from the last part, though I've pretty much left this storyline open for another installment. However, I really have no motivation to continue with it sadly. If someone else wishes to pick up where I left off, by all means do so. I'll even help out if they so wish. But as I've said, this is where I get off having complete control of this masterpiece of mine.

For now though, I have a couple other projects I'll be working on, namely a co-authored fic with Ms. Videl Son and the sequel to Battle Stain; both of which will be kicking my ass lol.

But before I do that, I'm going underground. After finally posting this wonderful story of mine, I've gotten this gut feeling that ya'll will be hunting me down the moment I put "Complete" on this thing. So in the interest of self preservation...I'm gonna run with my tail in between my legs and hide. I did it when I finished SOL; I did it with BS; and now I'm doing it with ROL. Hmmm, seems like a trend is forming...

Until next time,

ShadowMajin


End file.
